MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should Tina lend to close mate Stina?



  • pineapple
    pineapple Posts: 6,931
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    Maybe I would point her to this site and the articles about using a cheaper credit card temporarily to pay off the more expensive one!
    However, I don't 'do' credit cards so maybe I'm biased but I would be worried how she got to owe £3,000 in the first place. IMO it doesn't augur well for her paying me back. Plus as someone said, what happens if she loses her job etc?
    I'm not totally against lending a friend money (depending on the amount and my own solvency) but I would be more inclined to do so if it was a sudden emergency not of their own making.
  • As someone who was stung by just such a scenario (but it was 34.9%!) even I wouldn't ask a friend to help me out.

    However - my wife (married six years, together ten) did do that and it was a lifesaver. I pay her at 7%, we're now 18 months into a four-year arrangement.

    The difference is that she knows my full financial picture, she knows it's in our joint interest to sort it out, and if I do lose my job and can't pay her back we're jointly in a better position than if I'd still had a 34.9% credit card bill that wasn't reducing.

    I probably feel more awkward about accepting her help than she does about offering it but it's the one thing that's really helped me break the back of my debt situation - it can only work as part of a calorie-controlled diet!

    <edit: some people are coming to the conclusion that Stina's not very good with money, and her credit rating is 'poor', because she can't get a balance transfer. I don't think you can assume that to be the case - one big change in the credit crunch is that people who have clean records now can't get credit, and that previously manageable debt levels are suddenly unmanageable because of interest rate increases. Doesn't mean it's right to lend to a friend - just that some old assumptions are no longer true>
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  • Sagi
    Sagi Posts: 3 Newbie
    Absolutely not. The fact that Stina has a credit card bill that she cannot pay and that her credit rating is too poor to get a balance transfer shows that Stina is not good with her finances or at paying off debts. Lend her this money and Tina will lose her cash and a close friend. If she wants to help Stina she should sit down with her and help her to sort out her finances.
  • My Partner agreed to put a season ticket on his credit card for a friend 4 years ago as his friend could not get credit. Now there is still 1800 outstanding, there have been 3 late payments and the interest is huge. We have no debts but this was taken into account when we applied for a mortgage - greatly reducing the amount we could borrow. He pays off £60 per month, of which interest is £20, at this rate it will be anther 5 years before its clear. His friend is still his friend though! Never ever lend to a friend, I would never borrow from one as you cannot guarentee you'll be able to pay it back
  • My mum always told me "never mix friends and money".
  • Definitely not for £3k. Yes if it was for a smaller amount to a very, very good friend. I would rather not lose friends or money. Sometimes the two just don't mix.
    I have to get back to work, when I stop rowing the slaveship goes round in circles.
  • When thinking about lending to friends and family, never lend more than you would be willing to give as a gift if they were in enough trouble. It's that simple. Even so, it is best avoided, as people you trust can turn out to be surprisingly bad with money or behave differently where money is involved, and it has the potential to ruin relationships. However if there is no viable alternative, never lend more than you'd be willing to give as a gift, and take seriously the possibility (with all possible consequences for you) of not getting any of it back.
  • It seems like you and your friend have a good friendship. My friend and I are exactly the same, I would lend her anything and she would never let me down, vice versa... But not everyone is like that, some people are selfish and when things are not in their control they just focus on number one : (
  • Casanova
    Casanova Posts: 49 Forumite
    For a proper friend, or immediate family member, then without hesitation (as long as the lender can afford it).

    I was very lucky to be able to borrow money off my best friend to do a Masters. He put no restriction on me paying it back, for which I have set myself a payment plan over 8 months now I am earning (off the back of that Masters). There will be no formal interest paid, but I'll take him on holiday or something to repay the favour.

    Within our family we are constantly lending money - if you trust someone and can afford to do so, then it is heartless not to.
  • marvic_2
    marvic_2 Posts: 9 Forumite
    Yes. but you must be prepared to lose your money and your friend
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