MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Would you pay for no-show?

seven-day-weekend

I would have politely refused the meal in the first place at £40 a head.

And in the unlikely event that I did go, I would not pay for someone who didn't.

If the hosts couldn't afford it, they shouldn't be going to meals costing £40 a head.

meeagi

People! Of COURSE You should pay - the key word here is FRIENDS!

:T

The no-shows may have a perfectly good reason for not turning up, but even if they don't would you really want the newly-weds' celebrations marred by a bill that you KNOW they can't afford?

To have the rest of their friends "ditch" them as unceremoniously as the no-shows did would be great wouldn't it? No. So - OF COURSE we'd all chip in, and once the reasons for the no-shows established the newly-weds (being friends) would have a word and collect cash due and distribute amongst those that stumped up to cover the restaurant bill.... thats what friends do!

:beer:

eaytjb

whowants2brich - "What I'd do is put my £80 into a pot, spend it on decent ingredients and host people at home. £4 per head is definitely doable for a nice home-cooked meal."

This is certainly a good idea if you have the space at home to host 20 people, I know this would be a tight squeeze in my flat!

For me, all the people suggesting that paying to go to someone's celebration is unreasonable are taking money saving a little too far! When we go out for someone's b'day, anniversary etc, the only ones who don't pay are those celebrating, after all it is their special day not yours, why should you be treated to free dinner?!

I guess at the end of the day friendship groups have their own way of doing things and it works out as fair if everyone does things in the same way.

In answer to the question, assuming the group's habit was to split the costs, and if that I had the money available, I would pay up the extra £17. If it would put me in difficulty then I would not, and would expect the hosts to
pay and reclaim the money from the no-shows...

Solomon_Broad

I wouldn't pay.

Firstly, if someone has invited me to a party, they should pay for it. When you visit a friend at home, you don't take tea bags with you, do you? I don't mind paying for a meal when we just go out as a bunch of friends, but if someone is inviting me to something with a moral obligation for me to go, then I don't see why I should pay. £40 is a lot of money for one meal!

Secondly, I am not responsible for someone else not turning up. The host should sort it out themselves as part of the responsibility of being the host, and then sort it out with the people who didn't turn up. They are the ones who should be paying like they agreed to do in the first instance.

LameWolf

udlsechica wrote: »

I'm not much of a drinker, so I inevitably end up subsidizing other people's drinks when I go out in the UK. It's incredibly frustrating because if my husband and I went out alone, eating out would be affordable. I know it is expected that people split the bill and pay for rounds here, but I just wish that others would consider that some people can't afford to subsidize their expensive habits.

I agree, but in my case, it's also that I don't eat as much as others. If I go out, a starter plus a small dessert is sufficient. Actually, I would probably have declined the invitation in the first place, as eating out in a group of 20 is a considerable ordeal as far as I'm concerned. Also, I cannot imagine any of my friends organising a trip to a restaurant that operated such a policy.

BubbleFrogette

I think I'd just pay the extra and be done with it for the sake of friendship.

Myself and a friend once organised a Christmas meal for 60 for a sports club. It was a set menu so everyone knew the price. We stated clearly that drinks were to be paid for up front and not added to the bill. Many people totally ignored this and ending up leaving for the pub before the bill was paid - we had a £360 shortfall to pay in total. Fortunately the club treasurer used club funds to foot it, which was so lucky. I was a student at the time and there was no way I could have made it up.

Needless to say the people responsible were personas non gratas with me after that.

OpinionatedBird

I am clearly missing something here. If I am invited to celebrate a wedding anniversary then I would expect the host to pay. If I invite someone to a function, whether at a restaurant or at my home, I expect to pay.

brokeinwales

I am clearly missing something here. If I am invited to celebrate a wedding anniversary then I would expect the host to pay. If I invite someone to a function, whether at a restaurant or at my home, I expect to pay.

I must be moving in different circles - whenever I get invited to anything I expect to pay for myself.I'd be (pleasantly) surprised if the hosts paid for me. In fact in most cases of celebration I've found that the other guests tend to pay the bill for the person celebrating (the birthday boy/girl, bride-to-be etc...).

Anyway, I'm wavering on what I'd do - probably I'd tell the hosts I only had £40 on me (which would likely be true anyway, as I try not to tempt fate by taking out extra cash!).

If I was feeling more generous I probably would have a go at striking up some kind of deal with the restaurant manager - ask if we could have the extra food, or another round of coffee or something. I understand they'd be within their rights to refuse, but there's nothing to be lost by asking and it'd soften the atmosphere a bit.

dbfisokay

Considering they are my friends and friends do not add to problems where they can diminish or contain them, I would, unless unable to, pay the additional cost. It has also to be remembered that by accepting the invitation, I would also be accepting the pre-stated policy of the restaurant.

Whilst the organising person(s) take responsibility for paying the bill-the attendant persons have a responsibility to forward the agreed amount to the organiser. Hence to not pay would be a breach of contract unless another contractual arrangement was made prior to the meal. Friendship often results in a less responsible attitudes towards contractual arrangements, however at the end of the day; if you agree to go; you agree to be responsible.

Technically, the No-shows are obliged to pay as well - unless they cancelled within an agreeed timeframe. That is standard practice in the world of business and eating out is a business transaction. Even if it a social occassion.

greenface

i would help pay the bill but insist that the restraunt included another table of six or four etc into our party. So at least someone gained instead of greedy restraunt owners . Also wouldnt go back there again