MSE Pregnancy Club V

Triggles

oh - greent - quedgely isn't that far from in-laws - wonder if I can talk DH into an extra visit to his parents on Monday? yummmmm.... thanks for that!

saturday kitchen was interesting today - that meat pie looked sooooo goood!

SugarSpun

Due early August, married in three weeks (yesterday! 20 days to go...)

Now I can't find the damned oranges. I bet he put them in the fridge and they'll be horrible.

We've already acquired a whole lot of baby things. I want a sling to wear the beastie around the house and have my hands free, but other than that all we'll need is nappies and an au pair. I want an au pair *stamps feet*

greent

Triggles wrote: »

oh - greent - quedgely isn't that far from in-laws - wonder if I can talk DH into an extra visit to his parents on Monday? yummmmm.... thanks for that!

saturday kitchen was interesting today - that meat pie looked sooooo goood!

Unfortunately tai Pan is only open on BH Mondays , not 'regular' Mondays (not sure of many chinese takeaways open on Mondays). V yummy though. We usually have the meal for 2 (changing 1 or 2 dishes) and it does 4 :money:

greent
x

Triggles

Ah -good to know - I will have to plan carefully to get us in the area on another day of the week - thanks!

greent

feelinggood wrote: »

Here you go, this is what a lady looks like at 29+4:

Have quoted, but taken out links - feelie you look fab - and very happy :T

greent
x

Auzelia

im officially overdue!!!!!!

Sami_Bee

SugarSpun wrote: »

GRRRR.

My OH brought me an enormous bag of fresh lychees last night. I ate a couple and went to bed, just gone to get the bag and there are six of them rattling around in the bottom and a giant pile of lychee peels beside his computer.

I really, really wanted them, too. I'm going to have to eat oranges now instead and they won't be as good.

AND he's gone back to bed, but there's a pile of stuff to take to the recycling centre which closes at 3pm and I can't do any of the heavy lifting.

AND his stag party is tonight, which is no doubt why he's sleeping, to store it all up........ GRRRR. I had the most depressing hen night ever, I was completely sober because wine gives me heartburn, one friend turned up without her wedding ring with the announcement that she was moving into her mother's, another brought the news that a childhood friend of mine had died, and a third the news that someone I went to school with and stayed in loose Facebook touch with had been sent to prison for child pornography. And he gets beer and strippers. Damn it!

May i suggest booking yourself a male stripper to pop round tonight you could enjoy the sight from the comfort of your sofa :rotfl:

Sami_Bee

weezl74 wrote: »

hello all, ladies and bumps alike

wondered if anyone had found any cheap ways to replace the pads on a labour tens?

I've borrowed one, but I think the pads have seen better days, and I need those boys to stick!:D
...

I'm not sure about replacement pads although maybe try a company that hires and sells them or obviously ebay
If not you could try some micropore (sp?) tape available from all good supermarkets and pharmacies

Sami_Bee

janey_uk wrote: »

Not sure if this is allowed on here, but it brightened my inbox! Mods - no offence taken if this gets deleted!)

FOLLOW THESE 14 SIMPLE TESTS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN.

Test 1 - Preparation
Women: To prepare for pregnancy:
1. Put on a drressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.
Men: To prepare for children:
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2 – Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behavior.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3 – Nights
To discover how the nights will feel:
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4 - Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5 – Cars
1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6 - Going For a Walk
Wait. Go out the front door.
Come back in again. Go out.
Come back in again. Go out again.
Walk down the front path. Walk back up it.
Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps.
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk……..2 hours after you originally went to go out

Test 7 - Communication
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8 - Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children..

Test 9 - Feeding a 1 year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10 – TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Night Garden, CBeebies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11 – Mess
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor & leave it there.

Test 12 - Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13 - Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14 - Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work

You are now ready to have children. ENJOY :rotfl:

lalalalal;kcnkjbkjvbkfvb

Sami_Bee

OH just called my voice went funny coz I started crying (for silly hormonal reasons) and he just said in an annoyed tone "oh don't start crying" and put the phone down