the daydream fund challenge thread

lostinrates

cootambear wrote: »

Its a basic human right for a woman to have or have not, a child.

Finances are important, true, but if you provide a loving home, thats all that matters.

You know, I'm not sure I agree..about the ''right''. Its something we talk about a lot here as I am barren. We could try IVF but I feel if nature has made me barren as well as ill then I should not try to create another life that may itself risk suffering. Fertility treatment is something that I think about and worry about ethically a lot. I'd love a child, not a houseful, but one or two. I'd like sporty healthy boy, but I know DH would have liked a daughter...and he'd be a fabulous father to a girl, and she'd grow up feeling like a princess. But its not going to happen for us...so I can't really view it as a right. Any more than I view good health as a right...its luck and taking care of yourself as much as possible.

we have looked at fostering a couple of times, but for various reasons decide, for now anyway, not too. I'm not convinced we wouldn't adopt though....under the right circumstances for us, but now we have committed everything to this house/land stuff and time and money will be tight for a while. The process of adoption and the invasiveness of it puts me off more than the same process for fostering...oddly.

alfie_1

I've been unable to seperate the life I have now to the life I should have with the daughter I lost at birth 11 years ago. The pain never leaves it just subsides and lays there in the background. I still live in hope that one day I will be a mommy even though I am now in my forties! EEK!

i am sorry to hear that. i have one son of 24 who i could have lost earlier this year. my heart stopped when the incident came on the news... but he was ok and all that hard slog of 24 years to get him to be the person he is has paid off. money had nothing to do with it either... he had hand me downs happily, he learnt it wasnt money but manners that counted in life. he had loving family [i was a single parent] to support him. iv seen the richest kids turn into "wrongens" and the poorest into decent human beings. love and feeling safe is worth a kings ransom in my book.. so you hold onto your dreams gal....

lostinrates

alfie_1 wrote: »

oh dear, i hope the old gal is ok soon... barney did that, got caught on a gate by his rug...he didnt hurt himself tho..just ripped his coat from front to back !! wouldnt have minded but i only bought it the day before:( and you know when you have seen reductions on rugs for 51 weeks of the year but when you want one you end up paying top wack !!! well i had to buy 2 in such a week :mad:

Yes, her rug is ruined. I'm so relieved I have spares for her, but it has meant a re purchase, as her spares are spares for a reason! Luckily they had one on sale online, but its still a whack of a price for a HW rug. edit: had good fun looking through the sales sites though. And savd on postage by getting it from where my jacket is coming from too.

cootambear

lostinrates wrote: »

You know, I'm not sure I agree..about the ''right''. Its something we talk about a lot here as I am barren. We could try IVF but I feel if nature has made me barren as well as ill then I should not try to create another life that may itself risk suffering. Fertility treatment is something that I think about and worry about ethically a lot. I'd love a child, not a houseful, but one or two. I'd like sporty healthy boy, but I know DH would have liked a daughter...and he'd be a fabulous father to a girl, and she'd grow up feeling like a princess. But its not going to happen for us...so I can't really view it as a right. Any more than I view good health as a right...its luck and taking care of yourself as much as possible.

we have looked at fostering a couple of times, but for various reasons decide, for now anyway, not too. I'm not convinced we wouldn't adopt though....under the right circumstances for us, but now we have committed everything to this house/land stuff and time and money will be tight for a while. The process of adoption and the invasiveness of it puts me off more than the same process for fostering...oddly.

We evolved through natural selection which creates far from perfect creatures (we have a useless appendix for example which sometimes needs taking out in a life threatening situation).

Nature might give a child a cleft lip, but most parents would opt for corrective surgery.

The difficult choice, as always, is yours.

COOLTRIKERCHICK

Just to everyone the heads up

bbc 2 has a goodlife night starting at 8pm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbctwo/

so i am going to make sure everything is done and dusted by 8pm, so i can snuggle up on the sofa with my last bottle of crabbies alcholic ginger beer and the tin of heros:D, and inbetween scoffing my face with choclate I might do a bit of crocheting while i am watching:rotfl:

cootambear

COOLTRIKERCHICK wrote: »

Just to everyone the heads up

bbc 2 has a goodlife night starting at 8pm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbctwo/

so i am going to make sure everything is done and dusted by 8pm, so i can snuggle up on the sofa with my last bottle of crabbies alcholic ginger beer and the tin of heros:D, and inbetween scoffing my face with choclate I might do a bit of crocheting while i am watching:rotfl:

You have made me thirsty now. I have just put some bread in the oven (I wanted to eat it warm) but its coming out as Im going to the shop now and getting some cider. Naughty girl, its your fault lol.

alfie_1

We evolved through natural selection which creates far from perfect creatures

who decides who is "far from perfect"?? compared to what ?? i find that quote quite ambiguous. perhaps i shouldnt rise to "the bait"....

Rummer

Poosmate and the others who gave advice thank you for all your tips on finances they have been gratefully received. We have worked hard to rid ourselves of debt and are now looking to the future so that we have a rainy day fund and long term savings. This site has so much information that I never fail to find something new and useful when I come on.

Today I sifted through my seed box and realized that I may have been a bit over enthusiastic when ordering as I now have more seeds than I have space for in the garden . Now I have the challenge of trying to fit food into new spaces! I think this year I will plant some in the front garden too.

Sometimes I think it would be good to have a gardening friend who could come and look at the space I have with fresh eyes and tell me where I could squeeze in more and do things better.

lostinrates

Rummer wrote: »

Poosmate and the others who gave advice thank you for all your tips on finances they have been gratefully received. We have worked hard to rid ourselves of debt and are now looking to the future so that we have a rainy day fund and long term savings. This site has so much information that I never fail to find something new and useful when I come on.

Today I sifted through my seed box and realized that I may have been a bit over enthusiastic when ordering as I now have more seeds than I have space for in the garden . Now I have the challenge of trying to fit food into new spaces! I think this year I will plant some in the front garden too.

Sometimes I think it would be good to have a gardening friend who could come and look at the space I have with fresh eyes and tell me where I could squeeze in more and do things better.

Anywhere you can go up? window boxes off fence space? Plank on breeze blocks under windows/around the hose for pots and troughs?

I'm getting edgy...I can't see when we will get any veg beds in.:(:( I don't want to be a container veg grower this year and I have loads of strawberries beggin for a patch of earth of their own.

Rummer

We have lots of space that isn't being used, we have a comfortably sized garden but I just feel we are not using it to it's full advantage. The first year here we started small and only had a few bits and pieces planted and last year I had all my seedlings up and running in the greenhouse when I took not well and sadly the seedlings and the garden went to ruin. it was so hard to watch all our good work go to waste but there was nothing that could be done.

When we moved in we were thinking about a 5 year plan for the garden where we would expand our growing every year till the garden was at full capacity so we wouldn't take on too much too soon.