My Soa Not Pretty Reading!

System

Fire_Fox wrote: »

Time for the broken record technique. Whatever (and I mean whatever) your wife says about these weddings, you repeat the same sentence, e.g. "we didn't even have enough money to buy food last week/ month. I want a better life for my family."

One of my favourite sayings comes to mind ... Always do what you have always done, always get what you have always got. I don't mean that to be harsh, I see it as positive: there is always something you can change if you aren't happy with how things are. You already know what you want to change (course, business, holiday) so make it happen.

One of mine being, "The definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results" Albert Einstein

Na I think it is beginning to sink in a bit with her.

paybacktime2008

Stopping the daily paper would pay for a 3 day caravan holiday. (35p x 7 = 2.45....2.45 x52 = £127.40) Your choice. I know what I choose. Good Luck.

System

Does anyone know anything about getting out of broadband contracts? I phoned about ours, its not up until 22nd March next year, we got an 18 month deal with BT in that we got 6 months free. But still, its to expensive, I know of 1 way of getting out, that being switch to BT business broadband, keep it for a month and then cancel, but not sure if I should do it or not?

theoretica

I have just read this thread and have a few thoughts

You say you are earning £5.65 an hour- is this true? The minimum wage is £5.73 at the moment (in NI too). The difference is £150 a year and should be backdated.

How much are you spending on newspapers? There is plenty of news, and chat too, online. If you are paying for broadband make it work for you. You need to make every penny count!

If you live and work in remote villages why are you spending anything at all on car parking? It can almost always be evaded by walking a bit further.

As for the car- you can't really afford a chauffeur!

Presents are never compulsory, neither for weddings, nor for the kids. Spend the time choosing or making something unique rather than the money.

System

Oh my head is fried.

Wedding number 2 has now came into play. My Mrs has been invited on the hen night to Newcastle which involves a plane trip at £50 return not to mention the hotel oh and of course she has to go!! She can't say no to anything, And of course I am the big bad wolf out to spoil the fun!! I just do not know how to get through to her, I am starting to think I might be better elsewhere as there really is nothing I can do or say. I don't mind her doing these things if she can afford it, but the way we work is we all pay certain bills, for example I pay the electric and phone, she pays TV lisence and mobile, She will not pay her half, I'll have to pay it which screws something I pay if you know what I mean. Grrrr

System

theoretica wrote: »

I have just read this thread and have a few thoughts

You say you are earning £5.65 an hour- is this true? The minimum wage is £5.73 at the moment (in NI too). The difference is £150 a year and should be backdated.

How much are you spending on newspapers? There is plenty of news, and chat too, online. If you are paying for broadband make it work for you. You need to make every penny count!

If you live and work in remote villages why are you spending anything at all on car parking? It can almost always be evaded by walking a bit further.

As for the car- you can't really afford a chauffeur!

Presents are never compulsory, neither for weddings, nor for the kids. Spend the time choosing or making something unique rather than the money.

Just checked my last payslip £5.75 it is I get.

As for the car its an easy target I know, but its hard enough to get up at 5am to be in work for 6am, thats with a car, To walk 10 mile I'd need to getting up at 4am for a 10 mile walk in the dark. I would look well, car is needed out here in the back of beyond, how do we get the kids to school, how does the mrs get to work, how do we get into get the shopping etc. I appreciate all this is possible in the city but not out here.

[Deleted User]

nirelandguy wrote: »

I just do not know how to get through to her, I am starting to think I might be better elsewhere as there really is nothing I can do or say.

Show her this thread and all of your posts??? Really sorry to hear you are still having all these problems, but to be honest, she is not supporting you in trying to get out of debt - I really hope she gets the message soon, it's not fair on you. :mad:

RAS

nirelandguy wrote: »

Just checked my last payslip £5.75 it is I get.

As for the car its an easy target I know, but its hard enough to get up at 5am to be in work for 6am, thats with a car, To walk 10 mile I'd need to getting up at 4am for a 10 mile walk in the dark. I would look well, car is needed out here in the back of beyond, how do we get the kids to school, how does the mrs get to work, how do we get into get the shopping etc. I appreciate all this is possible in the city but not out here.

Hi

I think anyone who has been around your threads for a while will realise that you do need a car, sadly. What you probably did not need was a car on finance. However that is done and cannot be undone easily.

With respect to the rest, you are stuck in abenfits traps and your OH has eventually to understand that if she wants to work, she has to pay her way. It is not my money, his money and her money. It is "we can afford nothing but the basics money".

She is making it very hard and basicaly I think you need to tell her either she wises up pronto or you will have to think about this relationship. You soimply cannot carry on twith this for another decade. You deserve more, and maybe she does as well, but as long as she refuses to tackle your joint debts, you hhave no chance.

And no I do not want you giving up your broadband, as it seems to me that is the only chance you have to talk to people who think about you and yours rather than about the next dress.

Sorry, rant over.

Hugs (Yep I know iccky but think you need one at the mo.)

System

I suppose it makes me feel like a bit of a failure, Like i'm not able to provide or let her do the things she want to do.

As I think I mentioned before, we are the only couple we know in this type of situation, meaning everyone else has at least one good wage earner, we are both earning rubbish, and because her relatives/friends are going where ever doing what ever she feels she should be able to, can't really blame her for that I suppose. I don't know if any of yous watched the programme on CH4 last night about the millionaire giving money to the poor, that made me realise how well of I actually am, I have a home, furniture, car so its not all bad.

I have made a wee bit of progress, I sold my laptop for £250 on ebay and spent £45 on another computer, it was a bit of a bargain as its almost as powerful as the laptop I'm selling, I already have a monitor etc up in the loft, I am still deciding what to do with the £200, Do I pay something off? Or do I put it in the credit union? I'm liking the idea of the credit union as £200 is a good start

RAS

nirelandguy wrote: »

I suppose it makes me feel like a bit of a failure, Like i'm not able to provide or let her do the things she want to do.

Ninrelnadguy

It is NOT your responsibility to provide her with the things she wants. You are a decent blok trying very hard to do the best in difficult circumstances and I take my hat off to you for having so much patience.

if you are a partnership, it is incumbent on both of you to do you best to kepp the roof over your heads and kids looked after, rahter than buying more stuff.

Well done on the computer swap. With credit unions you get a better reaction from them if you put say a small sum in and then add more each month, so could you put say £50 in and then another £30 for the next few months?

But do check with Payplan first as to whether they will agree to you taking out extra credit, even with a credit union? Or would they allow you to take out credit with the Credit union to F&F on one of your more expensive but smallish debts?