If things get tougher?

shelley1977

i was 17 when i had my eldest and im now 30 with 4 more.my children all know i dont have alot of money and take more pleasure from my home baking and sitting reading a story together or having a picnic than having a ps3 or whatever is the latest toy out.it is getting harder as they get older and there is alot of peer pressure at school to have the lastest fad.id be interested in hearing how every one deals with that side,at the moment i explain that money is tight, but sometimes thats not enough when they feel excluded from games other children are playing because they dont have what they have.

sadiedoll

As a teacher, I would like to say thanks to all the excellent and caring parents on this thread. The nicest children to teach are the ones who have had time and love, not money and gadgets. They will turn into fine young people with decent values.

the_cat

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=225397&highlight=things+kids

Hopefully this thread from last year will give a few ideas

OrkneyStar

kayjay1809 wrote: »

Yes our village has a fab park which is free, and I do currently have a car to get to pools but that might be going soon....

Yes I can ask his friends round - :eek: - and we do but for 6 weeks

I do save his family allowance for clothes and treats so hopefully can dip into that.

I did find it a lot easier when he was younger, when he was happy to just make a chocolate cake and sit in a paddling pool :rotfl:It will only be another year or two until he can go to the village park with his friends and I doubt I'll see him then!! I am lucky where I live in that the kids go out and play on their own, we have a park, stream, woods etc all close by for kids to play in on their own when they're old enough

Yes not every day of course lol But maybe once a week and if a couple of other mums did the same....
We are lucky too where we live the kids can play out too, although there is also a road nearby which is not so good.

charlies_mum

Kayjay, do yo have a library close to you ? As well as the books, they have CDs and DVDs which you can rent and it is much cheaper than the video rental shops. This will keep him amused if Summer never arrives :rolleyes:

mummytofour

It is hard entertaining the kids as they get older they want/need more money spending on them, their thirst for knowledge is amazing and the need stimulation without it you get naughty troublesome kids. My kids love swimming/beach and the like but the also like to go to the sports centre library and its nice to get them to a museum or 2.

Rabbit

I come from very humble beginnings and even though I never had all the stuff my mates had, I never doubt how much I was loved and still am. Our house always made others welcome and we would share whatever we had. I remember my Mum making a roast on Sunday, then we'd have the leftovers for lunch in sandwiches the next day and then tea would be the meat along with chips, peas and gravy which I adored. Mum would cook the meat on saturday night and slice it cold on sunday, wafer thin to get the most out of it.

Midweek one night would be a stew and guess what, we'd have it the next night with Mum's ace homemade chips (another of my fave teas!).

I had friends from much 'posher' homes with all the goodies who have told me they never got a hug from their Mum or felt loved and wanted, how sad is that! I strongly believe that a happy home full of love and time is the best thing for kids. Don't despair, kids are very resilient. Just love them with all your heart and you can't be doing much wrong eh?

Good luck peeps, I hope you can find the strength from the bottom of your toes to get through these hard times. Like someone said earlier you need to be determined to make it and don't give up!

marybishop

kayjay - are you anywhere near a 'pick your own' farm - my girls and I spent hours at one near us when they were younger (they're 15 now and still love going there!). We'd take a picnic and make an afternoon of it - pick some fruit (I know that's not free but you can limit the amount picked) and then have a picnic/play games/read books. Great with friends too. I also found if we went with friends on a long walk the kids used to have a great time being in a group (and us mums used to find it a great way to de-stress!!).

marybishop

Rabbit - you're so right. My girls know our financial situation (it's not horrendous but it's not good!!) and that we have to think about every penny we spend but I think it's had a very positive effect on their way of thinking. One is so into growing veg we now have a fantastic veg plot and we spend a lot of quality time out there digging/weeding/planting. They're also very switched on about not spending money willy nilly (well, one is better than the other but she's learning ... slowly!). They're both determined not to get into debt when they're older so if they manage that one then it won't all have been in vain!!!

I think kids are definitely more resilient than we think sometimes and the best bit is when my girls say they love being at home with us - then it's definitely all worthwhile!

foreign_correspondent

sadiedoll wrote: »

As a teacher, I would like to say thanks to all the excellent and caring parents on this thread. The nicest children to teach are the ones who have had time and love, not money and gadgets. They will turn into fine young people with decent values.

As someone who works with young people, I would just like to second this. I really do believe that a lot of the problems our teenagers face is due to the impact of consumerism and the pressure to have the latest stuff, the idea that having flash things creates happiness, and some young people are very vulnerable to this ideology - as happiness is missing from their lives.

Helping children and young people develop resiliance and a real understanding of what hapiness is may, to an extent, help them resist this con-tricking that bg companies push onto kids. Children and teenagers are seen as a key market group, with 'pester power' and later, disposable income to tap into.

I was at a conference earlier this year where a guy was (very proudly) talking about his agency which undertakes market research and promotion to kids - in my opinion their methiods are very underhand (they realise kids can be quite wise and cynical about old fashioned marketing) for example, one tool they use is to go to inner city areas and approach and recruit 'cool' kids, the kids that the others aspire to be like and employ them to carry a product (eg. bottled water) - as they know that kids aspire to be like them, this will give kudos to their product. I was disgusted that this was at a professional conference where I would have hped the organisers might have had an ethical standpoint about this.

Parents, keep up the good work - bottled water, flash trainers and snazzy phones do not make you happy. However, understanding what kids are up against can be useful - companies do set up to manipulate them, and then society is surprised when kids are robbing each other for phones and trainers. It is time we woke up to what is being set up for the future here.