Why Do They Want To Know About My 5 Month Old Sons Savings On HB/CTB Form?!

bestpud

aliasojo wrote: »

So this is an age thing? It's ok to take money in some situations? Where do you draw the line?

Can I ask why no-one has replied to my post above please? I'm genuinely curious.

Here's another (slightly hypothetical but has some basis in truth) situation. Disabled son....requires care, will never be able to work. Certain amount of savings built up slowly over many years for his future needs when parents are dead for example. Ok to take his money too? What if the money can't be repaid? What if parents are low earners and will never have the kind of cash needed to repay?

Again, imo, not a clear cut situation.

I'm still a little surprised that everyone is saying 'yes, use the child's money' regardless. To be fair to Briona, she seems to be the only one so far that has even acknowledged the difference in certain situations.

One last point I'd like to make is today's world is completely different from the one we might have known when we left school or home. Even within the last few months there have been so many redundancies the market is saturated with people seeking work. Not everyone is college or university material and whilst many will leave school and be lucky in their work search, many will not. Young disillusioned skint people are a worrying part of today's society imo. It's all very well saying it's important for people to stand on their own two feet etc, but our economy is in troubled times, I really think youngsters are going to have it harder starting off than we ever did.

I 100% agree there are varying circumstances.

I think it is something every family should consider if times were difficult.

That's not to say I would definitely run with it, but I would consider it fully iyswim? And if I did borrow some of their money, I'd not beat myself up for it as I'd know I'd sat and fully thought through all the options. Plus I would pay it back asap.

The changing economic climate is all the more reason for children to have a very strong work ethic and to leave the home believing they should work for the things they want.

It is a dangerous time for any youth who believes they cannot make it without mum and dad, or the taxpayer!

Oldernotwiser

aliasojo wrote: »

Those were indeed extreme times oldernotwiser. I was not intending making a comparison to times such as those. I obviously should have stated so.

I was just trying to give a bit of historical perspective. It's like when people say how stressful modern life is; well, compared to living through the Blitz, it isn't!

aliasojo

I kinda feel I should point something out here......for all I am playing Devil's Advocate with my posts here, I have in the past used my children's money and if there came a time in the future that I needed to do so again, I would. However on those occasions I was 100% sure the money would be repaid by a certain date and it was. I even paid back extra to cover the interest they would have lost, so they probaby made more money out of me than they would have if their money was just sat in the bank. :rolleyes:

I didn't feel comfortable doing it, in fact it felt completely wrong as the money was not mine. As someone above...(moggy?) commented....they weren't able to give their consent and I was very conscious of the fact I was using someone else's money for purposes it was never meant for.

I believe I'm a fairly good budgeter and I manage the family finances well, however what if I wasn't a manager? What if I ended up skint through my poor decisions and I wasted my own money. I just cant see that it's right to then move on to someone else's. There's just too many 'issues' with this type of situation.

viktory

ladyrider260 wrote: »

We both said a similar thing, but in different words....so why am I the big, bad wolf?! I said I don't blame my parents. I just don't want our son to struggle like we do.

I think I'll just leave my son to live off the taxpayer when hes older.

But then I'd be stoned down for doing that. So it doesn't matter what I say, it'll always be picked to pieces & labelled as the wrong choice!
I can't win.

Teaching your son right from wrong, the value of money, the importance of hard work....these are all so much more important than money and will help shape him into a well rounded, hard working individual that won't have to live off the state.

In my opinion, giving an 18 year old money is the worse thing you can. My son is 17, 18 in a couple of months and has worked in an apprenticeship since he left school. He had no nest egg and understands the value of money and the importance of working hard to get the things you want in life.

briona

aliasojo wrote: »

So this is an age thing? It's ok to take money in some situations? Where do you draw the line?

For me it's not that there's a specific age where I think that borrowing from or simply raiding a child's account would be wrong, it's more a question of being able to EXPLAIN to a child of a certain age the predicament that you're in, and almost appealing to them to make the "right" decision.

You treat children of different ages in different ways anyway – a two year old's choices may be limited to what colour tshirt he wants to wear and what flavour yoghurt he wants to eat; a 12 year old's choices go a lot further – so I see the using money from their accounts as simply being an extension of that treatment. Hence I would NOT offer the 2 year old either an explanation or a choice, whereas I most certainly would with regards to the 12 year old...

briona

viktory wrote: »

Teaching your son right from wrong, the value of money, the importance of hard work....these are all so much more important than money and will help shape him into a well rounded, hard working individual that won't have to live off the state.

In my opinion, giving an 18 year old money is the worse thing you can. My son is 17, 18 in a couple of months and has worked in an apprenticeship since he left school. He had no nest egg and understands the value of money and the importance of working hard to get the things you want in life.

I have to agree with Viktory's points above.

Whilst it's natural to want to help your children out as much as possible, it's horrifying to think that there's now a generation of children out there who EXPECT to be given everything on a plate – house deposits, savings accounts, hours upon hours of free babysitting for their children... So it's no surprise that these same money-grabbing kids turn out to be the ones posting on here wanting to know how much rent their should charge their elderly parents for living with them! :eek:

There are kids out there now who WON'T work minimum wage jobs because they're too good for that and if they can't get a starting salary of 25K, then they bloody well won't work at all. Instead they'll live off their parents until said job comes along, contributing nothing because "OMG! How can I be expected to live on JSA of £47pw". My mother assured me when I graduated that no matter how little money I had coming in, if I was living under her roof, eating her food and using her amenities, I would contribute, because as she put it "you don't get to live rent free anywhere, why should home be any different?"

I can honestly say that having had to work from the bottom up in below minimum wage jobs (Ireland only introduced minimum wage in 2000, unfortunately I started work the year before... a 22 year old graduate with a degree earning IR£2.50ph ), has taught me the value of money. You appreciate money that you have had to earn far more than money that is handed to you on a plate...

Freebie_Hunter_2

Just because you save for your childs future, it doesn't mean you're going to hand it to them on a silver platter! Our son knows nothing of the savings we have squirrelled away for him. CTFs are common knowlegde, so he'll get his £250 + interest when he's 18. The 'other' account, he'll get when he NEEDS it. In the meantime, we are teaching him how to earn his pocket money and how to save for what he wants.

When he was about 8 months old, we hit a similar situation as the OP. We sold the car, the leather sofa etc after our savings had gone. All that was left was our sons £400. We seriously considered using it but then I thought 'why the heck should we use his money, given to him as presents, when we have paid taxes?!'
We applied for help. Luckily we didn't need it for long as employment came along. 2wks after we had started work there was a small fire in the bedroom caused by a faulty power socket. Thank God we were downstairs but our sons cot was ruined. As we chose to cancel our contents insurance to try and save money, we only had the £300. It bought our son a cot.
Had we used the money for living costs, he would have been on the floor. We were sleeping on a mattress and there was barely room for us on it, so there was no way he would have fit in.

Before anyone babbles on about 'your tax money was spent then, mr x's tax money would have been used for you.' Don't give me that rubbish. That's just splitting hairs for the sake of being ruddy awkward.
That money was spent how it should have been. It would have covered 1 month of bills, great. But there would have been nowhere for our son to sleep. What would your priority be?










Watch out. You don't know what's round the corner people.

Oldernotwiser

briona wrote: »

I have to agree with Viktory's points above.

Whilst it's natural to want to help your children out as much as possible, it's horrifying to think that there's now a generation of children out there who EXPECT to be given everything on a plate – house deposits, savings accounts, hours upon hours of free babysitting for their children... So it's no surprise that these same money-grabbing kids turn out to be the ones posting on here wanting to know how much rent their should charge their elderly parents for living with them! :eek:

There are kids out there now who WON'T work minimum wage jobs because they're too good for that and if they can't get a starting salary of 25K, then they bloody well won't work at all. Instead they'll live off their parents until said job comes along, contributing nothing because "OMG! How can I be expected to live on JSA of £47pw". My mother assured me when I graduated that no matter how little money I had coming in, if I was living under her roof, eating her food and using her amenities, I would contribute, because as she put it "you don't get to live rent free anywhere, why should home be any different?"

I can honestly say that having had to work from the bottom up in below minimum wage jobs (Ireland only introduced minimum wage in 2000, unfortunately I started work the year before... a 22 year old graduate with a degree earning IR£2.50ph ), has taught me the value of money. You appreciate money that you have had to earn far more than money that is handed to you on a plate...

:T :T :T :T :T

Freebie_Hunter_2

Ah well, guess I won't be amongst the 'turf your kids out in the cold with beggar all' generation then

briona

Freebie_Hunter wrote: »

That money was spent how it should have been. It would have covered 1 month of bills, great. But there would have been nowhere for our son to sleep. What would your priority be?

How do you think people managed BEFORE cots were invented?! :rolleyes: