Do children ever leave home nowadays?

Krystaltips

JFC, I and my older brother and sister had all left home by age 17... My little brother stayed a lot longer than that and his story sounds a little similar to your son's... He did a couple of jobs after school and paid his board etc but didn't settle into anything, then he trained as an electritian earning a pittance and working long hours. He then got a job as a 'preventative maintainence engineer' and has a take home salary of £2k a month... He left home to rent a room from a couple when he was about 22 but in order to save up some money he moved back in with my Mum for a while... Then made the gradual move in with his gf... (You know the one where they stay there a few nights... Leave some clothes behind etc... Then before you know it, all their stuff is there and they haven't been home for weeks...) He's 25 and getting married this year.... So even though he stayed home longer than the rest of us, he left eventually...

In all honesty I wish I'd stayed home longer and taken a different path in life sometimes... It was a struggle for me at 17... But I'm happy with what I've got now

jackieb

My son was an apprentice. He's now a trainee, which he will be for about 2 years. He's almost 25 and still living at home. He's just spent £10000 on a car and he pays me £120 every 5 weeks! He's shared a flat but his flatmate moved his girlfriend in, so my son got the heave-ho. He is saving for a house though. He's quite careful with money. When he went from apprentice to trainee, his pay went up by £1000 a month and he puts all of that away for his deposit. He has a girlfriend and takes his friends over too. I don't mind.

I have a 20yo at home too. No sign of him leaving either.

I wish i'd stayed at home longer too. I left at 18. My brother and sister all stayed at home until their mid-20s.

[Deleted User]

Wow, a 4 year apprenticeship and then at the end the salary is 12-14k ? That's a lot of hard work for not a lot back. If this is his plan, i really wouldn't pressure him to leave home - it will financially cripple him.

I think the plan of moving out at 25 is a good one - making goals and plans is a good thing and means he will think about saving a deposit rather than blowing it all on going out (but i know its very important to do that at his age)

JFC_2

17 is very young Krystal, I take my hat of to you at coping with leaving home then (If I was wearing a hat!) You must have been more mature at that age than my eldest is now. He acts more like 16 than 19 at times and his brother who is 16 acts like he is 30! I wonder if they got mixed up somewhere..lol

One thing I havent mentioned though which is probably relevant is that he has Dyspraxia, this can cause some problems that may mean he needs longer to cope with adult life.

I think my main concern was one you answered Krystal when you mentioned your brothers earnings 2k a month take home! If Mike received that I think he could cope very well. A very positive post thank you
xx

JFC_2

I need to do some work ...will be back on later to reply to the other posts...you have all been really helpful and put a smile on my face when I was feeling gloomy..thank you

xx

bookduck

Emigrate!

One of the best gifts a parent can do is to teach their child financial wisdom. Encourage him to save, once he has accumulated (and then there is the bank of mum & dad too ) enough money put a deposit on a place and rent it out, then he has two wages to pay off the mortgage - hopefully over paying. All going well within 5 years he will be able to afford it himself and live there.

In the next few years he will be qualified, so could earn £500+ a week. Usually, more you earn, the more you spend - curb this when they are young

linni

I left home at 16 and there is no way I would want my children to leave home at that age. Maybe when they are in their 20's.

patentgirl

JFC

I know exactly where you are coming from as you could be describing my sons life although he is now fully qualified at 23 although he takes home about £1150 still not an awful lot to set up home with, I still did his packed lunches up till the last couple of years then decided if he wants to waste money in cafes everyday that is up to him he pays board and has a car loan plus insurance monthly as well what with going out once or twice a week, he buys alot of his own food as he cooks in with his girlfriend most nights, he doesnt have a lot left he would love to buy or even rent somewhere with his girlfriend but I cant see this happening for a few years but at the end of the day he enjoys his job so we have told him he is welcome to stop at home as long as he wants not sure if we are too soft.

JFC_2

Patentgirl. - its reassuring to know I am not the only one making packed lunches for a child approaching 20. He is a good lad and wants to pay his way, It was my suggestion that he didnt pay rent until he is out of his apprentiship, but one of his problems I think is that a lot of his friends dont work, they are either at Uni or unemployed so have little income (comparable to his income actualy..lol) But he has a generous nature and I have become aware that he will often pay for his friends when they go out. Once or twice, isnt a problem, but if he does it continualy they will get to expect it. Take it for granted, use him I suppose. I was a little like him at the same age, loved to buy things for my friends and family, it gave me a little buzz to do it, but when you end up with zero in your bank account and nothing to show for it, its not a good way to live your life.

He is coming on holiday with us to Bulgaria in July, I want to ensure he gets a break, with working so hard...his dad thinks I am too soft, but basicaly we want our children to have a nice life.

x

jackieb

patentgirl wrote: »

we have told him he is welcome to stop at home as long as he wants not sure if we are too soft.

The way I look at it is, we may not take all that much in rent from our son, but we've never managed to help him out like a lot of parents do, ie. buy him a car, give him money as a house deposit, etc. In fact, he passed his test when he was 17, but never got to drive until he could afford to buy himself a car when he was 21. He did get to drive the council vans as he got himself a job as a gardener one year (for gardener read grave-digger! :eek: ) We were going to be an extra £400 to insure him and his dad refused to pay that.
If we can have him live at home until he can save for a deposit, then we're doing our bit too.