So Annoyed

sugared_honey

:mad:

This time last week, had 3 bridesmaids, all looking forward to the big day in 7 weeks, and my hen do next week.

I got a text from one on wed saying that her and another one were struggling money wise and couldn't afford to buy shoes and accessories. (I had already paid for shoes, dresses and accessories, bridesmaids didn't like fit or style of dresses so bought new ones-(their choice not mine), I asked them to buy dresses that went with the shoes as I couldn't afford to buy more, they said they would, then didn't, they think they clash a bit.
So when I got this text I just replied saying 'dont worry if they clash a little doesn't matter, if not wear some you feel comfortable in'.
Then..get a text on thursday saying how she can't be bridesmaid as can't afford it as shes already had to pay for the hotel room on the night, the dress and the hen do (i told them a night on the town would be fine, but have been 'surprised' with a couple of days in prague) Nice as that is of them to plan that, I didn't expect them to, certainly not at the cost of coming to the wedding!

I then got an email yesterday from the other one, saying she too wouldn't be able to make it to the wedding anymore as she is behind with uni work and has to attend a presentation on the wedding day, silly me thinking they would be off uni in the middle of half term :whistle:

She then added a paragraph saying 'I couldn't afford it anyway as the costs were mounting up'.

Lovely friends I have, so am a little peeved now Has been planned for the past 9 months and can't beleive I've been let down at last minute like this, thing that made me laugh though, both girls said 'cant wait for next week when we can celebrate in style'!

Sorry for the rant, am still a bit in shock, just no idea what to do, feel cheeky asking people to be bridesmaid at this stage as its very 'you weren't my first choice but will you be my bridesmaid'... and I don't want it to be like that at all

Any ideas?

gill_81uk

That's awful sugared_honey. Are these people supposed to be your friends????

Why one earth can't one of them afford it? What more costs does she need to incur as bridesmaid if she already has dress and has paid for hotel room etc???

Do you still have one remaining bridesmaid? I think you have a few choices, you can carry on with your one loyal remaining bridemaid and just have her? Or if you have any close friends/family who wouldn't be offended you could ask someone (s) to step in their place.

I can't get over how they have treated you, loads of hugs xxx

Sexy_Legs

((((HUGS)))) Bless you,

I would be annoyed to if that happened to me, as I am sure when it is their big day that you would make sure you were there.

I have been to Vegas for friends wedding last year and Spain, I feel its right to make the effort.

I am getting married in Somert on the 24th April, I was in Ireland last week and got quite negative vibes, excuses why peopel couldn't make it and it put me in a right panic so know how you feel especially when they are bridesmaids.

See if you can ask some other close member of your friends and family, thinking of you.

bride_on_a_budget

This happened to us a week before the wedding, but it was our bestman (hubby best mate for 15 years)who rang out of the blue and said he couldnt get the time off work and it was going to cost alot to get to the wedding (we are in plymouth bestman in leeds).

i was annoyed as i sort of knew he wasnt going to turn up, sent our wedding present 6 months before the wedding, took ages to give us suit measurements ect...

so we just said, ok we will get some-one else. we did not let it spoil our day as we were already nervous.

i would say if they ado this to you 7 weeks before your wedding , then they are not worth worrying about,
ask a family member or another reliable friend to be a bridesmaid.

hugs for you and dont panic,
bride

sugared_honey

Yes Gill, supposed to be friends, rubbish eh! I wonder if they have got a strop on as I havn't offered to buy them a second pair of shoes!I have asked an old friend if she will and she's said course she will, feel bad that I didn't ask in the first place but not much I can do.Next thing is the hen do next week, not sure if I'm really inclined to see these people again, let alone next week! Think my sister (remaining bridemaid) is going to speak to them and see if we are in seperate rooms so we don't have to go with them but not sure, has anyone ever been to Prague before? Was supposed to be a secret apparently until we got to the airport but my sis told me last night to try an cheer me up bless her :)I know what you mean SL, wish people would be straight and just say if they're intending on coming or not!Thanks Bride, how annoying, these things are planned for ages, my first thought would be to book cheap train ticket and get time off work, guess not everyone thinks the same!Thanks for all your replies xx

gill_81uk

They are bang out of order if that's what they are in a stop about! Especially since you have already bought dress, shoes and accessories!!

I think you have the right idea - have a good time in Prague with your sis and forget about those girls, they don't deserve to be called your friend.

Good on your other mate, you know who your real friends are now xxx

sal-ad_daze

I agree with the girls, you've done more than enough to accommodate them - and it was their choice to buy alternative dresses which IMO was a bit of a cheek after you'd paid for everything!
I'm sure there are a few girls going to Prague next week so you should be able to avoid spending time with just them, and I'm sure your lovely sister will keep them away from you!
Enjoy your wedding with the people you have around you, you know they're the ones that care.

btw not sticking up for her but Uni's don't close for half terms, that's why they have longer end of term hols! I do wonder about the importance of the work though because exam period has just finished and results just given out so am surprised that such an important piece of work is due so soon!

Horace

These ungrateful girls don't deserve your friendship.

Enjoy your time in Prague - it is supposed to be a lovely place, I haven't been myself but one of my friends has and she had a fab time.

Your sis and your chum will be bridesmaids enough and with the others they can go whistle. Sell their dresses too if you still have them along with their accessories and shoes.

I am sure you will have a lovely break and hope you have a fantastic wedding.

skintchick

That's rubbish! First up, go on the hen without them. ignore them and tell them beforehand you won;t be 'celebrating'w ith them as they are ruining your wedding.

As for BMs, I only had one (who I wish I'd sacked before teh day but that's anotehr story) and you don;t need them! Mine did nothing for me at all, all day so go with whoever you have or have none, it won;t make your day bad and no-one will really notice.

A lot of people thought I'd have none anyway for some reason (probs cos my mates are older then me??)

Anyway, tell your so-called mates off, have a fab time next week without them and enjoy planning your wedding cos the day itself goes so quickly!

Neeny82

I also think they are bang out of order! I see being a bridesmaid as a comlete honour and if I was asked (I have been 3 times in last 2 years) I would do everything within my power to make sure I could afford it. If I couldn't I would have stated so at the time of asking but I don't think I would ever do that to someone! I would make a few sacrifices and would not have been daft enough to book an expensive hen do for my friend if I couldn't actually afford to go.

xJayJayx

they clearly aren't worth the title 'bridesmaid' if they can let you down at such short notice. If they couldn't afford it why didn't they tell you this to begin with, i think they're talking crap..