If things get tougher?

Sarahsaver

There's a lot to be said for philosophy!

Had i not had a philosophical outlook i would not still be in one piece after redundancy, domestic violence, ill health personally and of DS1, times of GREAT hardship.

even when I was out and out broke I did voluntary work and that helped me in the long run - getting out and talking to people again, experience and qualifications, AND the odd free lunch too!

I have felt desperate I do remember that, constantly in the forefront of my mind used to be 'heck I am broke what am I going to do...' it takes a lot of self discipline and training your mind in the same way a weight lifter trains their muscles. Turn it round to what HAVE i got and what CAN i do? (after having had a near death experience I just have to remind myself I am still alive and that usually does the trick;))

Moneysaving tip to stay on topic LOL 'credit crunch busting sunday dinners' - faggots and gravy, toad in the hole, lentil roast (home made of course) or a rabbit stew. I started having 'proper' sunday dinners when my kids were little and their biological father had left, we always sat round the table even if it was sausages instead of a traditional roast. Its the routines as a child that you remember when you are an adult.

pavlovs_dog

Sarahsaver wrote: »

Moneysaving tip to stay on topic LOL 'credit crunch busting sunday dinners' - faggots and gravy, toad in the hole, lentil roast (home made of course) or a rabbit stew. I started having 'proper' sunday dinners when my kids were little and their biological father had left, we always sat round the table even if it was sausages instead of a traditional roast. Its the routines as a child that you remember when you are an adult.

its funny, because i can remember my mum doing exactly the same. even when it was minced beef in gravy, tinned potatoes etc that were donated to us by the local church, we ALWAYS had 'cooked dinner' on a sunday, and to this day it is one of the highlights of my week. we often sit and eat as a family midweek, but eating together is the law on sundays.

and the essential part of sunday dinner? bread for mopping up the gravy (and filling the bellies a bit more). a cheap pud for afters and we wouldnt need feeding again until breakfast monday morning, we were that stuffed!

lessonlearned

mummytofour - you are doing great, just hang in and enjoy your children every day. Believe me they will soon grow up and be gone.

When my children were small during the 90's recession we really struggled. We did a number of "Sun" holidays - tokens from the Sun newspaper. I used to save all my small change over the year and this would just about cover it. We went to Cornwall, Devon and even the Isle of Wight.

The accommodation was always good and I used to take a box or two of groceries which I had stockpiled in the weeks running up to the holiday, to save on the food bill. We had some really lovely holidays that way and they cost next to nothing.

Later when things improved a bit we bought a cheap (£100) caravan which we tarted up and had several happy years in that. Our caravan was always the oldest and tattiest on the site but we didn't care - we were on holiday. Our children didn't even notice, they just had a wonderful time. For days out etc. I would look out for 2 for 1 offers and "free" days such as picnics, days in the country or even just to the local park, museuems/art galleries etc.

Pavlovs-dog - Having been desperately hard up several times in my life for a variety of reasons, and having survived and lived to tell the tale, I totally agree that philosophy is the key to getting through bad times. A strong positive attitude is a must, being bloody minded also helps. (As in I will get through this).

There's no doubt that these are challenging times but I take heart from the fact that I've done it before. And, that was before I discovered this wonderful forum and you fabulous peeps who so generously share your knowledge and wisdom.

Thanks everyone.

sammy_kaye18

mummytofour - do not worry about what your kids, what you think they want or need is probably far from it. funny i was talking abotu a similiar subject yesterday with a friend of mine.

Im a young mum (ok 24 next month) and my son just turned 4 in May. I always worried that I never gave him all these fancy things - I think the only thing i brought him up until he was 3 years old was a little coat (for his first christmas) and the birthday/christmas presents. Everything else i had donated/charity shopped/given to me/freecycled/gifted etc - but my son never missed out. Me and my boyfriend are no way near well off. We struggle every month to make ends meet which can be really hard at times and some months i honestly dont know how we do it at all and wth costs going up yes it is harder but you jsut have to be more creative.

I do alot of free things with my son - trips to the local country park which is £2.50 to get in (plus the bus there!) and we spend all day there - there is a mini farm, play area,open field etc and they have events on all year too.
We have never been on holiday - visiting family for a long weekend yes but never a proper holiday ever. We are looking at going camping somewhen but have no idea if we will ever be able to afford to go any where - tenby it may well be but thats still enough of a break for us.

Like I said to my friend yesterday Im trying to keep my son level headed and teach him that money isnt everything - i dont want a spoiled child, my son was over the moon at christmas just gone (we couldnt afford alot and really struggled) but his favourite present was his stocking. All it had in it was a cheap wilkos truck colouring book, a dvd from the charity shop, pack of crayons from poundland, a reindeer teddy(charity shop again) and a pack of chocolate gold coins. - but he was thrilled and said thank you. Bens christmas was about £150 (some toys and clothes). His brother who doesnt live with us got £200+ of Nintendo DS games and a DS and another £150 of other toys and he tantrumed the entire day because he hadnt had a specific toy.

Some of my best days and funest memories with Ben are when its raining outside and we play inside - i put the airers up in the living room, drape a sheet over the top and we sit inside with a hot choccie and biscuits nad i read him stories. He loves it because its him and mummy doing something together - although we have had to ban twinks hobnob making sessions as someone else has taken to eating the uncooked mix too! :eek:

So I'll end my saga by saying what i said to my friend 'I dont spoil my child with gifts, I spoil him with time and love'.

[Deleted User]

sammy-kaye you are a woman after my own heart. You give me hope for the younger generation

taplady

Sammy - your post brought a lump to my throat - what a wonderful Mum you are to Ben.:A I really admire what you manage to do and always enjoy reading your posts :T

kayjay1809

sammy-kaye - that is a wonderful post thankyou

However I struggle as my little boy who was happy to sit under a tent and have stories read to him is now a bright 8 year old who is demanding more and more everyday. He understands we don't have a lot of money available and he is a very good saver himself (which me and his dad aren't ) but he has been spoilt in the past when we did have money available and also my mother-in-law spends a ridiculous amount of money on him for birthday and christmas (this May she sent £100 CASH via Royal Mail, despite being told not to). He spent his £100 on Indiana Jones lego and is intending to resell it on ebay to make some money back. However generally it is hard to entertain him for no money, football is great, but I'm not in good health to run around with him, and as he's an only child unless he has someone to play with I'm 'IT' so we tend to go swimming, playcentre, parks and cinema, all of which cost money. I have no idea how we're going to manage this summer hols as our money situation is getting critical now

So I guess this essay means how do I entertain a 8 year old boy without spending money??

OrkneyStar

Things are undoubtedly tougher for many people as the basic cost of living seems to be increasing, however have people made things worse for themselves by taking on such levels of personal debt in the first place ? I am not judging anyone in debt, by any means, but do any of you feel that the increasing cost of living would have been managable had you not also had debts with increasing payments also every month ? (I am lucky not to be in debt, largely my frugality, largely luck :rolleyes: !!!), but think if I was I would find it almost impossible to juggle repayments with increased living costs. Also as things started to get tougher people may have used credit to alleviate some of the stress (eg to make a mortgage payment or similar) and now they have to deal with more increases and pay off the credit that initially may have seemed to help them. Do any of you wish you had resisted the credit in the first place ? Any stories of how you have later sold lots of the things you bought with credit, on e-bay for example, and clawed some money back ? Would love to hear these as it might inspire some others to do similar :T . Apologies if this is on the wrong thread.....but I think it is relevant to things getting tougher in general.

OrkneyStar

kayjay1809 wrote: »

sammy-kaye - that is a wonderful post thankyou

However I struggle as my little boy who was happy to sit under a tent and have stories read to him is now a bright 8 year old who is demanding more and more everyday. He understands we don't have a lot of money available and he is a very good saver himself (which me and his dad aren't ) but he has been spoilt in the past when we did have money available and also my mother-in-law spends a ridiculous amount of money on him for birthday and christmas (this May she sent £100 CASH via Royal Mail, despite being told not to). He spent his £100 on Indiana Jones lego and is intending to resell it on ebay to make some money back. However generally it is hard to entertain him for no money, football is great, but I'm not in good health to run around with him, and as he's an only child unless he has someone to play with I'm 'IT' so we tend to go swimming, playcentre, parks and cinema, all of which cost money. I have no idea how we're going to manage this summer hols as our money situation is getting critical now

So I guess this essay means how do I entertain a 8 year old boy without spending money??

Could you not get him together with his friends as much as possible....say let a few of them 'camp' in your house one day- loads of cheap snacks, play games, let them run riot so to speak, and then another mum could take them another time.
Is there no summer swimming pool deals for school age kids ?
Parks should be free ?
Sorry to be no more help for you.

kayjay1809

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Could you not get him together with his friends as much as possible....say let a few of them 'camp' in your house one day- loads of cheap snacks, play games, let them run riot so to speak, and then another mum could take them another time.
Is there no summer swimming pool deals for school age kids ?
Parks should be free ?
Sorry to be no more help for you.

Yes our village has a fab park which is free, and I do currently have a car to get to pools but that might be going soon....

Yes I can ask his friends round - :eek: - and we do but for 6 weeks

I do save his family allowance for clothes and treats so hopefully can dip into that.

I did find it a lot easier when he was younger, when he was happy to just make a chocolate cake and sit in a paddling pool :rotfl:It will only be another year or two until he can go to the village park with his friends and I doubt I'll see him then!! I am lucky where I live in that the kids go out and play on their own, we have a park, stream, woods etc all close by for kids to play in on their own when they're old enough