Please Help Me

Icanandwillsavemoney

bank_of_slate wrote: »

Have you kept the emails that he sent you saying to pay him when you could etc?
...Linda xx

Yes, I am trying to work out how to download all the texts that he sent also.

Icanandwillsavemoney

talana wrote: »

When he originally loaned you this £2250, was anything put in writing as to what the repayment terms would be?

If there's no agreement in writing, then surely he'd find it very difficult to show that repayments are overdue?
Especially if you have those emails still, as bank_of_slate says.

Edit:
Perhaps write back to the solicitor, and first make it clear that you don't dispute the fact that the loan needs to be repayed. But then invite them to show you any signed or dated written agreement that sets out repayment terms. They won't be able to.
Nothing on paper = no particular agreed terms and therefore you can't be overdue

The only things we have in writing are textsand emails from him saying take your time, I am in no hurry.... do not skint yourself.... pay other debts first then pay me.... There were no agreed terms at all.

ajbell

just out of curiosity, if you can't afford to pay him any money back how would you have paid the original loan payments?.

Icanandwillsavemoney

RAS wrote: »

Hi

This man is a bully and you do not need to accept this sort of behaviour. He obviously uses loans as a way of controlling his partners and you have my admiration for getting away from him so quickly. Obviously he did this in the full knowledge that you were worried about admitting the dedt to your employer so it gave him more leverage.

Unless there is anything in writing, he can only have what you have available.

You need to speak to either CAB and see they have a tame solicitor or try Community Legal Advice or call 0845 345 4345 which gives free advice at around 100 courts across England and Wales.


With respect to the CCJ, IF he was able to enforce this (and I doubt it) you would only be required to pay what you can afford not what he wants.

Also speak to the debt charities about your situation.

read this link to a thread where a relationship broke down http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1436195. It may be a good idea to pm lemma1968?

My major concern that he is obviously a lose cannon.

I know you work for a bank but there are people on the bankruptcy forum who have gone bankrupt as advised by their bank and still have their jobs.

Can you speak to your union representative and ask them to make an anonymous enquiry from HR?

The other posters who did this were referred to an in-house debt advisor who helped them out.

The only time we have heard of a bank employee losing thier job was when the person went BR and then told his emplyer who were a major creditor.

That would take the rug out from under his feet.

Funny you should say that about him using loans as a control over partners, he also lent the girl he was seeing before me money too... My friend also said she felt he did it so that he felt as though he owne me. Or that I would feel beholden to him and stay with him. He was a bully yes.

I will call the union on Monday for some anonymous advice and see what my options are, thank you to those that have suggested this option.

Once I have answered everyones kind comments, I will read the thread you have so kindly provided the link for.

Icanandwillsavemoney

ajbell wrote: »

just out of curiosity, if you can't afford to pay him any money back how would you have paid the original loan payments?.

I am not saying I can not afford to pay him back, just that I can only afford £25 a month and not the £100 he is now demaning. He lent the money saying pay what and when you can afford and has now changed his stance on that.

I do want to pay him back in full as I hate owing money to anyone, person or company.

Icanandwillsavemoney

OK, I didn't want to wait until tomorrow - this is scary and I really want to cry some more. I can not see an end to all this.

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet
Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 1
Number of children in household......... 1
Number of cars owned.................... 1
Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 978
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 300
Other income............................ 199
Total monthly income.................... 1477
Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 80
Secured loan repayments................. 121
Hire Purchase (HP) repayments........... 0
Rent.................................... 230 (shared ownership)
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 98
Electricity............................. 45
Gas..................................... 45
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 43
Telephone (land line)................... 22 - get my broadband in with this.
Mobile phone............................ 20 - only make calls from this not land line.
TV Licence.............................. 11.5
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 120
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 50
Road tax................................ 9.17
Car Insurance........................... 23
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 10
Car parking............................. 34
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 8
Life assurance ......................... 18
Other insurance......................... 8 - mortgage and secured loans protection in case of accident sickness or redundancy.
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Total monthly expenses.................. 995.67

Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 2000
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 2000

Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 20000....(80).......1.5
Secured Debt.................. 15000....(121)......4.5
Total secured & HP debts...... 35000.....-.........-
Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
BARCLAY CARD...................5870......68........0 - no interest and on payment plan.
HALIFAX CC.....................1739......39........21.9
BLACK HORSE....................781.......82........14.9 - cleared Aug 09.
ARGOS CARD.....................567.......55........0 - on payment plan.
HALIFAX OVERDRAFT..............748.......3.........0
ABBEY OVERDRAFT................1748......23........21
RLPF LOAN......................1980......118.......58
NORTHERN ROCK LOAN.............4630......62........8.9
Total unsecured debts..........18063.....450.......-

Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 1,477
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 995.67
Available for debt repayments........... 481.33
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 450
Amount left after debt repayments....... 31.33 - hence my being able to pay ex £25 a month.
Personal Balance Sheet Summary
Total assets (things you own)........... 2,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -35,000
Total Unsecured debt.................... -18,063
Net Assets.............................. -51,063
Created using the SOA calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission.

What do you think?

kittiej

If you have nothing in writing then how can he prove that it was not gifted to you and now you have split up you feel terrible and off your own back have started to repay this money?

400 texts sounds like harrassment to me, if they were threatening then go to the Police?

caramia1812

My heart goes out to you but like the others say, he can't make you pay if you did not agree any terms of repayment. I note your FSOA and see you are paying a mortgage AND rent?

Icanandwillsavemoney

caramia1812 wrote: »

My heart goes out to you but like the others say, he can't make you pay if you did not agree any terms of repayment. I note your FSOA and see you are paying a mortgage AND rent?

Yes, it is shared ownership.

firesidemaid

hi there

i too agree that 400 texts seems like harrassment to me. just because he has a solicitor on his case, doesn't mean that he actually has a case IYSWIM?

we and you can all see exactly what has gone on and what he is doing now. just out of interest what is his job/profession?

re. your SOA - your water rates seem high - are you on a meter? what are the parking fees for?

also, seeing as you are paying for a landline, there are many deals BT, primus and others whereby your weekend/evening landline calls are included.

also there are some great sim-only deals for £10/£15 a month. what is your useage like per month?

you will get through this x