The Green Eyed Monster....

miggy

Hello Fasci and everyone,
Thank you for a great thread! It's so true that the green eyed monster can pop up for any of us. We have a family member who lives abroad, well-paid job, travels a lot with her work... it's hard not to be jealous. We can't be like that and sometimes I've felt we are seen as the poor relation - but then I ask myself if I would really swap with her? The answer is, no. She has had problems of her own and I wouldn't want to go through what she's had to go through, to be where she is. Yes, she's very good at what she does and deserves the rewards, but she has had to leave behind some of the things I value most.
She might say the same of me.
Horses for courses.

SuzySu

Hi Fasci and others. I was not so much the green eyed monster, probably because I was the one buying the flashy things when I could not afford it. I remember once when I had no job (and no prospect of one on the horizon) going out to lunch and then buying a ridiculously expensive broom (yes, you read correctly) simply because it was a zany colour. I mean..... did it sweep the floor better - no; did I need a new broom - no. I just loved spending. Now I get so much more satisfaction from things like getting a bargain Per Una shirt reduced from £30 to £3!! I also managed to pay for Christmas this year from what was in my account which is a first for me. I still get tempted to spend just because I have a bit of cash, but now I leave my purse in the office when I go out at lunchtime.

laura2481

I have sometimes felt resentful (not just jealous) that people seem to have so much more than I do. Holidays, better clothes etc (I don't drive, so not jealous of cars!!) but recently I've been thinking- how do I know that they aren't paying for that on a credit card and aren't struggling with the minimum payments?

I have a friend who has a part time cleaning job- but goes away on holiday 4 times a year to amazing places like china and australia. But I also know she pays for them on her credit card, and so never gets out of debt and keeps adding to it.

Maybe one day I'll get to go somewhere fab... but at least I won't be waking up in the middle of the night having nightmares about paying the bill!!

BeccaG

This thread is fantastic!

I'm naturally very cautious with money, as opposed to my little brother who spends like crazy. My parents wind me up about the fact that I don't like spending money, and will actively look for a bargain, but then like the earlier poster, I live in my own house which I love, have a mortgage which I want to get rid of as soon as possible, and no other debts. Yes, I might not be the most flashily dressed person, but I can sleep at night and I'm not worrying about debt.

I do get jealous of brother's fast cars (as I'm a bit of a closet petrol-head) but then I just think that I wouldn't want to pay loads for insurance/tax/petrol as I'd resent doing that, so stick to my little (cheap) runaround.

I really admire everyone on here who has debts and has faced up to them, good work everyone, and remember that when you've paid them all off, if you keep putting away the money each month that you've been using to pay off your dents, you'll have loads of savings and can then feel very smug!

This has given me new strength not to let my family wind me up, and I hope that everyone else can feel less jealous, as I know that I will be now too!!!

ThinkingOfLinking

I've had this my whole life, right from when I got a secret bursary at my private secondary school, which only myself, my father and the headmistress knew about, and so all my classmates thought I was like them, in that I could afford the £10,500 a year fees. I was THE ONLY one not to get driving lessons and a car given to me in 6th form, and at 23 I still cannot drive, but when I do go for lessons, it'll be more satisfying because I have worked for it. Same with the fact I am hoping to start uni in September; all the more satisfying because it's the result of MY hard work on my own.

I've never been on holiday, I do not own a TV and I struggle to make ends meet sometimes.

But although I hope to earn some money soon, I get some great freebies and am proud of how I get by, as it shows what you can achieve if you put your mind to it. People can be jealous of ME at times due to the freebies and bargains I manage to get hold of, so it works both ways.

Cazzdevil

I remember reading someone's signature on here once and since then it's become my life motto, it read something like:

"Never try and keep up with the Jones' cos they're up to their eyeballs in debt!".

It's true in a lot of cases too. A lot of people seem very obsessed with appearing "normal" to the outside world and will put themselves in financial strife to acheive it. Like it's shameful to admit you struggle at times.

I know of a couple who have taken out an IVA after getting into over £30k of unsecured debt. They're about to come into approximately £6k following a compensation claim and they're going to spend it all on a new car. Now call me crazy but they already have a car which does them fine but because it's old (an L reg) they want a newer one. I think the money would be far better spent elsewhere but I get the impression they want everyone to think that they're "doing alright" by buying a newer car, it's obviously a status thing.

Pfft. I'm a Bangernomics champion I am though :cool:

ThinkingOfLinking

My ex boyfriend was on £46K a year, and yet his "new" car which he got in 2007 was his MIL's old 2001-reg Nissan Almera, which still works and is such a nice car I plan to get one myself when I start driving (yes, it'll be second hand). When someone has £100 in their hand, it does not mean they can afford to spend £100, if you see what I mean.

And as another poster has said, if you want cool stuff, try entering some competitions on here, and looking at the freebies and vouchers boards. Looking at my signature shows the amount I've managed to win/save in less than a month, and that's aside from living frugally.

Another example is that I go to the supermarkets in the evening. The result? I eat like a queen on the budget of a peasant; 50p for venison, 29p for scallops, 10p for organic celery...

I'm also no killjoy; I do occasionally have a naughty blow-out like the £75 Uggs I got from ASOS the other week in the sale, made possible by being level headed the majority of the time.

Damita

I think it is better to be careful with money, having all these material stuff doesn't make that much of a difference as long as you are happy, you have a roof over your head, friends and enjoying where you are in life

I am just pleased we can pay the bills, we have our own house, I do enjoy uni when I am not stressed with work up to my eye balls, I love my friends, family and kittens

Just gotta find a job to suit me :P Shame boots didn't keep me on I loved it there... maybe next holiday...

Moniker192

I feel for you I do!
I feel exactly the same way - I have an incredibly stressful full-time teaching job and earn more than my partner. We can't get on the property ladder, I haven't had a holiday for 4 years and we drive my 8 year Ford KA. We can't afford marriage or even going out. I made myself and my partner cut up those credit cards. My TV is not flat-screen and old but it works! It worries me that we don't have any financial security but apart from being sensible with the cash, what else can I do?
At the moment I work my bum off for nothing so lately have been prone to huge jealousy. With the recession approaching though, I don't see the need to trade in my KA or my TV because (fingers crossed) they work. But it would be nice to have something!
Still - like someone else here said, at least I have a good partner and a tiny mouse house rental roof over my head.
I think that you are doing well Fasci, when they are moaning about debt you can afford to be a wee bit smug!
Be brave and ask yourself before you spend - do I really really need it?

lilmisstrouble

Don't you feel any pride in knowing that what is yours is yours and not the banks. I've been a single parent for several years after divorce. I get no maintenance as I wasn't prepared to let my ex use it as a stick to beat me with. Over the years I've paid off all debt apart from mortgage and car loan both of which I consider essential and can comfortably manage - i have a tracker mortgage so I'm over paying on it to reduce my mortgage. I save up for things and them buy them, I've paid cash for my last few holidays. My Dad's helped me a bit but hundreds not thousands.

I'm incredibly proud of the way I've managed, my kids have computers phones and game consoles all paid for, some of which they've saved an bought themselves. I too have friends who have holidays 3 or 4 times a year and have flash cars but they stiil have problems, debts and generally don't seem any happier than me. I have peace of mind and contentment - money can't buy that.