Coping with broodiness?

Pauper_Princess

Apologies if there's already a thread for this, if there is can someone point me in the right direction please!

Me and OH are unable to have children and at the moment I'm so broody I'm struggling to get through the day to be quite frank.

I know this isn't a feeling exclusive to those without children because I've read posts on here before about people with 2 or 3 already but longing for another that they can't have.

Does anyone have any ideas on coping with it? I'm really at the end of my tether and I'm sick of walking around crying every time I see a baby or a pram... I feel like Im going out of my mind.


Mods - if you want to move this to the Arms please, please can you leave it here for a little bit first? Thank you.

debtfreein4years

i get over being broody by reading pregnancy books mainly the goryier the better with regards to the detail on giving birth. finds it really really really puts me off the thought of having anything no matter how small coming out of down there. also if you do have a friend with a new baby, maybe spend a day or even 24 hours with them and that soon puts you off having one of your own.

i really feel for you as it is heartbreaking if you do want a child but nature wont work with you.

tessie_bear

i feel for you....it sounds as if u are going through it....havent anything to suggest....keep busy perhaps...one day at a time.....are u in touch with people in same position....talking might help good luck

Glen0000

Have you tried looking after a toddler for a few hours? I know whenever my wife was feeling broody a stint of babysitting always helped!

The baby and pram stage is a VERY small part of having a child. Try a hormonal pre teen. Enough to put you off for life!

kingfisher1961

Sending big hugs for you. So sorry you are feeling like this, I can only say I know exactly what you are going though as we have been unable to have our own children too. It is so hard when you see babies everywhere and everyone else seems to be able to get pregnant just like that.

Does your OH understand how bad you feel? I used to cry for hours and just let my DH hold me. I would say make time for each other and try to plan little treats. I always liked to have something to look forward to - night out, meeting for a coffee, weekend away if possible. Sorry if this doesn't sound like much help. I hope in time that things will get easier.

We adopted in the end so now going through everything life with a 13 and 10 year old brings up.

Good luck

jiblets1

Hi princess, there's a well established thread here that I'm sure you'll find most supportive. Just introduce yourself and have a read to catch up on how everyone is feeling - you'll find that you're definately not alone...

jiblets1

ooh, just realised you and OH are having problems. You'll probably find this thread more useful if you are looking into ways of having a child. Good luck.

Pauper_Princess

Thanks for all your replies

jiblets - thanks for the link - without going into my very long-winded medical history there is no biological way whatsoever for me to have a child. The only way my husband will ever father a child would be if we used a surrogate.

kingfisher - thanks for your message - yes, OH knows exactly how I feel as he feels the same, thank God, although he admits it's not as bad for him cos it's not the biological thingy. We had a "cry" session last night for about an hour, went to bed feeling a tad better but just as bad again today (doesn't help that there's 2 girls pregnant at work either".

The worst thing is it's not the "awww, a baby in a pram" thing. OH' sister had her baby 5 months ago and yes, I see first hand how hard it is and how exhausting but I also see how much closer her and her OH are, and how proud he is every time he looks at his son, and I know my OH will never, ever look that way, with me at least, and it absolutely tears me apart.

kingfisher1961

I know that what we went through made us stronger because we were always there for each other. We have no explanation to why I couldn't conceive and I used to tell him he could leave me if he wanted to (not that he ever would) and find someone else.

I know what you mean about that "proud" feeling though. It hurts no end to think that no matter how much we love our kids they are not really ours.

LoopyLinz

Pauper_Princess wrote: »

Thanks for all your replies

jiblets - thanks for the link - without going into my very long-winded medical history there is no biological way whatsoever for me to have a child. The only way my husband will ever father a child would be if we used a surrogate.

kingfisher - thanks for your message - yes, OH knows exactly how I feel as he feels the same, thank God, although he admits it's not as bad for him cos it's not the biological thingy. We had a "cry" session last night for about an hour, went to bed feeling a tad better but just as bad again today (doesn't help that there's 2 girls pregnant at work either".

The worst thing is it's not the "awww, a baby in a pram" thing. OH' sister had her baby 5 months ago and yes, I see first hand how hard it is and how exhausting but I also see how much closer her and her OH are, and how proud he is every time he looks at his son, and I know my OH will never, ever look that way, with me at least, and it absolutely tears me apart.

Hi Hun

Couldnt read and run as right now I know exactly how you feel. Granted our circumstances are slightly different to your own but right now we have been advised that conceiving is a big NO NO and there is no other way to say it than it breaks my heart.

Our story is a pretty long one too that I wont bore you all to tears with. No other advice really other than to say keep your chin up.

Please dont suffer alone however. Feel free to pm me. Not saying I will have magical answers but I will try

Linz xoxox

[Deleted User]

I am so sorry for your feelings, I can't possibly understand the depth of how you feel, but I can to a bit as I was told I may be infertile due to medical history but obv not.

Our children's guardians are also in your situation and for about 6 months or so it caused a major problem, but we discussed it and managed to bring ourselves back on track, openess and being aware of each other's feelings was key.

Would you consider adopting or fostering, its never going to be the same, but if you adopted a baby and brought it up as your own, you would still get that proud feeling surely?

I'm not sure if i've been any help but didn't want to read and run.

Big hugs though, without sounding patronising!