The Thrifty Gifty Girls 2009 (Organised & Money Neutral for All Occasions) #3

mhagster

Paddington:not sure if it's just me but your links aren't connecting!

But nosey me has had a look at all the blogs.....I really do think I'll have one when I'm 40!
But I'm still 39 and have to much to do......like washing, ironing, hoovering...blah,blah!

RustyFlange

Mhagster for some reason it is putting in 2 lots of http.

Link to said jigsaw is here

and link to the lovely blog is : Padingtondoo's Marmalade Mutterings.

Shelley3774

Thanks for your kind words Orchid 96 and Skiergirl it is a very difficult time for our family at the mo but the vet confirmed this evening that we are doing the right thing for her and that made us feel slightly less guilty. I took Lola my sharpei for a very long walk tonight to blow away some cobwebs and felt much better - its usually my hubby that walks her but I need the exercise. Poor Abbie the dalmation has athritis so i haven't been able to take her for a walk for a long time

I made up 2 2 tiers this evening that have been ordered but I'm running really low on stock at mo

Hayley11 - hope you have a lovely meal tonight i know what you mean about feeling down some days. I have suffered with depression and felt like crawling under my quilt and not surfacing again :eek::eek: Fortunately I am over the worst now but some days I can be very tearful too x

Sorry girls I dont do any squeezing so I haven't got a clue what you are on about:rotfl:

paddingtondoo

Thanks rusty - I had too many https - have edited them both now.

Hugs shelley

RustyFlange

I have a bit of a predicament which is really starting to bug me. I wondered if you ladies could offer any help.

OH's mum is a pain (his real mum) basically they hadn't spoken for years, not 100% sure of the situation as he trys not to talk about her but I know it stems back to when she left his dad and then also things happened when OH was married to his ex. Anyway I had my daughter, he eventually told his mum that he was a granny, she was over the moon and loved both children and said it was my sons choice if he called her granny aswell (which he does) she gave us champagne and a cheque for £100 when DD was born and she met her. I am grateful for that, then came DS's 5th birthday, she bought him a lot of little pressies which I wasn't expecting but he loved them (mainly bob the builder which he had asked for) then she preduced a next bag with loads of next clothes for DD (for no reason but she couldn't leave DD out (fair enough) but there was well over £100 worth of clothes there and there was approx £30 of presents for my son. again I wasn't bothered by this but I was feeling strange as to why spend so much on clothes for DD if you know what I mean. .... Christmas pressies for both of them .... (colouring books and cheap stuff for my son) and lavish expensive pressies for my daughter) which annoyed me a bit .... OH's birthday (£10 in a card she is skint) then DD's 1st birthday (lavish pressies, expensive clothes etc) and she got some cheap tat for son so she didn't leave him out. (fair comment as he appreciated it and so did I for the 5 mins it lasted til there were tears when it broke) Anway ... DS's 6th birthday ... came and went, no card, no phone call nothing .... couple of months after she turns up on the doorstep unannounced first thing DS says is granny sheila you have missed my birthday! she just said oh dear and changed the subject there was no asking how it went or saying sorry or anything. I felt quite sorry for my son so made a big deal about the tooth fairy coming ... (as us mums do) then came christmas ... she turns up with a couple of pressies for the kids and a couple of tshirts for OH ... comments were by god you are fat now (to OH) your tshirts won't fit you will have to loose weight!) .... Then OH's birthday in Jan ... I made a point of commenting on her facebook status about him being old the next day ... she called and wished him happy birthday and said she had a card for him ... apparently she would drop it round (Still no card!) now with mothers day coming up on sunday I am wondering if I should bother, I have mentioned it to OH and he steers round the subject ... I know she will have a suprise in store in May if she turns up on DD's 2nd birthday with lavish gifts as I will turn her away as I am not having her treat the children different and feel it is unfair that she misses out on ones birthday but then spends a fortune on the others (Am I being unreasonable??)

So basically the question is do I bother with the mothers day pressies for her? it will only be a frame and a journal (she will probably hate both) as we are skint. But without getting some sense out of OH as to what to do I am struggling and working myself up

any suggestions?

jamtart6

i'd be inclined to buy something cheap or make something (dont spend too much time on it) just to keep the peace. Sometimes its just easier to do that than cause friction. I agree with not treating your kids differently, if she is skint then she should spend spend £5 on DD and £5 on DS - I'm sure you wouldn't mind that?? from what i can gather you are irked that she spends £5 on DS and £100 on DD? i can understand that completely. I always just think its easier to keep the peace hope that helps rust, horrible situation though xx

RustyFlange

jamtart6 wrote: »

i'd be inclined to buy something cheap or make something (dont spend too much time on it) just to keep the peace. Sometimes its just easier to do that than cause friction. I agree with not treating your kids differently, if she is skint then she should spend spend £5 on DD and £5 on DS - I'm sure you wouldn't mind that?? from what i can gather you are irked that she spends £5 on DS and £100 on DD? i can understand that completely. I always just think its easier to keep the peace hope that helps rust, horrible situation though xx

Thanks Jammy, I might just do the frame and leave it at that. (very cheap but still something) I wouldn't mind what she spent on them, to me if she didn't spend anything on them I wouldn't mind as long as she acknowledged their birthdays etc. I don't think it is right that she spends more on one and not the other but then I guess blood is thicker than water and I think deep down I always knew she wasn't impressed that I already had another child :rotfl: she must think of me as a slapper or something :rotfl: but like I say I would appreciate the thought of a phone call more than a pressie that cost hundreds etc. I am not gift orientated but things like that do annoy me (you can probably tell.)

jamtart6

yep totally, i knew you meant "i would prefer her to notice both kids birthdays" rather than "i want a present!" im just cack with words! i bet she does not think of you like that at all! my friends missis had another kid (before their joint kid) and his mum n dad treated both kids as equals, until they broke up when only their granddaughter gets a fortune spent on her and the 'other' child gets a token present (only cos my mates ex-missis won't let her bring anything home from the step-grandparents) awkward situation and i always feel sorry for the kids

RustyFlange

jamtart6 wrote: »

yep totally, i knew you meant "i would prefer her to notice both kids birthdays" rather than "i want a present!" im just cack with words! i bet she does not think of you like that at all! my friends missis had another kid (before their joint kid) and his mum n dad treated both kids as equals, until they broke up when only their granddaughter gets a fortune spent on her and the 'other' child gets a token present (only cos my mates ex-missis won't let her bring anything home from the step-grandparents) awkward situation and i always feel sorry for the kids

See I feel sorry for the kids aswell, it is awful, I have been very lucky as FIL and MIL (OH's stepmum) treat them both like their own! they have done from day one and my son gets away with murder with his nana ... I tell him no so he asks nana! ... However when DS goes to his real dads he comes home with stacks of sweets :rolleyes: (he rarely eats sweets and chocky, not because I don't let him but because he isn't interested!) these are always shared out between the 2 children no matter what. I know his real dad only does it to annoy me :rotfl: so I make sure he knows who ate what and thank him for the sweets for the children :rotfl:

Marg

Hiya Rusty
I think much the same as jamtart6 - overall it's better (& often easier) to grit your teeth & just keep the peace. Give a small token to Granny. That way, no one can ever accuse you of not doing your bit. I know I'd be fuming if my kids had been treated as she's done yours but there are much bigger things to worry about in the world than one inconsistent Mum/Granny. (sounds as if OH might have had some of the same inconsistency with her before?)

I've only just started on this thread & it seems you all like a funny.....
I am the eldest of 4 kids who had to share everything equally as £ was in short supply. Equality was all. I was once out for tea with 2 of my brothers. I am the eldest (less than 7 years old at the time) & my auntie asked me if she had put out a suitable portion of mandarin oranges for each of us & apparently I said "No, I'll have one out of there & two out of there"

Another equal story.....

One of Mum & Dads rules was, if something, say cake had to be divided between us they didn't do it 'One (of us kids) would cut & the other would have first choice' - the system worked - to this day I can still cut a banana in half to the nearest mm!

Sorry to ramble on so, hope you enjoy