The Green Eyed Monster....

redglass_2

Cazzdevil wrote: »

I know of a couple who have taken out an IVA after getting into over £30k of unsecured debt. They're about to come into approximately £6k following a compensation claim and they're going to spend it all on a new car.

That's tragic. You'd think they'd at least have learnt something from their experiences! :eek:

Some of my friends with fancy cars and so on think I live a very deprived life. I suppose in their terms I do, and sometimes I've had bouts of jealousy seeing other women with lovely clothes, holidays etc. But I finally found the answer when I went (NOT a luxy holiday but staying free in someone's house) to an African country and saw people who would think me rich beyond their wildest dreams. They had such hard lives and were coping with such cheerfulness and dignity. If Ole Green Eyes starts up, I can stop it all by just thinking back to them. It makes me ashamed to be jealous.

Oh, and it helps if you don't read women's magazines and 'lifestyle' supplements. Never mind the articles about building your confidence or whatever, their real purpose is to make you desperate to buy stuff. Papers and magazines get much more income from the ads they carry than from the price you pay and the advertisers gladly pay it because they do very well out of the system. Nuff said.

juliaw

Don't feel guilty about the green eyed monster. You cannot be as bad as me. I could murder my older sisters, colleagues, old friends, etc. - why do you never hear from the poor ones? Is this the real problem - that those who are struggling to make ends meet keep their heads down?

waterwatcher

oh its soooo nice to know I'm not the only one. I have a sister with numerous houses in britain that she rents out and now a property in spain, a brother with a posh house and rental property too and there's me slogging along, paying my bills in a little terrace bungalow. But its my bungalow and i've done it all. I look at my sister now and realise she has what she has because of her husband and his family, I look at her husband and think I'd rather have what I have then to have to go to bed with him everynight! ha ha ha ha Sibling rivalry is a fantastic thing.

Fabulous thread, well done all

Nitha

All the time - mainly about my home. I'm never happy with it! Probably because it's so cluttered with all my rubbish stuff!

But I tend to use my friend (the one I envy particularly) as inspiration because I know she's worked damn hard and been damn sensible with her money and doesn't have the £235 monthly debt repayment I have holding her back.

JayJay14

Flickering_Ember wrote: »

My ex boyfriend was on £46K a year, and yet his "new" car which he got in 2007 was his MIL's old 2001-reg Nissan Almera, which still works and is such a nice car I plan to get one myself when I start driving (yes, it'll be second hand).


I drive a 13 year old Almera - bought it 5 years old and it starts every time even if it has been stood out all night in the ice. I am due to come in to some money soon from a compensation claim and for a while looked at new cars (even test drove a few). Luckily for me there has been a delay in the money coming cos I now realise that my old workhorse will probably keep going for ages yet and whats the good of a new car when I share the car park at work with refuse vehicles and gritters:rotfl:

And the moral is - if you do get tempted to spend, walk away and ask yourself if you really do want it.

steerpike

Can understand the jealousy...my OH & I both work long hours in full time but low paid jobs and use every strategy we can to make end meet. We know many couples who seem to be able to maintain a high spending lifestyle on one wage. We are complete mystified how they manage to do it - either they are accumulating massive debts or have very generous parents!

liuhut

BeccaG wrote: »

This thread is fantastic!

I'm naturally very cautious with money, as opposed to my little brother who spends like crazy. My parents wind me up about the fact that I don't like spending money, and will actively look for a bargain, but then like the earlier poster, I live in my own house which I love, have a mortgage which I want to get rid of as soon as possible, and no other debts. Yes, I might not be the most flashily dressed person, but I can sleep at night and I'm not worrying about debt.

This has given me new strength not to let my family wind me up, and I hope that everyone else can feel less jealous, as I know that I will be now too!!!

My family is EXACTLY the same, little brother who spends, spends, spends and they take the mick out of me too! However my mum has just had to help him out as he has got in soooo much trouble. I commented and said well at least you dont have to worry about me....not a comment since!!
Please dont let them get to you, you should take pride in how you are, I'm starting too

jenniewb

Yup, I'm right there with you OP- constantly jelous- I think I have it undercontrol, but it squeezes itself into another part of my life: either I am buying too much makeup, or too many clothes, or finding myelfe lokking a little too closely to those Stella McCartney bags....

I have no real income- I scratch at being able to make ends meet, I have enough for food and utilities and rent, but nothing else. It makes it harder that I am in London, supermarkets are hypermarkets (with everything from frozen food to fragarences and fitness clothes) and shops are open 24 hours! Its SO HARD to keep to a budget! this year, I am having to save to go bankrupt over £10K as I do not have the money to pay anything off nor offer any payments (the original loan amount I should add was £5000). Thats what happens when you lose your job then get ill and then get stuck...thats life.

I am now trying to insted of being jelous, focus my concerntration on working to be able to afford things; my main goal in these past weeks has been how can I save a little bit each day to one day buy a new pair of trainers or some stuff from Lush...I missed out on many of the sales I would have usually gone to this year through having no cash! (but did get some bits ) Its gutting: I thought I had £30 saved this month, then got wacked with £133 bank charges- for spending £20 over my limit (still don't know why banks dont bar your card once its gone over its overdraft limit).

Seriously, focus your attention on yourself- not on other people- its really made things easier for me: this is your life, not thiers, and its for you to be happy, not appear to be happy while seemingly have a breakdown over your bank statement!
Also, by spending so much time focusing on cutting back, trying to get the best deal and feeling the acheievement when you do suddenly, the things you wanted so badly really don't have as great an impact on your life. It takes some time (a few days) to get into that mindset, but once your there its so much easier.

thevinternet

Hey Fasci - looks like you've touched a nerve for many folk here!

I used to be like you, always trying to keep up with other people, and that's how I got into so much debt. However, I'm sorting it out now, and I haven't spent on any credit cards in a whole year!!

A friend of mine sadly is obsessed with celebrity treatments, having the best and looking her best. She always has her hair cut at top salons, buys the very best beauty products she sees in magazines, and has even had liposuction. Now she's 120k in debt at the age of 32, and her life has pretty much fallen apart. Her boyfriend has left her and she's relying on her parents for handouts.

Jealousy hardly seems worth it to me when I look at where it has got her.

Plus, budgeting and thrift has never been so chic and in the news - spending vast sums on holidays and cars is now seen as rather vulgar, I believe! So embrace your newfound thrifty ways!! xx

Mudbath

Hiya
I've found the positive side to being in debt means that once we're out of debt we're (hopefully) more likely to think twice before we buy. I can honestly say that now i'm debt free (all of a day!!!) that I won't be rushing out on a spending spree. I think it will be nice in the coming months to think 'well I could get that if I wanted to' but I can't see me splashing out too much. A few treats yes but all of a sudden I don't need x, y and z to make life fantastic. We're going out for a meal on Saturday night and i've printed out one of the vouchers from this forum to get 50% off - I may as well keep half the money if I can!!! Hope you all have a fab day xx