MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should Tina lend to close mate Stina?



  • roxalana
    roxalana Posts: 631
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    definitely only lend what you would be happy to give as a gift i.e. think how you would feel if you didn't get ANY back and count any repayments as lucky!

    You never know what will happen or what will continue to be affordable for that person in the future. Plus by lending money to someone you cannot help but become interested in their spending habits! Something will always niggle when they can't afford to pay you this month but you see them out in the pub...

    I would direct them to this site or the CAB and help them with budget plans, doing car boot sales or flogging things on ebay and maybe give them a small gift (like doing a weeks shop for them so they can pay more off that week) but not lend to them.

    Note this is coming from someone who has lent someone £4k in the past and they paid it back no problem - they even paid it back quicker than we agreed, but there was no guarantee I would get any back and i was fully prepared to write off the lot if needs be - but I dont think I would have stayed friends with them if this had happened!
  • Imelda, should contact the company and request they collect the second pair sent in error and pay for their return. It was an honest mistake, if they choose not to pay then she should inform them that she will keep them. Once she has paid for the first pair that is her side of the contract completed.
  • Thetis
    Thetis Posts: 1 Newbie
    edited 28 January 2010 at 7:26PM
    I have just been asked to lend £2000 to friend. I had long think - said friend has been bad payer in past when I have lent far less. While I was thinking another friend lent her the money. I had decided I would refer her to who organise loans like this and would be prepared to lend via this website myself. Friend now seems to be cross with me anyway - sad to see a close friend of 20 years behave like this, not least because I have readily given money to her in the past - she is not British by the way but arab. Sad really, but a learning experience.
  • Lost2
    Lost2 Posts: 15,587
    Name Dropper Photogenic First Post First Anniversary
    SC24 wrote: »
    A friend in need is a friend indeed. So glad I'm not friends with any of you lot!

    If they were a good friend, of course I would lend it.

    People have to work hard for there money and often or not there on a minimum wage or not far off it. If she's having problems paying her card off then what chance have you of getting your money back.
    Or may be you just have loads of money?
    Sealed Pot Number 018 🎄2009..£950.50 🎄2010..£256 🎄 2011..£526 🎄2012..£548.80 🎄2013...£758.88🎄2014...£510 🎄2015...£604.78 🎄2016...£704.50 🎄2017...£475 🎄2018...£1979.12 🎄2019...£408.88🎄2020...£1200.63...🎄2021…£588 🎄2022 £672… 🎄2023 £3,783.90 🎄2024…£
  • Tina should lend the money, ensuring that the loan does indeed pay off the credit card debt. She should keep Stina's credit card and make Stina show her the monthly statements - just in case Stina applies for another card and racks up another debt. Stina should make a standing order to her bank to pay off the debt to Tina. Tina should take a valuable item of Stina's as security for the loan, then when Stina has fully repaid the loan, Tina should sell the security and keep the money for herself. Result.
  • For Chris'ts sake there's enough trouble and strife going on in the world at the moment. Birthday present or not forget the materialism and goddam get on with just being friends.
  • I was always taught 'only lend what you can afford to loose.'

    I've lent small amounts over the years to friends & have always said pay me back when you can. I wouldnt risk my friendships on money disputes. If you cant afford to live without this money dont lend it - you can be supportive in other ways & that way you'll remain firm friends whatever happens :)
  • you've got the bad feedback now so you've taken the hit keep the cash.

    next time arrange first though, I tried to arrange to collect an item before and the seller refused said it was postal only so you never know how people think until you ask.............
  • Goodness me NO WAY!!! , Does this person not realise the cost of fuel etc ... some people:eek:
  • Bushey
    Bushey Posts: 37
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Always difficult,
    some years ago I was asked to help out the in-law so he wouldnt lose his house on his divorce, borrowed him £3500, no contract drawn up, no timescale, but just felt sorry for him as his ex had taken him to the cleaners, I lost in excess of £900 in interest on the sum because he took years to pay it back and I even had to remind him it wasnt paid back in full when he thought he had.
    Never again.:(
    Bushwacker. :beer:
    Retired @55yrs Financially Secure, & Totally Completely, Utterly debt free! :j
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