MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you pay for no-show?

clouds21

Hello everyone,

Difficult dilemma. My gut feel is that I have agreed to pay £40 to have a set menu and pay no more. I am guessing that the drinks are not included in this scenario. My first reaction is also that I don't think it's my responsibility to pay for other people who didn't turn up.

However, it really depends on with whom I am dining. I invited a few of my closest friends out to a nice restaurant last year for my birthday, on (my)understanding that I would pay for the drinks and my meal, and they would only have to pay for their meals. I asked the waiter to split the bill accordingly and hand it to me when I got back from the Ladies'. Unfortunately, my friends intercepted both bills and split them between them, so that I ended up not paying at all. I was mortified. I still am. And from now on I shall endeavour to have celebrations in a way, whereby none of my guests are put in the above situation! I don't expect people to pay for an expensive meal and unequal drink consumption, and equally hope not to be put in a similar situation myself. However, with the above circle I now feel obliged to return the compliment if one of them organises a celebration meal in a restaurant, and of course, I would do it as a matter of thank-you.

I am happy to talk about money and splitting bills to the nearest penny because I just think it's grossly unfair otherwise. Friendships can end due to arguments over money, so why not just get the issue fair and square out in the open?

One thing I miss from my home country is that the waiting staff are capable of doing simple arithmetic and giving each person their breakdown of the bill instead of expecting their guests to work the split out themselves! The number of times I have seen staff hand over a calculator here in even the most sophisticated restaurants, it's just wrong!

clouds21

clouds21

Oh, and don't get me started on kitties!!!!!

pinkkaz

corn_uk wrote: »

Then probally charged £20 per person that not turned up. (if they were nice about it.) Or £40 per person (if they were rude) AT the end of the day Restaurants are a business and need to make money. Espically in todays enviroment.

So in fact it wouldn't be a business decision, it would be a decision based on how nice they are?

Primrose

Most of these social occasions usually unfortunately include somebody who doesn't have a sense of fairness. I always remember one "work" dinner where the boss had previously charged the group meals to his expense account because they were "work-related". One subsequent occasion was booked as a social evening and it was implicit we would all pay for the cost of our own meal. When the bill arrived one individual suddenly realised he would have to pay for himself and muttered "If I'd realised that I wouldn't have chosen the lobster!". When I was growing up, as a matter of good manners, I was always taught that if you knew somebody else was hosting a meal when eating out, to choose the cheapest item on the menu. So I HATE those posh restaurants where only the host is handed a menu which displays the prices. . On such rare occasions I'm usually tempted to stare the waiter in the eye with a steely glare and say "I think you may have given me the wrong menu. Could I have the other one please".

Gavin83

corn_uk wrote: »

I think that this shows a total lack of understanding on the restaurant business.

1. The food should not be allowed to leave the restaurant. This is due to the fact that the restaurant is legally liable if a person get ill from that food due to improper cooling or reheating or storage.
2. How do you know that the food would be reused?? Food goes OFF is can not be kept forever. In restaurants wastage of food due to going off, (due to many different reasons) is one of the bigger costs.
3. Restaurants don't rely on the "embarrassment" factor. They rely on the Money factor. The restaurant will staff the place, buy in the food for that number of people. If less come they will make less money, thus meaning they will not make a profit.
4. The MORAL DILEMMA states that it is a set menu. that normally means that the items have been bought in JUST for that MEAL. If the restaurant stated in advance that it was £40 per person Non-refundable. Then it would be no different than if you booked theatre tickets and did not show up, or booking an airline ticket and not showing up or even booking a hotel room and not using it.

If it was me and my resturant I would weigh a few different factors. If they are regulars, whether they were rude about the whole issue, how much liquor they have used.

Then probally charged £20 per person that not turned up. (if they were nice about it.) Or £40 per person (if they were rude) AT the end of the day Restaurants are a business and need to make money. Espically in todays enviroment.

I think people saying they feel the restaurant should waive the fee are being a little unfair. It is a business after all and if it was stated that it was a non refundable set menu then why should the restaurant change it's policy just to suit the diners? They were well aware of this before they went and therefore it should be paid.

In that respect if I was in that position I'd pay the restaurant the full amount without question but I'd ask for the extra food. If they refused to give this to me then I wouldn't pay it, simple as that. I'd pay for the food we received, give them my telephone number and ask them to contact me if there's a problem.

In answer to the original question I'd be willing to split it with the hosts presuming they were friends but would expect my money back once the no shows paid up. I guess these things happen and I'd be fine with it as long as they paid.

Im quite surprised at the amount of people who'd expect the hosts to foot the entire bill. Whenever my group of friends go out for someones birthday, etc we all pay for our own food, including the person who's celebrating. I could understand everyone paying for the hosts meal being their special event but I find the host having to foot the bill for everyone a slightly bizarre concept. Strangely though I'd consider weddings and funerals differently but I wouldn't put these into the same category as birthdays and anniversaries.

rojov

I hate it when ppl say they shouldnt split the bill because they dont drink. Fair enough if they drink tap water all night but non alcoholic drinks are often more expensive than alcoholic ones. I often drink wine and a bottle of wine shared with a friend in lots of places will cost less overall then someone drinking fresh orange and lemonade or j2o's and the like.

I think if ppl order a particularly expensive meal or drink a lot more than others they should be decent enough to chip in a bit more, perhaps offering to cover more of the service charge or something. I dont think they should have ppl complaining at them and forcing them to do it. I wouldnt stay friends with someone for long who always picked the most expensive thing and drunk the most without offering a little more but at the same time I would happily pay a little more than my exact meal and drinks as Im sure it would even out on another meal.

If I invited friends to a party then I would expect to pay for food and entertainment. However if I asked them to join me for a meal on my Birthday unless it was stated otherwise I would expect ppl to pay their own. I would however make it perfectly clear how much the meal was going to cost and would try not to choose an over priced restaurant that was going to stretch my friends finances.

If the organisers of this meal had organised it properly they would have made it clear that even if you didnt show up you still had to pay for your meal. Therefore although I may help cover the unpaid share of the bill if the organiser didnt have that much money avaliable to them I would expect them to get the money back from the no shows and pay me back.

stars_bright

I am usually the organiser of our works meals out. I make sure that we always have a fixed price menu so there is no arguement about people having different priced meals. The restaurant usually asks for a deposit of about £10 each which I collect from everyone who wants to go before I book it. This is usually returnable by the restauranat if they cancel up to 48 hours in advance. Then I collect the rest of the money beforehand. That way if anyone doesn't turn up there is no problem. However do have a problem in that I always drive and it is taken for granted that a) I will give lifts to up to 4 other people and b) pay an equal share of the alcohol bill. I have tried to avpoid this in the past by stating clearly beforehand that I am drinking tap water all night and therefore not paying towardsthe drinks, everyone agreed this was fair until it came to the drinks bill arriving, when it was divded up between everyone. At this pont Isaid that I hadn't been drinking and someone else said "well neither have I but I am still paying" I found this very unfair since she is my manager and earns at least 5 times what I earn so she ca afford it. I have started to avoid the meals out now, which is a shame because I used to enjoy them and it makes me seem anti-social.

greenface

stars_bright wrote: »

At this pont Isaid that I hadn't been drinking and someone else said "well neither have I but I am still paying" I found this very unfair since she is my manager and earns at least 5 times what I earn so she ca afford it. I have started to avoid the meals out now, which is a shame because I used to enjoy them and it makes me seem anti-social.

and if she was the cleaner you would have paid for her yes.
5x ?? salary all eaten the same food
anti-social tight a*se;)

awehla

I certainly wouldn't pay for the no shows, those six people should all pay for not going, it's the least they can do. Even if I had a cold or something and couldn't go because of that I would pay my friend as I'd feel too guilty to let other people pay for me.

awehla

Sunny_Saver wrote: »

I agree, it's for the hosts to collect the owed money, not for guests to have to cough up for those who didn't show.

The hosts should have made it clear to everyone that it's £40 per head and if anyone doesn't show after booking they still have to pay.

Having said that, if the hosts invited us, shouldn't they be paying?

Well the average income people I know wouldn't pay for everyone if it's dinner at a restaurant, obviously if you are cooking for people in their home that's different, but most people these days split the bill when going to restaurants.