Coping with broodiness?

DeeDee74

awww ((hugs)) can't really offer any usefull advice just wanted to say i know how u feel hun x

Mrs_Ryan

Princess, sending hugs to you.

Im in exactly the same situation as you - I cannot have children either.

Work is very awkward at the minute as one of the girls I work with is pregnant and she goes on about it constantly, it seems Im forever locking myself in the loo for a cry. Everyone looks at me with pity which makes me really angry as I dont want their pity - I feel quite inadequate enough without everyone going 'what a shame, she's so young...' Im not dead !!!!!!!! I was told at 22 I will never have children and its not something I've come to terms with yet - even 6 years later. To hell with what other people say to you about coming to terms with it - some people never do.
My sis quite often says to me I could look after my nephews for a few days and that would put me off for life - but she is sympathetic as it took her 8 years to concieve my oldest nephew. I love my nephews to bits and I also adore OH's 2 nephews, but its very difficult for me to come to terms with the fact I will never have children of my own.
My mum often says to me why would i want to bring a child into the world at the minute, and I suppose she's kind of right, in a way. I think its very difficult not to feel broody... just go with your own feelings.
Whatever happens.... *hugs* I hope that you find the right way to go for yourself. xxxx

FairyElephant_2

Hi Princess,

I too know the pain of 'broodiness' and have thought it would drive me mad (and still do sometimes).

We can't conceive 'naturally' and have tried 2 rounds of IVF (ICSI) which have both been unsuccessful (1 ectopic, 1 miscarriage), so I suppose I should say that I am 'luckier' than you because I still have some hope that there is a chance for us.....but hearing about people's pregnancy announcements, and seeing little ones in prams can still make me sob my heart out for hours, and feel that I will never reach that 'goal' to be a mummy.
I have to say that counselling is helping us much more than I thought it would, and even if you have given it a go in the past, maybe you could try again with a different counsellor? Ours is provided by our fertility clinic and specially trained to counsel people in that area, which Ithink is very important.

If you are looking for help/advice online, there are very good message boards on i-village - there is one about coping with permanent childlessness which may be of help?

I too hate the people who say 'have my children for x amount of time and that will put you off' - in fact I have stopped them in their tracks before by replying 'yes, I'll have your children if you like - but I won't give them back - would you really want to lose them forever?' So many people just don't understand that we don't just want 'a baby' we want to be 'a family' and to guide and nurture that baby through to adulthood. I'd better stop there before I start to get into a rant!!!!!!!

Big (((HUGS))) to you Princess, and I truly hope that you find peace and some sort of resolution.

FE

POSSETTE

Isnt it amazing,i am opposite,dont like babies never wanted baby,and sterilized at 26,now im 40..best decision i made..but i do feel so sorry for you.I wish i could perhaps rub a bit of my feelings into yours and you wouldnt feel so broody then!..best wishes

Pauper_Princess

Thanks again for all your replies Made me cry all over again though!!!

Mrs_Ryan - I thought I was reading my story then for a minute! I was 22 as well when it was finally confirmed, I'm now 34 and remember it like yesterday, one of the worst days of my life.

Am really, really struggling to cope at the moment. Think I/we will need to seek out more counselling, the one I had before was only a general one from a referral by GP so she wasn't much help.

Really, really low this week - I work in different places every week and this week the client I'm working on has a private day nursery as part of its business. Of all things. I knew it was coming (we do the same jobs at the same time each year) but it's sooooo hard. Tonight a man had come to collect his little girl and she waved at me as I drove off, couldn't see for crying the rest of the way home!!! She was such a tiny little thing, really cute.

PP x

Pauper_Princess

elainew wrote: »

Ive done 6 rounds of IVF and was succesful on round 5. No one unless theyve been there understands the pain you feel when you are childless. Jokes about take my child-they'll make your broodiness disappear used to make me really upset as you would love to take their child!!
Friends of ours are about to have a baby through surrogacy--theyve been to hell and back to get to that stage.
Have a look at www.fertilityfriends.co.uk they saved my sanity
hugs
Elaine x

Elaine, just wanted to say I finally got round to looking at that site. Not brave enough to post yet but there are people there going through the same hell I am, so thank you for the link. Most of the sites I found were American when I looked a while back.

PP x

elainew

aww glad i could help. Join up and get gabbing