Feeling overwhelmed and scared

Sofa_Sogood

skintchick wrote:

No idea where to post this.

I'm sitting here crying right now because I feel so scared about my future and have no-one to turn to.

I just want someone to tell me it's going to be OK.

I was made redundant two weeks ago, and because of the work I do and my experience, I have reached a point where I have go either go freelance or move to London - and I don;t want to do that.

So I decided to go try going freelance, but I haven't had any work this week, and I just can't motivate myself now.

I just want someone of my own to give me a big hug and tell me it;s going to be ok.

I am so fed up of doing it all on my own,

Please will someone give me a virtual hug - please tell me it will be OK . I was so positive when I actually was made redundant and now I feel so down.

Ohh, I'll look like a hypocrite now skintchick, I've just doubted some peoples motives for posting happy and sad posts And to make it worse, I said I didn't like tattoos!

On a serious note, although your Mum seems tied up with her Mums illness ... wouldn't she be worried knowing you feel like this? Does she even know?

I've not read about your lodger problems ...sorry

If you were my daughter, and you had a choice of freelance or living in London ... I'd never let a depressed daughter go to London. You have to talk to your Mum.

This is hard to type, but most Mums would rather lose their own Mums, than their daughters.... and I'm sorry if that offends anyone.

Keep your chin up and confide in people that are close to you x

Smiley_Mum

Hi Skintchick,

Sorry to hear about your troubles, have a HUGE BIG hug from me and my boys. As mentioned above, do try and get a full quota of sleep. I know how grouchy I can be without a decent nights kip. Ensure that your diet is kept up and you are eating well, you may not wish to eat or pick at food etc when you feel low but do your best to take care of yourself. Give the Samaritans a call too, I've always found them very kind and helpful whenever I've needed someone to talk to in the past. Just having someone there to talk to that is neutral and having someone to tell your troubles to can be a great help, I always felt better after I'd spoken to them. If you do feel the need to cry then do so, crying when we are low helps the body to release chemicals that help us feel better, holding everything in isn't such a good idea. Obviously if your depressive symptoms become worse then visit your GP for some medical advice etc. Sometimes things can look really bleak before they take a turn around, and also fear of the unknown etc. Try not to worry, I know sometimes that can be easier said than done. Find out about whatever benefits you may be entitled to as mentioned above by a previous poster. There are plenty people who care so I hope you don't feel too alone. If you lived nearby I'd of popped around to see you with some chocolate and my kids would certainly cheer you up with their antics. If they saw you upset they'd be rushing to get you tissues and offering hugs too etc. Take care of yourself ok, DPN isn't nice and BTW steer clear of people who tell you to take the stiff upper lip approach and to shake yourself out it etc, they don't have a clue. Hope things improve for you soon. :grouphug:

Sofa_Sogood

Smiley_Mum wrote:

Take care of yourself ok, DPN isn't nice and BTW steer clear of people who tell you to take the stiff upper lip approach and to shake yourself out it etc, they don't have a clue. Hope things improve for you soon. :grouphug:

Hi Smiley_Mum,

Can I ask what DNP is?

Thanks.

Smiley_Mum

Sofa_Sogood wrote:

Hi Smiley_Mum,

Can I ask what DNP is?

Thanks.

It's DPN, instead of typing Depression in full.

homersimpson_3

try to avoid if at all possible taking tablets- seen too many people become reliant on them. often people say they're depressed but all these people need is a shoulder to cry on, someone to provide constructive help to show them the way out of the dark tunnel. their attitude/mood soon improves once they're given some form of hope/way out etc. if you don't sleep much or just cat nap don't be yourself up over it; it's understandable under the circumstances. there'll come a point when you'll be so tired you'll sleep anyway. you'll get so sick of say house being in a mess something will kick and you take responsibility.
having been there i know what it's like to be made redundant- it's feels like the rug has been pulled from under your feet and affects every area of your life. practically you have to pay the bills. did you receive redundancy money?- if so this should tie you over for a while. contact mortgage provider and explain position to them and claim on any mortgage protection insurance you have. if not can you ask for mortgage to put on interest only or payment holiday for a few months. apply for any benefits you may be entitled to and in meantime apply for any job to pay the bills. can you set up your freelance business initially part-time to reduce risk- cancel all unecessary items until income better. are you eligible for any start up grants?
if friend away phone them. can they come home? as for being single there are ways of meeting people (dating agencies; becoming involved in clubs, through friends etc). if you stop looking usually loves comes knocking. gving impression of being too desperate or needy puts people off. so concentrate on sorting out job situation and you may find the rest of your life will be sorted. take care.

margaretclare

shanny wrote:

Please hang on in there. I was made redundant 3 times in 2 years and survived. The first time was when my parents were sick and needed help - it was as if I was not working so as to help them.

How about helping your Mum support your Nan. That would probably make you all feel better.

Things do work out and I know it is difficult to remain positive but please take a Hug from me.

Yes, I agree.

I was made redundant in 1992 (from a senior job in the NHS, the type of job that you hear 'there'll always be a need for' - there's a desperate shortage now) and this coincided with my first husband's death. I had a mortgage to pay and had to struggle, doing menial jobs to keep a roof over my head.

My present husband has been made redundant about 5 times in his career in engineering sales (UK manufacturing industry going down the pan).

Doing something positive always helps. Your Mum must need help, she'd be glad of help and support from you. And your grandmother...she needs help and support too, your Mum can't do it all. You'd feel better if you were able to do something to help them, even a phone call from you would help.

Best wishes

Aunty Margaret

beverleyhills

:hello: Squintchick

Hope you are feeling better today.

However positive a person feels towards redundacy it can shatter self esteem. You are an OK person Squintchick. How you are feeling is a reaction to what is going on in your life. Don't be afraid to seek help.

When my mind is too active to sleep I listen to audio tapes, music or the radio using earphones so I don't disturb DH.

Concentrate on your breathing; count each outward breath, after 4, start again with 1. Repeat.

At the library look for self help books on relaxation and meditation.

Bh

'Tears are often the telescope through which we see far into heaven' - Henry Ward Beecher

shanny_3

Skintchick

I would think there is a lot of material on MSE for interesting articles. Have a look through the various boards and I am sure you will be inspired. If you get permission from the people I am sure they would be able to help you.

Big Hugs

kathfisch

Hi Skintchick!

I hadn't seen this thread until today but just wanted to offer (((hugs))) and say I'm thinking of you. Like others, I think the support and encouragment you offer to us all over on the DFW board is amazing and everyone is happy to offer you some support in return!

When you were made redundant I remember thinking how positive you were about working freelance, which was great. Just remember, those positive feelings are still there under the surface and soon you will find them again!

I hope that you feel much better tomorrow and feel able to make a good start to the week. Don't set your sights too high, just set a realistic goal for the day or week and be proud when you've done it.

Best wishes and do let us know how you are feeling

Kath

miacat

Hi skintchick, have to say i ain't good with words but just want to offer you some support like everyone else here. When i have troubles i look on it like another bridge to cross in my life and yours is too. things always get better just wait and see! (( Big hug from too.))