MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you pay for no-show?

Tiddles12

We had a similar situation last Christmas - 5 people out of 35 didn't come to the office meal because they all had flu. The meals (£25 each) had already been paid for unfortunately and the restaurant refused to refund. We asked if, as a compromise we could put the money behind the bar instead and this suggestion was also turned down because "the food has already been ordered in for your party". So we told them to cook the extra meals and bring them out to us, which they did. It made us feel a bit better but frankly the food mostly went to waste and considering that cost of sales was probably around 25% they still did alright out of us.

Josie64

Bobl wrote: »

Yes, I would pay the extra. It clearly says the hosts can't afford it. They are in a no win situation and I would value my friendship with them more than the extra money.

Unfortunately there are plenty of people who don't care about others, I have organised work parties where it was clear that the bill would be shared, only to have arguments on the night with people who insisted on only paying for what they ate/drank. You soon learn not to invite those people again.

me and hubby once went on one of these ' share the bill' night's out, hubby wasn't drinking as he was driving and we didn't have a pudding yet we were still expected to pay our full share of the bill for those who got drunk and had a pudding, it's not a matter of caring about others, why should we pay for others to have a good night out at our expense?

Now we go out with proper friends who don't mind paying for their own meals and drinks and don't think we are being 'funny or mardy' or whatever....

snootyjim

I'd leave them with £60 on the understanding that they'd chase up the people who didn't turn up for the money, and return the £20 to me later. If I didn't get it in the end, then that's just too bad and I would expect the people who didn't pay up never to be seen again, and rightly so.

The reason I say this is because the fact that I'm leaving early shouldn't exempt me from solving the problem - if I only fork out £40, then the remaining people now owe even more money, which isn't fair - they aren't going to be able to leave without paying.

EDIT: As noted previously, I would expect them to provide the food and drink that had been paid for.

Bristow

Get a non refundable deposit from everyone.
If I had friends like this I wouldn't want to go.

Taffybiker

Yes, I probably would pay the extra on this occasion for the sake of my friends. If they were not good friends I would not have agreed to go in the first place.
That being said, any gathering of this nature is usually paid to the organiser in advance. If someone doesn't turn up for whatever reason, then they lose the money but not their friends.

marvic_2

yes I would pay as I would not leave my friends in the lurch, but I wouldn't be be happy with the lot that didn't turn up. It should been made clear at the start If you did not show you still had to pay:beer:

pineapple

Absolutely would not pay. That's assuming I had not been warned beforehand that this was the arrangement and that it might happen. That would be different. Sorry but it looks like my friends have been exceedingly dimm . It's very rare that at least one person doesn't pull out of this sort of thing. That's why people pay deposits - or even the whole cost in advance.
It is up to the restaurant and the hosts to sort this one out. It's their responsibility. If I was in their position, I wouldn't have the gall to expect my guests to fork out - however hard up I was. £17 on top of £40 is outrageous.
Ps I'm glad people brought up the issue of sharing unequal costs. I'm happy to split the difference between meals as it seems to be a bit churlish adding up what each individual had. But to me, drinks are a whole other issue. I have some friends who like to down pub shorts whereas I am happy to sit with a half of something or other. I'm afraid I now just back out of the whole 'round' thing. I can't afford to be lumbered with a bill of £30 when all I had was a tomato juice and a half of Guinness!

liz-paul

I would pay up for the sake of my friends. This sort of thing happens all the time & I agree you really need to get momey in advance but tbh it can be difficult/embarressing. If I knew the people who hadn't shown, I'd chase them down for the money.
And I would have no problem about being invited out for dinner & expected to pay for it myself. It's not a party, its a meal in a restaurant. Everyone paid for their own stuff on my hen weekend for example even though I 'invited' them. Nobody would ever invite anyone to anything if they were always expected to pay for eveybody!

oldjagman

I would not let a friend down and, should I not be able to attend, would offer my share of the cost. By the same token I would share in a whip round to cover the shortfall. This would also colour my future relationship with the defaulters.

As for the alternate discussion as to whether or not it is reasonable to be asked to contribute in the first place; not all of us are so well placed that we can afford the total cost of such a celebration.

PS We got married in Las Vegas and no way were we going to pay for anyone to attend from the UK so we threw a beano at my Golf Club at which we paid for everything apart from the bar.

x_clare_bear_x

It sounds terrible but if there was an assumption by the hosts that we would cover the costs for them, then I wouldn't be prepared to pay. However, I would happily pay for some of our friends, as I know that they'll repay me in the future somehow, even if it's just with their time and their gratitude.

I'm not a big drinker either so I hate when people try to split the bill equally. I was once persuaded to go out for a meal with collegues even though I was broke. I bought the cheapest thing on the menu and drank tap water. My meal came to £7 in total but I was asked to pay closer to £20. In the end I had to refuse simply because I didn't have the money.

It also annoys me when people expect you to chip in for a tip when you've had poor or indifferent service.