The revenge of the stripey socks - a DFW adventure

paybacktime2008

Have you thought of doing 'proper' b and b with a eco twist...reckon it would be a money spinner. You could call it 'Stripy sock sanctuary' and run workshops in creating nutricous declicous family meals from the contents of a mad womans freezer.

Piquant_2

unixgirluk wrote: »

When I lived down south my flatmate had a boyfriend who was into catwoman (Michelle Pffeifer or however you spell it!), so she insisted we go to SoHo and get a PVC catsuit for her. Only once there she got all shy and insisted I go in and get her a catsuit, now I'm tiny and at the time had short traffic light red hair and she was VERY tall. So the looks I got asking for something in her size said it all. We searched everywhere and could not get her a bull whip. Even the shop in Soho that catered for those that frequented a club called "Torture Garden" (don't ask please don't ask, the assistant got quite excited and told us....yep she got no choice I dragged her in.....don't mess with fire haired...albeit dyed pixie goth....all about the Torture Garden), didn't have any but managed to sell her a riding crop, this thing was fierce and I mean fierce!!!!

On the night she decided to don all this I was in and had decided on an early night. In hindsight I really should have gone out. The noises I heard well tried to blot out, then I heard a yell (preceeded by a swishing sound), then them both yelling, a thump, then a very loud cracking sound, followed by a crash and lots of screaming and i mean screaming!!!!!

I realised something was wrong and ran next door, it took me a second to lose the rabbit lost in headlights look as I tried to take it the scary scene.

Seems they'd gotten carried away, she climbed onto her dressing table (which was bolted to the side of the wardrobe) and was going to pounch on him with this crop. She lost her footing brought dressing table and wardrobe with her on top of him. The bed frame collapsed too leaving them in a mess of broken wood. I finally managed to extract them and took them to hospital. Both apart from splinters in delicate places were fine.

I just spent the evening denying I knew them at the hospital (they were still in costume).

When she moved out she left behind one thing ..... the crop.... with a note attached to it. "Brought too much bad luck leaving it here". .....Yeah, gee thanks!!!!!

I have often thought that there is an extra source of income to had from a riding crop and with an added bonus of getting the housework done for you. I believe the job has a certain notoriety attached to it, but it would get the debt figure down quite quickly...

If the gentlemen want to to be smacked on their bare bottoms, or wearing unusual outfits, whichever rings their bell Why not get them, whilst they're already on their hands and knees, to wash the kitchen floor for you. Similarly, perhaps the grass could be cut with scissors....all to the accompanying slap of the crop.

paybacktime2008

And it sounds like you have a remote house so noone will hear their screams and you have lots of lovely whippy willow to boot.......

elantan

paybacktime2008 wrote: »

Afternoon. I have a slightly...actually very anal budget. Have a little section for all sorts of things.Some are paid by direct debit others by taking a set amount of cash out each week (food, fags, petrol). For some I transfer a set amount to a savings account and on another page have little sub headings...i.e car insurance. The hope being I will never have to use a credit card again. Bagof compost that turned into a £50 spend or on one occassion a rabbit, hutch and all the bubbins are a thing of the past. Go to the corner shop to buy milk with £2 you'll buy milk. Go with a card you'll buy allsorts. Working this out made me realise just how little money i had 'floating around' each month. I have a hard back book, gold and glittery, and spend happy hours gazing at columns of figures and realising with glee that telly license was only 9.95 this month whereas I had budgeted 12.00 so had an extra 2.05 to throw at some debt. I am easily pleased and excited...especially where riding crops are concerned;)

If you want the details (of my budget not my crop activities!) I'm happy to share but it may well be my own personal perversion that enjoys the number crunching.

Have you got a website for your plants.....I have a small budget from school to buy some stuff so I would be happy to help you out.

i really really need to sit down and budget i waste so much money ...i trully do

Uniscots97

Piquant wrote: »

I have often thought that there is an extra source of income to had from a riding crop and with an added bonus of getting the housework done for you. I believe the job has a certain notoriety attached to it, but it would get the debt figure down quite quickly...

If the gentlemen want to to be smacked on their bare bottoms, or wearing unusual outfits, whichever rings their bell Why not get them, whilst they're already on their hands and knees, to wash the kitchen floor for you. Similarly, perhaps the grass could be cut with scissors....all to the accompanying slap of the crop.

I'm sitting here (in work) laughing so hard I have tears running down my face. Not one I want to explain!

Pippilongstocking

lilian1977 wrote: »

Hi Fay

Just read all 7 pages with a big smile on my face, cheered me up no end on a Friday afternoon at work - a Friday afternoon that has not, as promised, transformed into FAT FRIDAY (ie no pastries have materialised in the office. Bah)

Will subscribe, can't wait for updates! You are living my dream xx

Oh Lillian - you made me giggle - where are the cakes?????

AND - you DONT want my life
- its all hats and gloves,
hair styles that last for 2 seconds in the wind,
same re make-up (nothing like a force 8 to remove stubborn waterproof mascara the minute you walk out the door)
- no bloke (up here),
no family (aside the kids)
and no money!!!!!!!!

according to this thread I also have:

somewhat dodgy freezer contents (the jack snipe is currently in the fridge)
a somewhat 'open' mind when it comes to trying anything (steady there you chaps with crops NOT THAT)
a nasty revenge streak (um sorry moral judgement)
clearly an S and M theme _ no BD in it yet - but give it time
huge debts
and too many wellies

...........and two children who to be fair have never had an issue with odd things being in the freezer or asking for g pigs to reside there 'til we get sorted. So I have clearly deranged them too:rotfl:


I do however have you lovely lot though - even if you are discussing stingy things inbetween my writing about 'energy policy', biomass for heat, agricultural diversification and how Orkney has not got alot of trees......................4678 words:D

Pippilongstocking

paybacktime2008 wrote: »

And it sounds like you have a remote house so noone will hear their screams and you have lots of lovely whippy willow to boot.......

nowt is ever whippy and lovely in the same sentence


my energy willows are far too big and fierce for that malarky (willing them to grow - )

Don't have a website for plants - often thought of it - but tended to do farmers markets etc.

I have worked at various nurseries, all over the place, generally as a dogsbody or as a propagator. Growing stuff is what I do best:D

Maybe that is something to think about?? Do they cost alot? Websites I mean - let me know what kind of plants you are interested in - I can direct you to a suitable (?) supplier - it might even be ME

Pippilongstocking

Piquant wrote: »

I have often thought that there is an extra source of income to had from a riding crop and with an added bonus of getting the housework done for you. I believe the job has a certain notoriety attached to it, but it would get the debt figure down quite quickly...

If the gentlemen want to to be smacked on their bare bottoms, or wearing unusual outfits, whichever rings their bell Why not get them, whilst they're already on their hands and knees, to wash the kitchen floor for you. Similarly, perhaps the grass could be cut with scissors....all to the accompanying slap of the crop.

Piq - you are currently so in the wrong job - you (from your tone) would be awesome at this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You'd be debt free by end of 2009:p

MichH

I subscribed to your thread yesterday, but didn't have time to read it properly. Very quiet at work today (most of Bristol has grinded to a halt because of the snow), so read the thread. Been sat here with tears rolling down my face! Cheered me up at the end of a rubbish week, so thank you everybody! I look forward to more instalments.
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

MichH

Forgot to add - good luck fayjmck. Looks like your on the right road with your debt repayments.

fayjmck