MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you pay for no-show?

MORPH3US

ferf1223 wrote: »

not once has anyone said 'oh, hey, you guys didn't have any wine so you should chip in less'...

When we go out with friends, I always speak up on behalf of people like you, because I am usually in the same boat too.... (fortunately we have considerate friends who know the score anyway).

I am a serial tight !!!!! and so usually go for a cheaper meal unless i'm feeling flush.... but some of our other friends always go for the most expensive dishes on the menu and drink copious amounts of wine (which is fine) but then expect to chip in the same as everyone else.

My gf is a vegetarian too which means her dishes are usually always a lot cheaper so not fair on her.

MrsE_2

Bobl wrote: »

Yes, I would pay the extra. It clearly says the hosts can't afford it. They are in a no win situation and I would value my friendship with them more than the extra money.

Unfortunately there are plenty of people who don't care about others, I have organised work parties where it was clear that the bill would be shared, only to have arguments on the night with people who insisted on only paying for what they ate/drank. You soon learn not to invite those people again.

If everyone was prepared to pay for what they ate & drank then their wouldn't be a problem:rolleyes:
Its only a problem when those who have drank more & eaten more expensive things on the menu expect others to subsidise their night out that this is a problem.:rolleyes:

The the OP, I would only pay my share. Its not my fault the couple invited people who are unreliable & likely to book & not show, plus if its compulsory that no shows paid, they should have taken the £40 off each as a deposit. The couple handled the booking badly.

Primrose

I personally wouldn't dream of expecting guests to pay to attend a personal celebration. If you've invited them, you should pay for them. If you can't afford to do so, either have a DIY celebration at home or forego the celebration. However, I'd certainly feel miffed if I'd paid £40 under such circumstances and then be asked to pay for those who didn't show but would probably pay to avoid ruining my friends' evening. However, I'd probably feel resentful about it and be "engaged elsewhere" if I received a subsequent invitation with the possibility of encountering the same situation again. If you're hosting such a celebration, it's your duty to let your guests know in advance exactly how the payment works out. You could put your guests in a very embarrassing situation if they were short of money but had made sarifices elsewhere so that they could have been with you on your special evening.

SuzySF

I had this happen to me a few years ago - it was clearly stated it was a "get together" and everyone paid. It was not an offer of a party as some have read here..just to clarify.

I got depostis of £10, and confirmed the evening before by ringing everyone that they were all coming - as it was there were 7 no-shows - and the restaurant charged us for all covers - as that was what we booked (even more galling was that some of the no-shows had preorderd due to diet requirements !!!)

I did ring them all asking for the full amount owed, no one complained to me, but i made sure ever since that if I do organise something I get the money IN FULL before the event......

and like the previous post - i dont drink, I too hate the even split of a bill when out with friends - I have 3 friends but two of them will have a bottle of wine (at least, plus bar drinks) it usually accounts for between 5 and 10£ extra on my bill....so I said i will pay for my own and thats what I've done. I cant afford to subsidise their night out.......

scoots78

Yes I would pay as its a celebration & I wouldnt want to ruin the night as those who didnt show already had done. As for expecting guests to pay for a personal celebration I have no problem with this and do it regularly for my own and friends celebrations, not everyone can afford to feed & water their guests but still want to them to join the celebrations. If its for a close friend then I have no problem with paying as long as they dont choose a stupidly priced location. In this case I will make my excuses & join them for a belated & more wallet friendly drink down the local.

pinkkaz

Luckily the friends I go out with most often are friends from uni, so we are perfectly used to being tightwads and only paying for what we eat/drink!

In the OPs case, I would pay the extra, because your friends can't afford to pay for all 6, but I would first inform the couple as to what was going on in case they wanted to dispute it with the restaurant. If the extra did have to be paid though, I'd expect a refund from the couple once they'd got a refund off their friends.

How rude to just not turn up to something though!

Penny_Pincher_37

I agree that I would discuss with the hosts - I think they should be trying to reclaim from the missing people. I certainly don't think it's right that everyone else should have to cough up extra. I have also learnt that you need to get money upfront in case people don't turn up. Had a similar experience in the summer when I arranged a minibus and some people agreed to join in but then didn't turn up. I was going to have to pay the extra myself but luckily the minibus company understood the dilemma and actually didn't charge the full price - I was very grateful but felt bad that they missed out because of others' selfishness. How difficult is it to say in advance you can't make something so the restaurant/minibus/whoever didn't have to make a no-show charge?

JayD

I would hope that those who did show up would unite in challenging the restaurant for imposing such a harsh penalty for the no shows and hopefully agree a lower compensatory amount. I would be willing for this to be divided equally between us and to pay my share of it on top of my own £40.

There is always room to negotiate and I would not expect my hosts to foot the bill alone. If they can recoup from the no shows later, then I am confident they would refund to those of us who have forked out.

98jdougl

I don't think I would pay extra, I would have had to budget and do without stuff for my $40 (or £80 for the tw of us) and wouldn't be able to afford the extra £17 each and probably wouldn't have it with me

KarrieBee

ferf1223 wrote: »

not once has anyone said 'oh, hey, you guys didn't have any wine so you should chip in less'...in a lot of cases the wine which we did not drink has effectively doubled our 'share' of the meal...and that's a bit ridiculous.

I think that is really terrible of the people you eat out with. A lot of our friends don't drink, either due to babies, driving or disinclination and when we eat out we split the food bill but the drinkers cover the alcohol as that is really the only fair way given the cost of drinking in restuarants.

In answer to the original question IF i could afford to I would chip in the extra and be having words with the no-shows but to be honest I think if you invite people to a party you really should foot the bill/or chose somehere more affordable to a wide range of budgets.
I wouldn;t really feel comfortable asking friends to pay for my celebration but equally I would pay if they wanted me to - I'm obviously a numpty!:rolleyes: