Possible dilemma over paternity of unborn baby

monicaj

cheepskate wrote: »

Sorry i have got to disagree with this big time.

What you are advocating is let the dad bond with baby and vice-versa and if which is a high probabilty

8/10/15 years down the line you would expect to wreck the mans and babys life, how shocking, that people can work this way.

I dont think there is a best way kjto do it. but paternity has to be sorted asap.

I totally agree - please take a look at my thread Negative Paternity Test. She should take responsibility for her actions regardless of the circumstances and make sure there is NO doubt about paternity of the child. Believe me - it could very well come back and haunt the poor child and father one day.

whothrewthat_2

There's an old saying: least said, soonest mended. So long as she stays with her long-term boyfriend, and he plays the role of father in the baby's life, she should keep quiet. Only if the break up again, and he is faced with paying child support, should she mention her doubts so that the right man ends up paying.

I cannot believe this suggestion, totally outrageous! :mad:

Who benefits from this? only the mother because she gets to keep the secret, but it will be the baby and the dad who will suffer because truth will ultimately out, always does. It may also eat away at the mother who will look at the child and wonder everytime he/she calls the man 'daddy'.

I would suggest she faces up to the truth and tells the boyfriend however hard it may be. The child has a right to bond with their real parent.

McKneff

I was amazed to hear that a scan can pinpoint conception to the day.
If she is sure about when the deed happened ask for a scan as soon as possible and at least should ease her mind one way or another.
I believe that there is also an over the counter tester that can also do this

Mojisola

anniehanlon wrote: »

I was amazed to hear that a scan can pinpoint conception to the day.

Even if the scan can say for sure which day conception took place, it might not help. Sperm can live inside the body for days. Conception with one man's sperm could have happened on a day when intercourse with the other took place.

ladypinkof66

Mojisola wrote: »

Even if the scan can say for sure which day conception took place, it might not help. Sperm can live inside the body for days. Conception with one man's sperm could have happened on a day when intercourse with the other took place.

I agree with this I got pregnant and I had only had sex 6 days before ovulation, so the sperm had been alive for 6 days inside me.

tiamai_d

anniehanlon wrote: »

I was amazed to hear that a scan can pinpoint conception to the day.
If she is sure about when the deed happened ask for a scan as soon as possible and at least should ease her mind one way or another.
I believe that there is also an over the counter tester that can also do this

A scan can't pinpoint conception to the day, there is always a 1-2 day variation (simply due to the nature of reproduction). But it can still help identify which man is the most likely father, especially as there were 5 days between partners.

A doctor can explain it much better than I can obviously.

simpywimpy

If on baby's arrival the father is named on the birth certificate, he doesnt need the mothers permission as he has parental responsibil

whitewing

I feel quite sad for Gwen's friend. I could not imagine bringing up a baby (whoever the father was) with a man that I couldn't be completely honest with.

Whatever I do, and whatever mistakes I make, I know that I can go to my husband and he will make me feel better. (He may also be livid for a while, but he loves me). I cannot imagine settling for any less.

So to me, paternity is something I would want to know, of course. But I would have to take the issue to the man I wanted to spend my life with, and trust that it would work out somehow. I absolutely would rather be on my own otherwise.

gorgeous_gwen

Thanks for all the responses. We've been talking about it again today. I should say that she is too far gone for a dating scan (if I have interpreted correctly people suggesting a scan?) as she is about 30 weeks now. I did ask whether this was something that had been worrying her since she found out she was pregnant...

It seems at first she never thought anything about the other person being the father, as despite her boyfriend and her being on and off, they had continued to sleep together regularly throughout, and she slept with the other person once only, about 5 days after ovulation 'probably' happened, not sure if this makes any difference though.

I should also say that she doesn't want to live with not knowing the truth, and wants to be clear about who the father is, although she has said (hope I'm explaining this clearly!) that she wouldn't confess about the other man unless he did turn out to be the father, which is her business but I understand.

So in a nutshell she does want to pursue finding out who the father is, but would rather not concern her boyfriend unless absolutely necessary, by ways of a DNA test from the other person. Again, not something I know much about (apart from watching Jeremy Kyle!) so need to find out about that.

ginvzt

Sorry, but I think the egg can survive only 24-48 hours, so if she slept with someone 5 days after ovulation, it is very unlikely that person could be the father. Of course, there is also a possibility of ovulating late...