catholic wedding advice please

nat82

You won't be expected to take communion during a catholic marriage (esp if you yourself are not Catholic). You don't even have to have a full Catholic mass that includes communion if you don't want to.

Hope that helps.

xxx

paula7924

It's good to know that the location would not be a problem but the childless bit is still a bit up in the air isnt it. I seem to get the feeling that it depends on how hard core your priest is. My boyfriend has always believed that there's no point getting married as it's not a valid marriage if you intend to have no children.

PolishBigSpender

nat82 wrote: »

You won't be expected to take communion during a catholic marriage (esp if you yourself are not Catholic). You don't even have to have a full Catholic mass that includes communion if you don't want to.

Hope that helps.

xxx

Marriage in our churches includes Communion - I would assume Catholic church is the same everywhere? Obviously, the non-catholic person doesn't receive it.

nat82

You can have a Catholic wedding without having a full Catholic mass. You don't have to have holy communion as part of your service if you don't want to.

x x x

PolishBigSpender

nat82 wrote: »

You can have a Catholic wedding without having a full Catholic mass. You don't have to have holy communion as part of your service if you don't want to.

x x x

Maybe - never been to such a wedding though.
However, the priest will still expect you to show him the proof you've been to confession.
Anyway, what's the point in having a Catholic wedding if neither of you is really Catholic? My boyfriend says it's because the Catholic churches are often really beautiful.... How sad

nat82

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Maybe - never been to such a wedding though.

I've been to Catholic weddings that haven't had the full show.


However, the priest will still expect you to show him the proof you've been to confession.

Not sure about confession though? Haven't heard that before but something to double check with the priest.


Anyway, what's the point in having a Catholic wedding if neither of you is really Catholic? My boyfriend says it's because the Catholic churches are often really beautiful.... How sad

OP's husband to be was a regular at that church before he moved and his parents still attend as do OP and h2b when they visit. Theres more to being religious than attending church every week! At least one of the bride or groom must be Catholic to get married in the Catholic Church so i'm sure it's more than the "church being really beautiful".

paula7924,

Give the priest you want to marry you a phone. I'm sure he'll be delighted and he will be able to give you all the correct answers. It's nice that you want to get married someplace that obviously means alot to your OH and his family and to you as well of course! Let us know how you get on!

Good luck!

x x x

Tiddlywinks

Why insist on marrying in a Catholic church if you do not agree with or intend to live within its teachings?

Contrary to points made above, priests should not make up their own rules; they should follow the current church guidelines absolutely - it's in their job description!

Even now the Pope refuses to sanction the use of contraception (not even allowing the use of condoms to combat the spread of AIDs etc still out of control in some third world countries) so unless you intend to abstain then you would be hypocritical to say you will follow the ways of the Catholic church.

My opinion? Yes, get married and good luck for the future BUT it is a bit two faced to marry in a church where you don't actually believe in or follow its rules.

katholicos

paula7924 wrote: »

Can anyone advise me about the following potential problems to having a catholic church wedding

1. neither of us want to have children. Will this prevent us being able to get married in church as the vows include accepting and raising children as catholics, and as the purpose of getting married is to have children

and also

2. would we be able to get married in my boyfriend's fanily's church. He was a regular church goer there, and we still go when we visit (and his parents go at least 3 times a week) but we live 250 miles away, although we don't attend church at all here.

I know i could find out the answers by calling the priest but I would rather have an idea what the priest is likely to say

Thanks

On point number 1. The Catholic view is that the Sacrament of Marriage is two fold. Procreation and unification. In other words...the sacrament of marriage is for couples who are open to receiving the blessing of children, though the couple may use natural family planning (not using contracptive products or devices). That deals very basically with the procreation part, but the unification is about the couple. Sex is not a sin, it's a gift from God and the Catholic Church recognises that sex within marriage is of huge significance for the purpose of bonding and uniting the couple. The Church would say that the way in which you give yourself wholly to your spouse is by offering them your entire self without boundaries and imorality issues ...which are precisely what the Church believes contraception to be, as many contraceptives are abortifieient in nature and in essence, seek to make the act of lovemaking incomplete by denying the natural process to take place.

I would strongly advise you to speak with the parish priest regarding not being open to life as this may well prevent the marriage taking place in a Catholic Church.

On point 2. Until recently i worked for a priest and it is usual practice that when one wants to marry in a Catholic Church which a couple does not attend and that is out of their parishes catchment area, that you would have to apply for written permission from the priest in your local Catholic Church, for you to be granted permission to marry outside the catchment area. The same goes for the Sacrament of Baptism.

From the basics you wrote, i gather that neither yourself or your future husband worship regularly in the Catholic Church and neither of you wish to have children, so i am wondering why you want to be married in the Catholic Church, is it because your future husbands parents expect it to be in a Church, since you say you attend Mass with them when you visit them?

I really would strongly recommend you speak about all this with a parish priest, as it is better for all concerned if you can start your marriage as you mean to go on.

katholicos

Further, The Catechism of the Catholic Church states, with regard to being open to life,

The openness to fertility
1652 "By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory."160

[SIZE=-1]Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves. God himself said: "It is not good that man should be alone," and "from the beginning [he] made them male and female"; wishing to associate them in a special way in his own creative work, God blessed man and woman with the words: "Be fruitful and multiply." Hence, true married love and the whole structure of family life which results from it, without diminishment of the other ends of marriage, are directed to disposing the spouses to cooperate valiantly with the love of the Creator and Savior, who through them will increase and enrich his family from day to day.161

[/SIZE]1653 The fruitfulness of conjugal love extends to the fruits of the moral, spiritual, and supernatural life that parents hand on to their children by education. Parents are the principal and first educators of their children.162 In this sense the fundamental task of marriage and family is to be at the service of life.163

1654 Spouses to whom God has not granted children can nevertheless have a conjugal life full of meaning, in both human and Christian terms. Their marriage can radiate a fruitfulness of charity, of hospitality, and of sacrifice.

Source

PolishBigSpender

OP's husband to be was a regular at that church before he moved and his parents still attend as do OP and h2b when they visit. Theres more to being religious than attending church every week! At least one of the bride or groom must be Catholic to get married in the Catholic Church so i'm sure it's more than the "church being really beautiful".

I agree that one can believe in God and not go to church. However, the Catholic church wouldn't agree that such a person is religious.
I find it really bizarre when a couple comes to the church to have their kids baptised/get married etc. and they obviously don't know what's going on during the service...

P.S. I've got nothing against non-Catholics by the way, my boyfriend is Protestant himself and I couldn't care less