Does private schooling help to get a nice career?

3plus1

I don't think private school is necessarily essential for success - but I do know my life would have turned out differently if I'd gone to the local state school.

At private school, I was able to study the languages I loved - French, German, Italian and even a bit of Latin. I wouldn't have been able to study them at the local state school - and I certainly wouldn't have been able to take half of them as 'crash' subjects. Having the academic freedom to explore the subjects I wanted to encouraged me to study modern languages at university. Oh, I would have gone to university regardless of which secondary school I went to, but I'd have done a different degree and I don't know what I'd have ended up doing with my life.

The languages degree meant I had to live abroad, which toughened me up a lot in some ways. I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't had that experience. (I was the quiet shy child who needed that sort of experience.)

Studying subjects I liked meant I left school with straight As. That got me into university and more importantly, opened doors for me as a graduate looking for a full time job. Employers judge you on your degree - but also on how well you did at school.

If I'd gone to the local state school, I wouldn't have done the Duke of Edinburgh Award and gone up mountains - I was a fat, lazy kid who hated sport. I did the Award to challenge myself and I wouldn't have come up with the idea on my own. Private schools push extracurricular opportunities down your throat - state schools don't. If you are a fat, lazy kid, sometimes you need someone to push you!

My sister went to the local state school and she didn't have the same opportunities as me. (She's a fair bit older than me, so I had the benefit of our parents' hindsight.) I think all of us regret that I had a better start in life. She's such an intelligent girl, but because the quality of her tuition was worse, she didn't get as good grades as me and she will one day die still thinking I'm cleverer than her. It's not true. It's just that my school coached me to get As and hers didn't bother. It upsets me that something so trivial as going to a different school has had that impact on her confidence.

For the record, I'm now working as a trainee accountant for a Big 4 firm. Assuming I don't get made redundant because of the recession, it's not a bad career to have. Friends of mine from the same secondary school are junior doctors, engineers and PhD students. They've done well for themselves.

However, I can also give you examples of other people who went to the same school as us who have NMW jobs or who are currently unemployed.

Private school can help tip the balance for some people - but it can equally have no effect whatsoever for many. Some people are destined to chase ambitious careers, others are destined to do nothing and some could go either way, depending on how much encouragement they get and how lucky they are.

The big problem is, by the time you figure out which of those categories a child slots into, they'll have long left school and it'll be too late to decide if private school will do a thing for them or not.

xycom1

leiela wrote: »

Money isn't everything.

When you've got shitloads of it.

Loving your job doesn't pay the bills... :rolleyes:

Voyager2002

On average, people do well in life if they come from families that are relatively privileged. And most of the people who attended fee-paying schools come from this kind of background.

However, this does not mean that a family able to afford school fees would necessarily give their child an advantage by having them privately educated: most of the advantage comes from being born into a family that could afford private education.

shoopi

My confidence was badly affected by being bullied in private school. My parents travelled because of their work and up to the age of 10 I travelled with them and was a fairly confident child. Then I was sent to a private boarding school and everything changed. My so-called career has been a bit of a disaster and although I take responsibility for it, I do believe things might have been different had I not spent my formative years in that school. I would certainly never send my children to boarding school. My sister had a similar experience. Her children are now doing extremely well (and are growing up happy and confident) in a small village school.

poet123

3plus1 wrote: »

I don't think private school is necessarily essential for success - but I do know my life would have turned out differently if I'd gone to the local state school.

At private school, I was able to study the languages I loved - French, German, Italian and even a bit of Latin. I wouldn't have been able to study them at the local state school - and I certainly wouldn't have been able to take half of them as 'crash' subjects. Having the academic freedom to explore the subjects I wanted to encouraged me to study modern languages at university. Oh, I would have gone to university regardless of which secondary school I went to, but I'd have done a different degree and I don't know what I'd have ended up doing with my life.

The languages degree meant I had to live abroad, which toughened me up a lot in some ways. I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't had that experience. (I was the quiet shy child who needed that sort of experience.)

Studying subjects I liked meant I left school with straight As. That got me into university and more importantly, opened doors for me as a graduate looking for a full time job. Employers judge you on your degree - but also on how well you did at school.

If I'd gone to the local state school, I wouldn't have done the Duke of Edinburgh Award and gone up mountains - I was a fat, lazy kid who hated sport. I did the Award to challenge myself and I wouldn't have come up with the idea on my own. Private schools push extracurricular opportunities down your throat - state schools don't. If you are a fat, lazy kid, sometimes you need someone to push you!

My sister went to the local state school and she didn't have the same opportunities as me. (She's a fair bit older than me, so I had the benefit of our parents' hindsight.) I think all of us regret that I had a better start in life. She's such an intelligent girl, but because the quality of her tuition was worse, she didn't get as good grades as me and she will one day die still thinking I'm cleverer than her. It's not true. It's just that my school coached me to get As and hers didn't bother. It upsets me that something so trivial as going to a different school has had that impact on her confidence.

For the record, I'm now working as a trainee accountant for a Big 4 firm. Assuming I don't get made redundant because of the recession, it's not a bad career to have. Friends of mine from the same secondary school are junior doctors, engineers and PhD students. They've done well for themselves.

However, I can also give you examples of other people who went to the same school as us who have NMW jobs or who are currently unemployed.

Private school can help tip the balance for some people - but it can equally have no effect whatsoever for many. Some people are destined to chase ambitious careers, others are destined to do nothing and some could go either way, depending on how much encouragement they get and how lucky they are.

The big problem is, by the time you figure out which of those categories a child slots into, they'll have long left school and it'll be too late to decide if private school will do a thing for them or not.

I have to disagree here. I went to a state Grammar school and did D of E up to gold level,and so have my kids(the ones who were in state education)so the extra curricular activity is out there in the state sector.

bonnie_2

I went to a private school and have only ever done cleaning jobs and been a sahm, sister went to state school and is a uni lecturer.

blackcoffee

shoopi wrote: »

My confidence was badly affected by being bullied in private school. My parents travelled because of their work and up to the age of 10 I travelled with them and was a fairly confident child. Then I was sent to a private boarding school and everything changed. My so-called career has been a bit of a disaster and although I take responsibility for it, I do believe things might have been different had I not spent my formative years in that school. I would certainly never send my children to boarding school. My sister had a similar experience. Her children are now doing extremely well (and are growing up happy and confident) in a small village school.

You cant send any child to boarding school, only the right child will thrive. your parents prob had no choice, they were moving around and you needed a stable education. My friends husband (now a GP) was bullied, hated his time away (he went from 8) but his parents never stayed anywhere longer than 10 months, he just put his head down and studied hard. My husband was in the same position as you, at 11 he went to boarding school. He thrived, was very sporty and grabbed every opportunity given, his career now is definatly down to that education. I agree, that your career is your responsibilty. It so sad that you had such a hateful schooling.

My father was bullied constantly at boarding school, he ran away and was sent back every time. He the same as you, swore he would never send a child of his to boarding school, however sent me to private day school, when he realised what the options were. I hated it, it wasnt bulling, i just hated the establishment of an all girls school.

our children will be going down the private route from 11, still undecided if we will use the boarding option !

tinkerbell84

I'm a recruiter/headhunter - private school rarely gets someone anywhere that someone who went to state school could get.

OH and I earn 6 figures and neither of us went to private school. I didn't even go to university!

oystercatcher

shoopi wrote: »

My confidence was badly affected by being bullied in private school. My parents travelled because of their work and up to the age of 10 I travelled with them and was a fairly confident child. Then I was sent to a private boarding school and everything changed. My so-called career has been a bit of a disaster and although I take responsibility for it, I do believe things might have been different had I not spent my formative years in that school. I would certainly never send my children to boarding school. My sister had a similar experience. Her children are now doing extremely well (and are growing up happy and confident) in a small village school.

My husband went to boarding school and was physically and sexually assaulted by other boys there. He spent months in hospital having surgery and nearly died. His confidence is vastly affected by this experience even thirty odd years down the line.

A friend of mine spent a small fortune sending her two children to boarding school. They both achieved very low grade A-levels, declined to go to university and have low paid jobs.

Another friend and her husband both went to private school, they both have few academic qualifications and low paid jobs, however they live in a huge house paid for by both their affluent families, they can barely afford to run the place though!

Meanwhile my brother and I went to a state comprehensive, my brother went to Oxford Uni and is now a head teacher.
I went to uni but dropped out mainly due to low motivation.

My boys attend the local state comprehensive, Middle son is predicted to achieve a grade A in the further maths someone mentioned as not available in state schools. Duke of Edinburgh award is available for those who wish to do this. Youngest son is very musical .

What I'm trying to say is that schools vary and people vary. There are some excellent state schools around and motivated children will achieve well in them. Some children won't achieve well whatever either due to intellect or motivation.

If I had the means to pay for schooling then I would only pay if the local schools didn't provide what I felt my child needed. It's easy enough to pay for private music, swimming or whatever lessons out of school. D of E award can be achieved through other organisatons as well as school. I did mine through guides, one of my boys does his through the Air Cadets.

I must admit, when it came to a house move when eldest child was 10 I chose the area very carefully to avoid him being admitted to a local failing school which has since been closed down. I was downsizing due to divorce but chose a significantly smaller house near a better school and I don't regret it, even though we are very cramped here.

Sorry for woffling

Oystercatcher

hellyboo_2

I didn't go to private school and I'm a GP. I love my job!
My brother went to the same school and is a Head Rugby coach - he loves his job too!

I guess it depends on what you want to do. It was a grammar school though so we were pushed harder than alot of schools. My daughters are going to go to private school as we don't have any grammar schools here.

Many of my doctor friends did not go to private school but I guess the majority in my year did.