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SA's voyage through bankruptcy ......

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Comments

  • philnicandamy
    philnicandamy Posts: 15,685 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Oh I dunno.....never say never.....there is a credit crunch on you know!

    cannibal.jpg
    We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will
  • yellowmonkey
    yellowmonkey Posts: 7,052 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    edited 9 April 2009 at 7:45PM
    Find it hard to believe that Girls can walk that far without a shop to aim for :p

    joystickhangers.jpg

    Gets coat :D:D:D:D:D wall.gif
  • startagain_2
    startagain_2 Posts: 2,135 Forumite
    Morning everyone :easter:

    To those of you with a long weekend off - Well done - enjoy!

    For those of you with work all weekend, like me, commiserations!

    Here in the sunny N.East as I sit at my computer listening to the wonderful noise of the street being dug up outside my flat I think back to last Easter and realise just how much has changed in my life.

    Five months ago, I turned my back on a country that I had adopted as a second home, on friends that I had supported financially and emotionally, and a destructive relationship (for me) that still managed to be a heartbreaker when it ended.
    Four months ago, I found this board and within a very short time realised that I was sinking, financially and emotionally, and needed help, and my word I got it..... ;)
    Three months ago, I was declared BR and being at the beginning of January meant that I could look at a real fresh start for the New Year. 2009 is the turning point.

    I have taken up doing hobbies that had long ago been put aside, changed my eating habits, put myself first instead of everyone else. I have started making new friends and getting some sort of social life here in the UK. It is difficult to describe the extent that my other "home" played a part in my life. I was literally working all the hours God sends to try and keep my head above water and it couldn't go on.

    The reason I am writing this is that I often see new posters that are in similar situations where they are struggling so much and are so deeply into trying to cope that they don't realise that there are solutions and easier ways of dealing with debt. The stigma surrounding BR has all but gone and only people with misguided and uneducated views will criticise you for taking that route. Pay no heed and do what is best for you and your life.
    Peace of mind is the most important thing.

    A busyish week ahead for me -
    work (of course) a haircut, counselling appt, dinner out, and............... my first ramble - next Sunday! I don't hang about when I get it in my head to do something, just a gentle 6 miler to start with :eek: - my boss is horrified that I am going... ramblers are one of his pet hates ...lol
    I have promised him that I wont wander into the road or jaywalk :rolleyes:

    Abbey are still sending me default notices, bless them, they just go straight in the bin, but other than that, nothing. It is so good to actually enjoy opening the postbox and not being terrified of what I might find in there. Answering the phone is the same, I have taken off the witheld calls barred feature and the few months that I did use it seem to have done away with all the marketing calls from foreign sounding people, thank heavens.

    So that's it folks ..... enjoy the break and not too much chocolate!

    Hugs

    SA
    2011 - New year, New start, New me
    [STRIKE]Planning on [/STRIKE] making my dreams a reality
  • Lensman_2
    Lensman_2 Posts: 1,506 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Morning SA. Good to see you back. I was starting to think you'd been whisked off by a bloke on a white horse.

    Hope all is OK with you.

    LM
  • startagain_2
    startagain_2 Posts: 2,135 Forumite
    Good Morning everyone......

    It has been over a fortnight since I updated my diary and I thought it was time to write a bit of stuff.
    Welcome to all the new posters on the board, it seems to grow in number day by day. I am so in awe of the regulars who post day in, day out helping and advising - I take my hat off to you... Well done!

    I am nearly 4 months into my BR and 2009 is my "year of recovery" ....

    - recovery from years of debt and struggling (losing) control of my finances
    - recovery from having something (someone) as the centre of my universe. Recipe for disaster - it made me tunnel visioned, closed to family and friends, boring, broke and ill :rolleyes:
    - recovery from the way I did things, from saying yes all the time because of a fear of being rejected.

    BR was one of the best things to happen to me. It has saved me from sinking so deep there would have been no way out. A third of the way through and it certainly hasn't been plain sailing. While I have provision in my approved budget for everything I asked for, large car repair bills and AA renewal in the month after BR, and other unexpected outgoings are challenging, to say the least! In a perfect world the service and MOT would be in the second half of the year, when you have saved some money up, but that would be too easy and life certainly isn't about being easy....

    I am keeping a ledger for my income and outgoings. Some weeks ago I decided that if I wasn't going to sink under the burden of the unexpected outgoings, then I would have to be pro-active with my BR. I keep all the receipts for my outgoings. In three months my car has cost me £510 in repairs, my budget is £105 .... go figure. Without my car I can't get to work so it has to be done.
    I am very lucky in that I can work overtime in other departments if I need to, so that is what I do... I earn exactly enough to pay back the deficit from the previous months outgoings. I couldn't face not having the money to buy my grandchildren a birthday card or present. It is not an ideal situation - I am back to working long hours, sometimes 6 days a week, but it is to pay my bills and not spiralling interest and charges levied by unsympathetic creditors. It makes it seem all the more worthwhile and there is an end in sight this time around.

    I try and exercise as much as I can, swimming and walking, and the occasional horse riding when finances allow. My plans to go rambling are on hold until I can afford the annual membership fee.... A 2010 "thing to do".

    Many of you will know my circumstances - I have regular psychology appointments, am prone to dark days, and struggling to rebuild a life that revolves around me. I had to reach rock bottom in Nov/Dec 2008 for me to realise and discover that things had to change, and changing they are... slowly. I get self help books from the library and get lots of tips and advice from them. I try and discover new things to fill my time and meet new people. If I am rattling around indoors and geting bored (always a danger time) I go for a walk, whatever the weather and it seems to do the trick.
    I have a "goalboard" next to my computer and I have got a list of targets on there - immediate -next 30 days, mid-term - within 3 months, and long term - post BR. I have a couple of pictures of places I want to go and things I want to buy at some stage and it keeps me focussed. Anything that reminds me of the past life has been bansihed to a cardboard box and put away. I have a couple of things that I keep telling myself....one of them is......
    " I am stronger than the negative things that happen to me in my life"

    To those of you who are currently struggling with stuff, remember that you are not alone.If we share experiences, advice and words of support it makes everything just a little bit easier to cope with. People on here have been a marvellous source of support to me and I am so, so grateful to you all.

    Hugs to my mates, old and new, you know who you are....;)

    SA
    2011 - New year, New start, New me
    [STRIKE]Planning on [/STRIKE] making my dreams a reality
  • Lensman_2
    Lensman_2 Posts: 1,506 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    That's a smashing post SA. Thanks.

    I have been getting myself out and walking again after years of self imposed isolation. (I found out how unfit I am too...) And being a member of a rambler's club of one isn't so bad. (£27 is a lot of tenners when you don't have many).

    Although coping with this is a "two steps forward, one step back" thing, I am aiming for my average state to be a little bit better today than it was yesterday. And tomorrow to be a little bit better again. Those little bits soon start adding up.

    So, here's to lots of little bits. And no more car shocks.

    Jim
  • startagain_2
    startagain_2 Posts: 2,135 Forumite
    Hi Jim,

    I think many of us recognise "self-imposed isolation" - it is how a lot of people choose to rest and recover... like a wounded animal. There does come a time though when it becomes a trap and it is vital to get out and about before a person becomes completely cut off. I think you and I have both reached that stage.
    I have also stopped pre judging people - everyone has a right to the way they live and opinions they hold (providing it doesn't hurt or impair others) and just because they may differ from me doesn't mean they are worthless or wrong.
    Even now that I am the other side of 50 I am probably learning more now than I have ever done.
    Have a good (rainy) day....
    SA
    2011 - New year, New start, New me
    [STRIKE]Planning on [/STRIKE] making my dreams a reality
  • startagain_2
    startagain_2 Posts: 2,135 Forumite
    Good Morning everyone,

    I don't post too much anymore, just a little lurk now and again but I did want to update my diary and bring it up to the present day.

    I am now almost 5 months into my BR and life has become a lot easier. I hadn't realise just how much debts were taking over my whole way of being..... both mental and physical. Because I don't have the endless worries of how to rob Peter to pay Paul I have a clear mind to get on with other stuff.

    I have taken some pretty drastic steps and have cut off from my previous life and ties (which were a large part of the reasons for my debt) and tried to start building a new life, not that easy for a single middle aged female.

    Al my bills are paid and up to date now.....
    I have joined a social club and get out and about a bit more....
    I work less hours and usually get home at teatime rather than the middle of the night!
    I am hopeful of a move to larger yet cheaper acommodation in the coming months. My HA have undertaken to find me somewhere a.s.a.p.

    So it is all positive, there are still dark days but less and less.... I still have regular sessions with my psychologist. I am proud of the way I have tackled it all (on my own). My family still don't know and I don't intend telling them. My support has come from this forum.

    Lastly, in the post yesterday, a letter from the OR and an IPO form - they are considering ED......... :j Oh, how the contents of my post have changed from 6 months ago!

    Best wishes everyone and hugs to my buddies.....

    SA ;)
    2011 - New year, New start, New me
    [STRIKE]Planning on [/STRIKE] making my dreams a reality
  • nervousmother
    nervousmother Posts: 2,885 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Good luck SA, I am so happy things are turning around for you, you sound so positive now and sound like you have your life in order.
    I truly hope you have a successfull and stress free future!
    x
  • philnicandamy
    philnicandamy Posts: 15,685 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Fingers crossed SA.....blimey....5mnths where's that time gone!

    (its good to hear the new you...well done)
    We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will
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