Really need to vent!

MyLastFiver

Sorry to go against the grain here, but don't let it wind you up. Your two complaints are (I think) that 1. She is on incapacity but she was shovelling snow and 2. She thinks that Child Benefit is unfair because it is not means tested. 3. A lot of the other stuff you say comes across as envy because they have two cars and get to drink and smoke.

1. You may be right and she may be fraudulenty claiming incapacity benefit, but I'm guessing that you're not a doctor so you're not qualified to make that judgement. I think it's a shame that publicity about benefit cheats has put people who are "on the sick" under suspicion in this way.

2. Child Benefit is a controversial payment because it is not means tested so everybody gets the same. Your neighbour is only saying what an awful lot of other people think. I'm not saying she's right, and she was insensitive to moan to you about it without knowing your circumstances, but then again you don't know hers either.

You may be right and this woman may be a fraudster, or else she might be struggling just like you.

The government want us to be suspicious of each other, to fight with each other over every poxy few quid, and to live in a climate where we report each other to the authorities based on impressions, hearsay and envy.

My advice to you is don't get sucked into it. Even if she is on the take, rise above it and live and let live.

MyLastFiver

combo81 wrote: »

It depends on wether you like her as a person or not.

This sort of statement makes my point really.

We ordinary folks should try to be a little more tolerant and trusting of each other. We have to stick together.

lunar

Broken_hearted wrote: »

Maybe she was too ill with her disability to come out to help, no wonder she feels so fed up with your attitude. God forbid she managed to do a couple of things with her kids,they should miss out on everything altogether.

Its spiteful people that make our lives harder because funnily enough they never seem to notice the 364 days of hell but they sure notice the short infrequent times DH manages to spend a little time with the kids.


Maybe you should pop over to the disability board to see how badly people are treated by others who just assume nothing is wrong.

I have worked with children and adults with disability since i was 13. im 28 now and have seen disability most people cant imagine.

Im sure you are just trying to pick an argument, am i really such a terrible person. do you really think there is nobody out there scamming the system?

people like my neighbour are the reason that there is not enough money for people who need it. for example i helped nurse a neighbour a few years ago who was in the end stages of her cancer and wanted to die at home. if it was just down to nhs funding she would have died in hospital. my friend and i offered to help the husband and grown up daughters at home, we took it in turns to go in every 2 hours for the last 4 days of her life.

people like my neighbour are why there are not enough resources out there.

natsplatnat

Guys!! This all seems to have got a bit heated and out of hand!

The benefit system is not fair - there are people on benefit who could do with more and there are those who clearly use the system to their advantage. There are also the people who could claim, but due to their pride, embarrassment or stubbornness to accept help, don't, and struggle for years.

I would feel cheated too if I saw my neighbour spending benefit money on cigarettes and alcohol, new cars, holidays and clothes, without 'appearing' to help themselves. But whilst I do not condone benefit fraud, it is the system and its regulators who are most at fault for allowing this situation to arise.

lunar

Im not a doctor you right, im a nurse. My OH is a doctor though.

no matter how mad it makes me i wont report her. I could never do it. She is without doubt lying and i dont really like her after the way she spoke to me, but i wont report her.

im not jelous of the drinking/smoking i dont do either. i am jelous of the cars, we live at the bottom of a huge hill. im also jelous of the takeaways, i could really do with a chinese right now.

Broken_hearted

combo81 wrote: »

Are you a benefit fiddler too?:eek: You seem to support it.;)

Yeah sure as a full time carer I must be scum:rolleyes:

Broken_hearted

If she is lying and you can prove it report her but also report the doctor who signed her off as its them that are failing the system. I'm very tired both physicaly and emotionaly of other people who know nothing about us making assumptions.

natsplatnat

Mmmm - chinese! I could do with one of those..... but I am now leaving work to go home and cook the chicken that I dragged out the freezer this morning!!

Have a good evening Lunar - and don't stew any more!

lunar

Broken_hearted wrote: »

If she is lying and you can prove it report her but also report the doctor who signed her off as its them that are failing the system. I'm very tired both physicaly and emotionaly of other people who know nothing about us making assumptions.

this shouldnt get nasty, you have obviously had a very difficult time. its such an emotive and personal subject i was prob wrong to post it. i posted it because i know she is lying. I dont want to post my exact job as i dont want people i may know to recognise me here.

trust me though i know that not all disability is visable from the outside, and i know the lack of support that is out there.

i would be happy to pm you my background if you wanted to know that i am genuine in my support for disability.

Penny2myName

natsplatnat wrote: »

Guys!! This all seems to have got a bit heated and out of hand!

The benefit system is not fair - there are people on benefit who could do with more and there are those who clearly use the system to their advantage.

As some one on benefits, can I just point out that if I HADN'T built up debts, though one reason or another, that my entitlement is actually more than ample, and before things went pear shaped for me, whilst on benefits I was still able to provide both swimming and martial arts lessons to my children. Unfortunately I then started work, got over confident with money, took a few expensive items on via credit, then had to give up work for family reason. Due to being overconfident whilst working, I hadn't saved anything, so now on benefits its tight but manageable just. Once I am again debt free, the kids can once again have lessons and hobbies.
I am glad I quit smoking whilst I was still working. Because that is what eats alot of the finances up.
The OP has every right to be fuming and to shop the neighbour, and its people like her neighbour that make me mad.