Weekly Flylady Thread 16th February 2009

mumofjusttwo

Evening All.

Well I guess i am sort of lucky. Watching about Patrick Swayze and his wife is saying how she regrets not adopting. i am so lucky to have two wonderful children.

Well DS is ready for bed so I am of for now

casleigh

toochoosey- dont be too alarmed over the things your DD is saying, it comes with the territory of hormones. When I went through my hormonal phase (eons ago ) I used to say all sorts when someone requested I do something I didnt want to, everything from my life is over! to You all hate me and I wish I was adopted! I never meant a word of it but it was something dramatic to say at the time which had an effect which is what I was after. Its mostly all about drama and all I personally wanted was a few boundaries and a calm reaction that showed my anger was recognised and I went quiet pretty fast.

Look after you and remember whatever DD says she most likely doesnt mean a word of it and will look back in later years and cringe like I do.

ETA- and even though I didnt show it I did feel bad about what I said. I remember asking my mum very sheepishly at 16 if I was a good person? I wasnt really horrid, just an insecure hormonal wreck. I found although I acted out all I really wanted was to be told I was ok really, I think a lot of teens feel the same because no matter how 'big' they try to be most are screaming with insecurities.

toochoosey

casleigh wrote: »

toochoosey- dont be too alarmed over the things your DD is saying, it comes with the territory of hormones. When I went through my hormonal phase (eons ago ) I used to say all sorts when someone requested I do something I didnt want to, everything from my life is over! to You all hate me and I wish I was adopted! I never meant a word of it but it was something dramatic to say at the time which had an effect which is what I was after. Its mostly all about drama and all I personally wanted was a few boundaries and a calm reaction that showed my anger was recognised and I went quiet pretty fast.

Look after you and remember whatever DD says she most likely doesnt mean a word of it and will look back in later years and cringe like I do.

ETA- and even though I didnt show it I did feel bad about what I said. I remember asking my mum very sheepishly at 16 if I was a good person? I wasnt really horrid, just an insecure hormonal wreck. I found although I acted out all I really wanted was to be told I was ok really, I think a lot of teens feel the same because no matter how 'big' they try to be most are screaming with insecurities.

Thank you and I understand what you are saying and I would expect it from a teen but 6yo?

mumofjusttwo

toochosey-my DS favourite is "mummy i don't love you anymore". Unfortunately my DD copies him .


It does make me wonder what he will be like with hormones :eek:

casleigh

toochoosey- hate to say it but I was probably worse at 6.
I had a nice line in yelling Im going to kill myself and hitting myself over the head with toys at that age much to my family's horror. I was taken to the docs for it and they actually said it was hormonal and my periods started at 9 so I think they were probably right. A lot of the drama I did pick up from school, I copied my friends for the most part.
Again I didnt mean any of it, it was just something else to come out with and I didnt really consider what the words actually meant or the consequences of hitting myself with toys. Plus it stopped my parents dead in their tracks when telling me off so it encouraged me to carry on. I think I would stopped a lot sooner if they had just carried on enforcing that I had to do something rather than giving in to me.

I wasnt really a nightmare child, honestly :rotfl:

mummyyof5

If I stop my Lo from doing something he shouldnt be he says "Naughty mummy" hes only just 2, I have to stop myself from laughing as the way he says it is just sooo cute.

toochoosey

Thank you all for the advice and support, I will stop beating myself up about it and get on with it..............
internet gone again............................gggggggrrrrrr
ooohh, think its back.....

toottifrootti

toochoosey wrote: »

Good evening all, OH has said DD cannot go to the cinema tomorrow, due to what she did to the bed. Don't know what to do with her, her behaviour is getting worse-she has the attitude of a sulky 16 YO and I am at the end of a very short rope at the mo. She had a row for saying something yesterday and when I told her to apologise she said her life is over!!!!!! Don;t know where she got that from.........
sorry for the rant, haven't done any flying this evening just keep crying- like thats gonna help...sorry

Big(((((hugs))))for MOJT, LL and Carol22

(((hugs))) toochoosey as eveyone knows I have no children so NO REAL EXPERIENCE OF HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM! all I wouls say is sit her down and tell her if she acts like a child then she will be treated like one and if she acts like an adult then she will be rewarded. I am sure its just a 'phase' - try not to get upset in front of her as she will see that she is making an impact - I would suggest that you try to ignore her behaviour in front of her (apart from telling her off of course) and she may well get fed up trying to be so awkward - just my humble opinion and hopefully those parents with children will be able to give you much better advice.
carol yes I thought thats what you might say about your Mum!!!
soappie sorry but I am with the rest -crafty put it rather well! drool drool, covet, covet, envy envy - :rotfl: :rotfl: they are fabulous doors to be sure and I would love them and if it took me a week to clean them I dont think I would mind!!!! the colours look great - I have seen a few in my time but these are lovely!
casleigh you are doing a great job - for your first week you have done amazing - you should be well pleased with yourself! Now these tasks wont seem soo scary the next time I hope.
mudbath - I once suggested you went and spoke to your plants to encourage them to grow and you thought i was trying to make a fool of you - as if!! please note Essexhebridean said -

and the plants (including the geranium on the balcony!) have all been watered and given a few words of loving encouragement.

froddy glad you had a lovely time - and saw pictures of your grandfather - how exciting! Thats something I need to get on my list for later on this year/next year!

ok dragon mumbled at (I am still an'orrible child!!!)
DWemptied and partly refilled
money things sorted for this week
washing on aires turned and dry stuff folded

I am now going to try and put some bits on ebay - I need gentle pushing please - just keep asking reminding me please - as I have decided I need to repay a cousin £150 and could do it if I can make £5 per day! sounds easy but we will see!
toots xx

froddington

All caught up!

pigpen - :T :j :T :j :j :T :j :T

valli - even I didn't actually go and look for that website although I did think about it :rotfl:

hellsbells - hugs; hope you're feeling a bit better

L-L - great to 'see' you back Take it easy

SS - hugs for you and DD3. Re: DD2 - it may well just be a 'sister' thing and not because of DD3 needs. Sibling rivalry and all that!!

crafty - hugs; I can sympathise (although mine is getting better now my arm's healing!)

carol22 - ouch! Take care
funfairprincess - well done to Piper :T Lovely photos and lovely name (it's great to have an unusual name!)

soappie - it was great and brilliant and saw loads and found out loads and .... and ..... and ...... you get the picture Love the front door btw!

toochoosey - hugs! Sounds like a good plan

Errmm - flying ............ I'll go and update my list

leiela

Awww Hugs toochoosey !!!!!!!

If it makes you feel better my 7 old old little boy did the same thing to me the other day. He was kicking and screaming telling me he hated me, i was a bad mummy, he wished i was dead.

All because i'd have trouble getting him old of bed for school, the little horror would get back into bed everytime i went back down stairs. Eventually i told him that if he wasn't up and dressed by the time it was time to go then he was going to school "however he was dressed" and if that ment he went to school in Ben10 PJ's so be it.

Sure enough 8.15 came around he had got dressed but was still messing about and had no shoes on, i warned him 4 times to get them on and he kept messing me about in the end i kicked him out of the house without them. (while sneaking them into my bag of course)

Well they should of heard him as i DRAGGED him the the car shoeless ... kicking and screaming all the nieghbours must have thought i was killing him.

Eventually got him to school... still screaming that i was a evil mummy, he wished i'd drop down dead.. (plus some more colourful language that wont get though the fourm filter) which i was REALLY shocked at, because no-one swears in my house.

Finally got him to school, kicked him out of the car still shoeless... closed the door of the car and went to drive off... he was in buckets of tears still screaming at me. I wound down the window of the car threw his shoes and socks at him and told him that if HE EVER messed me about in the mornings again i was gonna really take him to school however he was dressed.

I know all this sounds very harsh... but it was the last straw, having had him mess me about every morning for as long as i can remeber.. i actually got a warning off work for being last so often last week.

He has forgiven me.. and hasn't mesed me about since, though granted he was only at school for 3 days after that last week haha, just tonight he gave me a big hug and told me i was the best mummy in the world.

Kids say alot of things they don't mean, keep your chin up and don't let it bother you too much.. she was just angry it will all be forgotten soon enough.