Does private schooling help to get a nice career?

Aspiring

poet123 wrote: »

Sorry,but manners are taught at home,by the time they get to school the basics should be there. Similarly,the (state)schools and (private)schools my kids attended were equally hot on using manners,manners which we insist upon at home too. So whilst the school has a part to play,I don't believe any parent can/should, blame a school for that aspect.

You beat me to it - manners, IMO, are most definately something which are taught in the home environment.

Aspiring

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

- - - - - When he got to Uni he didn't know how to work and dropped out after 2 years. He now works in Mc D's.

Heard they can get degree's at McD's now.

shirlgirl2004

poet123 wrote: »

Sorry,but manners are taught at home,by the time they get to school the basics should be there. Similarly,the (state)schools and (private)schools my kids attended were equally hot on using manners,manners which we insist upon at home too. So whilst the school has a part to play,I don't believe any parent can/should, blame a school for that aspect.

No I disagree. My children all know their manners and grammar come to that and state schools do not insist on it. The state schools my sons attended are very good schools (come high in The Times top 100 every year) and are massively oversubscribed. In state schools teachers spend time on crowd control that they don't have to do in private schools. It wasn't that my children stopped using good manners rather that they were witnessing appalling behaviour/manners.

I have worked in lots of state schools (primary and secondary) and there is only one (Sacred Heart High) where I found the children to be polite all the time they were within my ear shot. Mind you I didn't spend too much time there so maybe that was why I didn't witness anything bad.

Aspiring

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

No I disagree. My children all know their manners and grammar come to that and state schools do not insist on it. The state schools my sons attended are very good schools (come high in The Times top 100 every year) and are massively oversubscribed. In state schools teachers spend time on crowd control that they don't have to do in private schools. It wasn't that my children stopped using good manners rather that they were witnessing appalling behaviour/manners.

I have worked in lots of state schools (primary and secondary) and there is only one (Sacred Heart High) where I found the children to be polite all the time they were within my ear shot. Mind you I didn't spend too much time there so maybe that was why I didn't witness anything bad.

Growing up, good manners were instilled in me as a normal way of life in our home.
I went to school. Agreed, not everyone had the same level, or standard, of manners as we had.
Teen years: pushed the boundaries (normal), dropped the "good manners" to fit in with chosen peer group; even adopted a few choice words to pepper our conversations (although never in front of my mother )
Grew up: natural habits die hard and the manners of my childhood slipped naturally back into my speech/way of doing things.

I bring up my own children to be well mannered. I have no illusions that when they are in the pack dynamics of their teen peers they drop certain standards and adopt a few unsavoury ones. I do know, from personal experience, that once the teen/pack years fall behind, they return to their base values. Why? Because manners come under core family values and not academic education.

poet123

That has not been my experience,in either the primary or Secondary school which my kids attended. I am a Governor at the Primary,and without exception whenever we take the kids out on a trip we are always complimented on their behaviour,and attitude. Similary,at the secondary school,manners are insisted upon,and punishment given for non compliance.

The schools are faith schools though,and in my experience (of both sectors)such schools score highly in this area,but they are underpinning family attitudes,not teaching manners.

shirlgirl2004

poet123 wrote: »

That has not been my experience,in either the primary or Secondary school which my kids attended. I am a Governor at the Primary,and without exception whenever we take the kids out on a trip we are always complimented on their behaviour,and attitude. Similary,at the secondary school,manners are insisted upon,and punishment given for non compliance.

The schools are faith schools though,and in my experience (of both sectors)such schools score highly in this area,but they are underpinning family attitudes,not teaching manners.

Yes my son's schools were faith schools and I have worked in faith and non faith schools. Maybe your standards are different to mine I know mine are particularly high but I'm not prepared to lower them. The area I live has schools above the national average statistically and mone sons attended the best in the area but it doesn't make a jot of difference. To be fair you haven't actually worked in the school so you don't know what goes on day to day.

shirlgirl2004

Aspiring wrote: »

Heard they can get degree's at McD's now.

He's a management trainee but it still isn't what I'd call an achievement.

mcspanna

One of my parents was privately educated, the other state grammar. My brother and I went to the local comprehensive which wasn't terribly good (don't know about the league tables but my year only achieved about 25% c and above in GCSEs)

We both chose the local sixth form college over an offer of private further education and then both went on to uni (one red brick, the other 'new' university).

We both have successful careers and ironically seem to be much happier (and each earning significantly more) than childhood friends who are similar ages and had the 'best' education money could buy.

If and when I have children, I shall be choosing where to live based on the house/area more than local schools and wouldn't entertain the idea of paying for their education when the state provides it already (very MSE!). I think there is a lot to be said for investing in a child's cultural capital rather than investing capital in a private education.

shirlgirl2004

Aspiring wrote: »

Growing up, good manners were instilled in me as a normal way of life in our home.
I went to school. Agreed, not everyone had the same level, or standard, of manners as we had.
Teen years: pushed the boundaries (normal), dropped the "good manners" to fit in with chosen peer group; even adopted a few choice words to pepper our conversations (although never in front of my mother )
Grew up: natural habits die hard and the manners of my childhood slipped naturally back into my speech/way of doing things.

I bring up my own children to be well mannered. I have no illusions that when they are in the pack dynamics of their teen peers they drop certain standards and adopt a few unsavoury ones. I do know, from personal experience, that once the teen/pack years fall behind, they return to their base values. Why? Because manners come under core family values and not academic education.

My DSs have never sworn or been unsavoury in front of me but I know that they've seen that sort of behaviour and no doubt indulged in it. I think that is normal once children reach their teens unfortunately this sort of behaviour is common in state schools.

The parent who has just moved her child from a state school said she was sick of the fighting in the school. This is a faith school which is massively oversubscribed and which you would expect to have better standards. I know better though.

Aspiring

shirgirl - can we just clarify, when you speak about "state schools" do you mean ALL (as in from 4 - 17yr old)?