MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you pay for no-show?

tara747

harryferguson wrote: »

You don't pay to go to a party where someone is celebrating something in their life! Would you pay to go to a wedding or funeral? I don't think so.

Are you kidding? Weddings cost a fortune to attend these days!!!!!!!! :mad:

igpjap

Of course one would make up the difference. Can hardly be considered a friend if you didn't. I would certainly comment to those who did not attend assuming they did not have a real and valid excuse.

Overcome the problem with money upfront, true friends would not be offended or concerned by such a request.

Bobl

Yes, I would pay the extra. It clearly says the hosts can't afford it. They are in a no win situation and I would value my friendship with them more than the extra money.

Unfortunately there are plenty of people who don't care about others, I have organised work parties where it was clear that the bill would be shared, only to have arguments on the night with people who insisted on only paying for what they ate/drank. You soon learn not to invite those people again.

andy40

Yes, having organised it I would feel obligated to make up the extra.
I have arrange a couple of birthday meals (for myself) in the past and when it comes to sorting out the bill (which is split) their is usually a shortfall and I have to make it up. I now only have arrange such meals for very small (4) groups of people.

Susan_Frost

If I had been told (not read it in some small print) before hand that that was the arrangement, then, yes I would cough up.

However I would not have agreed to go in the first place cos it was such a stupid way of arranging things. I would have suggested they got all the money in first. Maybe that is why the couple cannot afford much, they are obviously hopeless with money matters.

If I did not know, and it was dropped on me, my thoughts are that I would not pay.

But I had a similar thing years ago with a staff christmas meal, where people threw their money on the table and went off to the pub and there was a big shortfall when it was counted up - so I did in fact put in quite a bit extra cos the girl who arranged it would have had to make it up. They did agree to waive the service charge. The boss put in about £50 extra !!!

It was the guys from one department who went off who were out of order. A deposit had been paid. A lot of bad feeling created, but they did not care. They just thought it funny.

I've no problem with paying for something like a meal out, not everyone can afford to fund a party, and I would rather have the celebration. But if I arrange something, like my hen night, it would be something within everyone's means.

udlsechica

This kind of thing drives me nuts - I would never hold a party and expect my friends to cough up money to pay for it. The host should always pay for the party. Maybe some of the friends didn't show because they didn't have the money for 40 GBP a head and felt bad about it. Especially for a couple, 80 GBP is a lot to pay for a night out! I'd prefer to give a gift to the hosts.

The other thing is that where I grew up (mid-Atlantic in the US) we always pay for what we eat at restaurants. So when the bill comes, we pass it around and calculate what we each individually owe. I think that is the most fair way to pay for a bill.

I'm not much of a drinker, so I inevitably end up subsidizing other people's drinks when I go out in the UK. It's incredibly frustrating because if my husband and I went out alone, eating out would be affordable. I know it is expected that people split the bill and pay for rounds here, but I just wish that others would consider that some people can't afford to subsidize their expensive habits.

LCFC_Foxile

If the six missing people had confirmed that they were going to turn up but then didn't...then they should be paying-up.

Imagine if even more people didn't turn up - the average per head would be even higher!

ferf1223

I would pay the difference because I wouldn't want my friends to get stuck with paying it, but I agree that it's not the most ideal way to have organized the event. as far as the idea that hosts should always pay for their own guests, some people don't have the means to do so and if the guests accepted the invitations knowing that £40/head would be required then I don't see the problem.

udlsechica wrote: »

I'm not much of a drinker, so I inevitably end up subsidizing other people's drinks when I go out in the UK. It's incredibly frustrating because if my husband and I went out alone, eating out would be affordable. I know it is expected that people split the bill and pay for rounds here, but I just wish that others would consider that some people can't afford to subsidize their expensive habits.

hear, hear. I don't mind splitting a bill equally if there's not alcohol involved as the differences between what people order are usually minimal...but I don't drink much and never drink wine and neither does my husband...the times we've ended up paying vastly more than our share due to multiple bottles of wine being consumed by our fellow diners means we usually decline the invitation anymore...not once has anyone said 'oh, hey, you guys didn't have any wine so you should chip in less'...in a lot of cases the wine which we did not drink has effectively doubled our 'share' of the meal...and that's a bit ridiculous.

MORPH3US

I would pay the extra to be fair to my friends and then go home and sulk about it....

Oh and as someone above said above, I would argue the toss with the restaurant to waive the extras and if they insisted that we had to pay for the no-shows then i'd say I wanted all of the food served for the no shows we had to pay for.....

Oh and all the people saying they'd never pay to go to someone's party.... glad you're not my friends.... (sorry but i'm speaking my mind)

We are always out with friends celebrating special occasions. If its someone's birthday, they'll say "oh i'm going out for a meal at the weekend for my birthday, do you want to come"..... our friends would never expect us to pay for them and we would never expect them to pay for us.... If they / we did, we would never afford to go out, because 20 x £40 is £800.... as if anyone could afford to pay that out in one go.....

girleight@

I think I would expect the hosts to pay and then recoup the money from the absent guests. If this was not going to occur then I would put the money in but I'd feel aggrieved and would be wary of getting into the same situation in future with those friends. I also hate it when people leave a large party without putting enough money down and I hate nit picking over exact prices. However I think it's good manners to take the cost of booze off for non drinkers!