Why Do They Want To Know About My 5 Month Old Sons Savings On HB/CTB Form?!

ladyrider260

Please read carefully....
We DID save but used what little savings we've had on bailing ourselves out for a while. At no point did I blame the parents for our situation. I have worked since I was 14 to help contribute to the family home, so it wasn't until my 20's that I was able to start putting a bit away.
If we are in a situation of hardship when he is older, we don't want to put our son in a situation where he has to go out to work at 14 (then full time at 16) & end up missing out on education and a life of his own.

It isn't pointing fingers, a blame game or a 'woe is me' job. We simply don't want our son to be in the situation that I was in. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Unless of course you're happy to bail him out with your taxes when he is older

krisskross

Most of us save for ourselves. Me and 'im were terrifyingly hard up with 4 young children and in a benefitless age. Think '60s and '70s.

We both worked, sometimes I had 2 jobs.

Now retired we are in the fortunate position of having plenty of money for both our needs and wants. We got absolutely diddly-squat from our parents, and certainly never expected anything either.

ladyrider260

BTW, the value pasta was a figure of speech. I can't eat it due to my medical condition.

Perhaps I shall re-phrase that to 'shuffling through the bins at Tesco'!

fairplay4u

bestpud wrote: »

Are you seriously blaming your parents lack of savings for the situation you find yourselves in? :eek:

How old are you?

We have eaten value brand pasta for a very long while, with two of us working so I'd hardly call that scraping the bottom of the barrel!

If they brought you up to be money savvy, then why are you now blaming them for not scraping to provide you with savings?

You have a very unusual outlook if you don't mind me saying so!

To be fair this is not an unusual outlook, I am 1 of 5 children and i must say my older siblings got a lot more than myself (rent(for uni),cars,pocket money until they finished uni....the list goes on...) by the time i made it up the pecking order my parents financial circumstances changed dramatically. Therefore I had to pay for everthing myself, the downside of this is i'm almost 30 and still paying off uni debts and my older siblings are not. So the moral of my story is if you have children and decide to save for them to have a nest egg make sure its divided up equally between your children.

I know I've got into debt because i had to do and pay for everything myself and i'm hoping to try to prevent my children from doing the same....haven't started there nest egg just yet....more worried about keeping a roof over our heads at the mo but hopefully 1 day soon.

Oh and i must point out i do suffer from middle child sydrome...can u tell :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

moggylover

briona wrote: »

A child doesn't HAVE money in the same sense that an adult does. Any money in your child's name has either been given to him/her by you from your income or by someone else – they haven't actually earned it so to me it wouldn't feel as though you were sticking your hand into someone else's handbag!

So, if I had a win on the lottery (fat chance, but just supposin') it would be okay for someone to take that money because I hadn't earnt it. Or........someone gives you something, say a teapot, and then decides that they need it back and as you haven't earnt it they just take it. Okay, I can see this working well in the adult World.

In all honesty if I was struggling to pay the bills (and had children of course!) I would have no qualms whatsoever about raiding my child's savings account, if only to take back what I had put in there. They will obviously benefit from me being able to keep the house warm and put food on the table.

However if the child's grandparents were to give him/her £20 birthday money for example, no matter how much I was struggling I would want to see that money used for what the child's grandparents had intended – to buy my child a birthday present.

But my kids have money in their accounts that I gave them for birthdays or Christmas: where do we draw the line?

For me, personally, once I have given my children something, be it money or a gift, it remains theirs. For instance, we recently sold my youngest sons bike which he had outgrown. We got the grand sum of £15.00 for it and this he placed in his savings account. I make a point of making them save, and this is in an effort to ensure that they do not end up in debt in adulthood and understand the importance of saving. Whilst not saying that I do not understand your point about "needs must" I really do not think that we are sending the right message to those children if we take back what we have given because our need is greater than theirs at that instant in time. I'm not saying that I do not see the point about it being for their benefit: but I still think it shows them rather mixed messages about behaviour that I am not comfortable with.

briona

It's natural to want to give your children what you yourself never had, or what you feel you missed out on. But, despite the fact that MY mother could not afford to save anything for my four siblings and I, I still have reservations about handing kids everything on a plate. Obviously if and when I have children I can exercise the right NOT to save thousands for their future, just as everyone who wants to save for their children's future can exercise their right to do so.

When I was growing up, we didn't have a car, we didn't have a TV, we had one pair of shoes each that lasted us for the whole school year, we had one winter coat each, we wore Primark LONG before Primark became desirable, we never went on holiday (actually we did go on holiday once, when my aunt paid for us to come and stay with her in Wales, where ironically I now live!), and the pocket money we got really was 'pocket' money – starting at 5p per week for a 3 year old, it went up by 5p every birthday! LOL! yes, it was the 80s but even then that was pretty low! However, being given money, no matter how small the amount, taught us the value of saving. From the age of 14 we got part time babysitting jobs, and later factory jobs so we could go into town and buy the same clothes that our friends were buying...

And when my mother was short of money because she hadn't gone to the Post Office before it closed, or she needed to pay a bill urgently, we would give or lend her our babysitting money.

moggylover wrote: »

I'm not saying that I do not see the point about it being for their benefit: but I still think it shows them rather mixed messages about behaviour that I am not comfortable with.

I'm not suggesting taking back money from a 12 year old's account for example (at least not with explaining the need or the situation to them first) but I think you'll agree that a 5 month old has no need for savings whatsoever nor any concept of money, so if it was a choice between paying the gas bill or leaving money in a baby's account, I would have no qualms about paying my gas bill...

ladyrider260

briona wrote: »

It's natural to want to give your children what you yourself never had, or what you feel you missed out on. But, despite the fact that MY mother could not afford to save anything for my four siblings and I, I still have reservations about handing kids everything on a plate. Obviously if and when I have children I can exercise the right NOT to save thousands for their future, just as everyone who wants to save for their children's future can exercise their right to do so.

When I was growing up, we didn't have a car, we didn't have a TV, we had one pair of shoes each that lasted us for the whole school year, we had one winter coat each, we wore Primark LONG before Primark became desirable, we never went on holiday (actually we did go on holiday once, when my aunt paid for us to come and stay with her in Wales, where ironically I now live!), and the pocket money we got really was 'pocket' money – starting at 5p per week for a 3 year old, it went up by 5p every birthday! LOL! yes, it was the 80s but even then that was pretty low! However, being given money, no matter how small the amount, taught us the value of saving. From the age of 14 we got part time babysitting jobs, and later factory jobs so we could go into town and buy the same clothes that our friends were buying...

And when my mother was short of money because she hadn't gone to the Post Office before it closed, or she needed to pay a bill urgently, we would give or lend her our babysitting money.


I'm not suggesting taking back money from a 12 year old's account for example (at least not with explaining the need or the situation to them first) but I think you'll agree that a 5 month old has no need for savings whatsoever nor any concept of money, so if it was a choice between paying the gas bill or leaving money in a baby's account, I would have no qualms about paying my gas bill...

When you have children it changes your whole perception. Trust me, I've realised that

viktory

ladyrider260 wrote: »

When you have children it changes your whole perception. Trust me, I've realised that

I have two children and so far agree with briona

I would (for example) pay the gas bill in a heartbeat rather than leave money sitting in an account - especially with interest rates so low.

ladyrider260

viktory wrote: »

I have two children and so far agree with briona

I would (for example) pay the gas bill in a heartbeat rather than leave money sitting in an account - especially with interest rates so low.

You're right about interest rates. I've found since becoming a Mother that I want to give our son the best we can. Perhaps I'm setting myself up for something, but I guess it's because he's so precious. He's the one and only that was never supposed to be.

bestpud

ladyrider260 wrote: »

When you have children it changes your whole perception. Trust me, I've realised that

I have children so I think it is more about different opinions than a parent/childless distinction.

Moggylover - what sort of situation are you thinking of when you talk of our need being more than theirs?

Because, if I was in danger of having the gas cut off, I'd consider that being their need more than mine.

Of course, I'd do everything I could to avoid ever being in that position, but it happens to people sometimes.

Plus, it would be a loan and I would be happy for my children to feel they are part of a family, and as such, help each other out if need be.

Bringing them up to think their money is theirs, no matter what the people around them are suffering, goes against my values.

Just to make it clear; I am not talking about taking their money because things are a bit tight and I couldn't afford to buy non-essential items.

Rather, I would happily go without myself to provide essentials for my children and I would like to think they'd do the same for me, or anyone else they care about. This is especially the case with savings because they wouldn't be going without anything; they'd simply be providing a loan.