Feeling overwhelmed and scared

skintchick

No idea where to post this.

I'm sitting here crying right now because I feel so scared about my future and have no-one to turn to.

I just want someone to tell me it's going to be OK.

I was made redundant two weeks ago, and because of the work I do and my experience, I have reached a point where I have go either go freelance or move to London - and I don;t want to do that.

So I decided to go try going freelance, but I haven't had any work this week, and I just can't motivate myself now.

I have other things going on right now too. My lodger problems as detailed in another thread, my nan has just had a mastectomy so my mum is distracted and isn;t phoning me. My best mate is on holiday.

I just feel I am beginning to get depressed again and I can't sleep properly - got about two hours last night. I just feel so upset that I won;t be able to live and I don;t know what else I could do and it all seems so big and scary and hopeless.

And it just brings home to me that I don;t have anyone to turn to - I;'ve been single for so long and I will never meet anyone, and I just want someone of my own to give me a big hug and tell me it;s going to be ok.

I am so fed up of doing it all on my own,

Please will someone give me a virtual hug - please tell me it will be OK . I was so positive when I actually was made redundant and now I feel so down.

mrcow

Have a big :grouphug: from me.

You sound so down. Sometimes when there's so much going on, just one knock too many can make you feel like nothing's going right.

I'm sure everything will work out. Going alone in business is such a big step, and you should be really proud of your decision to take the leap.

You need to take care of yourself too though, so take some time out this afternoon and spend the time on yourself.

jayne26

hi , sometimes getting no sleep or rubbish sleep can make everything seem so much worse. why dont to try and get an appointment with the doc this afternoon and just tell him or her what you feel right now. im going through some crazy work bullying stuff at the moment and when i couldnt sleep i thought i was going over the edge, anyway the doc gave me some sleeping tabs and after a few nights i felt i got my fight back , its a bad time with all the other stuff going on in your life so i would make that call today , when your depressed you stuggle with motorvation but you dont know whats round the courner , better sunny weather, making a go of your job set up, who knows , hope you feel better soon

shanny_3

skintchick wrote:

No idea where to post this.

I'm sitting here crying right now because I feel so scared about my future and have no-one to turn to.

I just want someone to tell me it's going to be OK.

I was made redundant two weeks ago, and because of the work I do and my experience, I have reached a point where I have go either go freelance or move to London - and I don;t want to do that.

So I decided to go try going freelance, but I haven't had any work this week, and I just can't motivate myself now.

I have other things going on right now too. My lodger problems as detailed in another thread, my nan has just had a mastectomy so my mum is distracted and isn;t phoning me. My best mate is on holiday.

I just feel I am beginning to get depressed again and I can't sleep properly - got about two hours last night. I just feel so upset that I won;t be able to live and I don;t know what else I could do and it all seems so big and scary and hopeless.

And it just brings home to me that I don;t have anyone to turn to - I;'ve been single for so long and I will never meet anyone, and I just want someone of my own to give me a big hug and tell me it;s going to be ok.

I am so fed up of doing it all on my own,

Please will someone give me a virtual hug - please tell me it will be OK . I was so positive when I actually was made redundant and now I feel so down.

Please hang on in there. I was made redundant 3 times in 2 years and survived. The first time was when my parents were sick and needed help - it was as if I was not working so as to help them.

How about helping your Mum support your Nan. That would probably make you all feel better.

Things do work out and I know it is difficult to remain positive but please take a Hug from me.

nicola1982_2

Redundancy is incredibly life-changing and my thoughts are with you. Keep motivated though, 11 years ago my father was made redundant from a poorly paid job and he's now opening his second design business!

Meeting someone is something that will happen, although you often despair that it won't. Until a year ago I was in an incredibly unhappy relationship and felt more lonely then when I'd been single. I finally broke it off and thought I'd never meet the man of my dreams, until one day I realised I'd fallen in love with an old friend and we've now been together 8 months. Keep positive and whatever you do, don't settle. Also remember your best friend will return and I'm sure will be round with a bottle of wine as soon as s/he knows you're unhappy.

Also I looked at your signature - you've managed to reduce your debt significantly so you're obviously dedicated to improving your finances, you can do this!

phbaker

i was made redundant completely out of the blue a few years back, so i understand how you feel about that. with no regular inclome all the things you take for granted, like food and paying bills, seem to become much bigger hurdles. on top of that, whatever your public face says, your confidence will have taken a huge knock, which creates a feeling of uselessness, however strong and confident you normally are.

THE GOOD NEWS is that the feeling of crappyness, no motivation and feeling alone will pass. one day soon, you will wake up and realise it wasnt your fault you were made redundant, you still have the skills you have used before and you will get the self motivation and self belief back to go get those freelance jobs, work will keep streaming in once the market realises just how good you are and all the other things will sort themselves out.

in the mean time, as suggested by jayne26, you can visit your doc for pills and they can also refer you to a councillor/therapist to talk through all the things happening, they will help you put perspective on things. is you dont want synthetic pills to help you sleep, try nytol, you can get synthetic or natural versions and they seem to work to get a good nights rest, where you will wake up revitalised and everything that is gettin on top of you will be seen in a new light.

i hope you feel better soon, well done for airing it here rather than keeping it bottled up till you burst and remember, as mulder used to say........YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Tondella

oh skintchick. It's no wonder that you;re feeling a little knocked down by life after all these massive life changing events. but believe me, none if it is the end of the world. Think of the positives, if you hadn't taken control of your debt while you had a steady job you'd be in a lot more of a panic than you are now. Cut yourself some slack, life throws allsorts at us and you've just got to roll with the punches. be kind to yourself, you're having a hard time, take a bath, bake a cake, read a magazine, take a walk, do something for yourself, if there isn't anyone to spoil you like you deserve at the moment then spoil yourself!

sometime in the future you'll bump into this fantastic person who will think you are wonderful for all you have managed to get through by yourself. you'll be strong and independent and inspirational to them, and then they can take over the spoiling for you!

If you want to think of practicalities then how about looking for a part time job, just to keep the essentials paid for while you get your freelance work off the ground. It can be something unrelated to your journalism, maybe something where you get a lot of people interaction, as you may miss this in your freelance work. Then at least you know that things can get paid.

Have a good old big cry, get it all off your chest, and then pick yourself up and carry on.

All my thoughts, tondella

skintchick

Now I;m crying cos you're all so kind!

I think you're right - I need to allow time for myself instead of sitting here at my compter willing the work to come in.

I do get depression, although haven't been like it for nearly a year, and I have tablets in the cupboard if I need them.

Think I'm going to go and have a bath and a little sleep with my cat and maybe forget about working today, and start fresh on Monday.

It's the second time in a year I've lost a job, so it just all feels too much right now.

larmy16

Skintchick here is a hug from me too. I have just been through some health problems, so could not work (self employed) and was so depressed I could not see the point of going on. This had been building up for some time.

After some rest and appropriate medication I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, however still no sign of the knight on the white charger!!!!!!!!!

phbaker

be careful not to fall for the cosy duvet solution. if you hide, you will just feel worse with yourself. starting afresh on monday is a good idea, but how about making a plan of action after the bath or over the weekend, nothing too strenuous or serious just jot down things you think could be done to help as they pop into your head, so, when you get up on monday you will have allsit ofthings to do and wont be daunted by not knowing where to start.

take care and enjoy yer weekend, spend it with family and/or friends.

skintchick

I only want a nap cos I didn;t sleep last night - but I have just washed the sheets so need to make it first.

See? I AM doing something. Honest!

I have a list already just can't make myself do it right now. But I will do three things on it by the end of the day, how does that sound?

And I am out tonight at a dinner party, and a family lunch tomorrow, so I'm keeping going, kind of, just slowly. (And in a slightly panicked manner)