Why Do They Want To Know About My 5 Month Old Sons Savings On HB/CTB Form?!

bestpud

ladyrider260 wrote: »

You're right about interest rates. I've found since becoming a Mother that I want to give our son the best we can. Perhaps I'm setting myself up for something, but I guess it's because he's so precious. He's the one and only that was never supposed to be.

The very best things you can offer him cost nothing though...

bestpud

fairplay4u wrote: »

To be fair this is not an unusual outlook, I am 1 of 5 children and i must say my older siblings got a lot more than myself (rent(for uni),cars,pocket money until they finished uni....the list goes on...) by the time i made it up the pecking order my parents financial circumstances changed dramatically. Therefore I had to pay for everthing myself, the downside of this is i'm almost 30 and still paying off uni debts and my older siblings are not. So the moral of my story is if you have children and decide to save for them to have a nest egg make sure its divided up equally between your children.

I know I've got into debt because i had to do and pay for everything myself and i'm hoping to try to prevent my children from doing the same....haven't started there nest egg just yet....more worried about keeping a roof over our heads at the mo but hopefully 1 day soon.

Oh and i must point out i do suffer from middle child sydrome...can u tell :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

What you describe can be heard in families up and down the country, and beyond!

The OP said she wants to save fer her child to avoid him getting in the mes they are in, and then she says they are like that because their parents did not save enough for them.

Sibling jealousy is one thing but suggesting our circumstances as adults, and parents at that, is linked with the amount of money our parents packed us off with is another thing altogether!

If that were the case, most people may as well give up the minute they leave home!

You say you are planning a nest egg for them, when you are more sorted yourself.

Well that is very sensible, as it is desirable (to many), but not essential iyswim?

ladyrider260

bestpud wrote: »

What you describe can be heard in families up and down the country, and beyond!

The OP said she wants to save fer her child to avoid him getting in the mes they are in, and then she says they are like that because their parents did not save enough for them.

Sibling jealousy is one thing but suggesting our circumstances as adults, and parents at that, is linked with the amount of money our parents packed us off with is another thing altogether!

If that were the case, most people may as well give up the minute they leave home!

You say you are planning a nest egg for them, when you are more sorted yourself.

Well that is very sensible, as it is desirable (to many), but not essential iyswim?

We both said a similar thing, but in different words....so why am I the big, bad wolf?! I said I don't blame my parents. I just don't want our son to struggle like we do.

I think I'll just leave my son to live off the taxpayer when hes older.

But then I'd be stoned down for doing that. So it doesn't matter what I say, it'll always be picked to pieces & labelled as the wrong choice!
I can't win.

Freebie_Hunter_2

Looks like your question has been answered, but it is to stop people from putting their savings into their childrens accounts.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to protect your childs future, you're doing nothing wrong. Looks like some of these lot would sell their granny than their tv to pay a bill.

LizzieS_2

Freebie_Hunter wrote: »

Looks like some of these lot would sell their granny than their tv to pay a bill.

Personally I see people are looking at this from different perspectives over what could be a real crisis.

To give an absolute extreme example, your mortgage is in arrears, one more missed payment and eviction is going to happen, you've used all your own savings, you are not yet at the 13 week stage where you can claim some of the future mortgage interest via IS, you lost your job a few weeks ago and didn't qualify for redundancy and are struggling to find any job.

Your child has 2K in their account. Would you borrow some to retain the roof over all your heads until the mortgage interest kicks in (or get a job if sooner), or would you make yourselves homeless where the council may judge it to be intentional?

Penny-Pincher!!

I think as soon as you apply for any financial help, you sign to allow them full access to your bank accounts etc anyway.

bestpud

ladyrider260 wrote: »

We both said a similar thing, but in different words....so why am I the big, bad wolf?! I said I don't blame my parents. I just don't want our son to struggle like we do.

I think I'll just leave my son to live off the taxpayer when hes older.

But then I'd be stoned down for doing that. So it doesn't matter what I say, it'll always be picked to pieces & labelled as the wrong choice!
I can't win.

Now that is where we disagree entirely!

Why on earth should your son be at risk of being on benefits, just because you do not provide a nest egg for him?

What is wrong with him getting a job, earning money, and buying his own house/car/whatever, like most other people?

This is where I think your outlook is a bit odd. You do blame you parents for your situation and you do not want to make the same error, but it is flawed.

Your son is more at risk of a life on benefits if you don't teach him the value of hard work and personal responsibility. How is bringing him up to think someone else (parent or tax payer) is ultimately responsible for where he goes in life going to help?

If you can get him some money together then that is great and I hope he appreciates it for what it is.

However, a work ethic and sense of personal responsibility are things that cost nothing and will give him the best fighting start in the real world.

Money isn't everything and can even be a bad thing if he grows to think everyone owes him a living.

I hope you are able to do what you want but please don't beat yourself up if you cannot; it really doesn't mean your son is doomed to live a life on benefits.

aliasojo

briona wrote: »

I'm not suggesting taking back money from a 12 year old's account for example (at least not with explaining the need or the situation to them first) but I think you'll agree that a 5 month old has no need for savings whatsoever nor any concept of money, so if it was a choice between paying the gas bill or leaving money in a baby's account, I would have no qualms about paying my gas bill...

So this is an age thing? It's ok to take money in some situations? Where do you draw the line?

Can I ask why no-one has replied to my post above please? I'm genuinely curious.

Here's another (slightly hypothetical but has some basis in truth) situation. Disabled son....requires care, will never be able to work. Certain amount of savings built up slowly over many years for his future needs when parents are dead for example. Ok to take his money too? What if the money can't be repaid? What if parents are low earners and will never have the kind of cash needed to repay?

Again, imo, not a clear cut situation.

I'm still a little surprised that everyone is saying 'yes, use the child's money' regardless. To be fair to Briona, she seems to be the only one so far that has even acknowledged the difference in certain situations.

One last point I'd like to make is today's world is completely different from the one we might have known when we left school or home. Even within the last few months there have been so many redundancies the market is saturated with people seeking work. Not everyone is college or university material and whilst many will leave school and be lucky in their work search, many will not. Young disillusioned skint people are a worrying part of today's society imo. It's all very well saying it's important for people to stand on their own two feet etc, but our economy is in troubled times, I really think youngsters are going to have it harder starting off than we ever did.

Oldernotwiser

aliasojo wrote: »

One last point I'd like to make is today's world is completely different from the one we might have known when we left school or home. Even within the last few months there have been so many redundancies the market is saturated with people seeking work. Not everyone is college or university material and whilst many will leave school and be lucky in their work search, many will not. Young disillusioned skint people are a worrying part of today's society imo. It's all very well saying it's important for people to stand on their own two feet etc, but our economy is in troubled times, I really think youngsters are going to have it harder starting off than we ever did.

My parents grew up in the Depression, without the benefits of a welfare state. I don't see today's young people facing anything of that magnitude, do you?

aliasojo

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

My parents grew up in the Depression, without the benefits of a welfare state. I don't see today's young people facing anything of that magnitude, do you?

Those were indeed extreme times oldernotwiser. I was not intending making a comparison to times such as those. I obviously should have stated so.