The Green Eyed Monster....

[Deleted User]

Hi Fascinated
I would love to be able to buy what I wanted, when I wanted but I can't and like you I get jealous of everyone else when they are buying new things like cars or booking a holiday.
The way I see it is -
Do you love the car you have?
If the answer is yes then there you go!
I would love a newer car BUT I would also hate to get rid of my relaible little car! The only way I intend to get rid of my car, and buy a newer one, is when it costs me an arm and a leg to repair or it totally dies on me.

fascinated

Thanks unixgirluk I appreciate the feedback. I know the feeling of being pleased with yourself. For example my husband and I recently had 1000 litres of heating oil delivered, and were able to pay for it out of money we had saved. Hardly a caribbean holiday I know, but just being able to do that when previously we would have just put it on the credit card was a brilliant feeling.

And doodledo, you can still watch the same TV shows on your TV as they can on their flat screens. It's all material isn't it. That was my whole point in posting originally. I get angry with myself for getting so jealous over material things.

And do you know what though, if I had £3500.00 at my disposal I can think of much more worthwhile things to spend it on than two weeks in the sun. Two weeks in the sun would still be lovely though. I can't win!

Take care,

Fasci xx

Jesthar

fascinated wrote: »

And then the rest of the family start going buying flashy new cars and booking holidays to tropical islands, and I am really jealous! And parents start saying things like "You'll have to get a new car now.".

Pah, buying new cars is a mugs game - they lose a quarter or more of their value as soon as you drive them off the forecourt! Which is all very well if you are loaded, but not so sensible for Mr & Mrs Average Joe. :rolleyes:

As to holidays - well, OK, tropical sounds good, doesn't it? But what are they going to DO out there? Lie around on the beach? We have beaches here, and last year we got way hotter than most of the continent! Visit places of historical significance? Plenty of them in the UK, too. Activities? I've done horse riding, archery, air pistoleering, laser clay pigion shooting, go-karting, boating, surfing, attempted golf (don't ask!), crab fishing, orienteering, rock climbing/scrambling, raft building, theme parks of differeing kinds, various other stuff, my mum has done parascending, my brother skiiing, and that's just a fraction of what's on offer!

Plus, of course, there's no language barrier - well, with the possible exception of Leeds...

Can you tell I don't even have a passport? Who needs foreign climes with all this on the doorstep? OK, so we may not be able to provide a tropical climate or exotic change of scenery, but, quite frankly, who cares?

~Jes

IsoChick

doodledo wrote: »

It is hard and I think most of us will have suffered this at some time.

I often get cross with myself as I think if I hadn't got myself into debt like I did then I would be able to have these things which make me jealous.

Me and OH are just starting out as DFW's, but we get like this all the time! My little sister has just booked a week in Egypt for her and her partner, and I am jealous, cos I want to go on holiday (not particularly to Egypt, just 'away').

Then I think about all the debt we've got, and how I couldn't justify spending £600 on a holiday, when we should be sorting the debt out.

I've just taken the money I had saved to buy a new incubator and put it towards our debt . I realise that as much as I need a new one, paying off the debt is more important. But the nice thing is that I was telling my mum about it (she wants us to keep her updated about the debt etc) and she has offered to buy me a new incubator, and give us a little bit of money towards the debt; so every cloud has a silver lining!

tomstickland

You need to look at the facts without emotion and see the bigger picture.

Buying a new car is mainly about an illusion. It's still a pile of metal that will one day sit on a scrap heap. Every time a new one is bought they are probably wasting thousands of pounds compared with keeping the old one in terms of loan costs and the depreciation. The new car offers no more utility (ie: getting from A to . It's just a shallow emotional thing "oh it's new and shiny". After a month it's just another car.

Holidays are similar. There's nothing to show for the money after the holiday is over, and you could have more enjoyment from a smaller spend. Jump off the treadmill of "keeping up with the overspenders".

Raychee

I know how you feel. The previous couple of years, I've had a girls holiday with family members. We have the most fantastic couple of days and it's wonderful. However, this year I've had to tell them that I can't afford to do a long weekend in Ireland. I'm feeling so guilty - especially as I know that the break will mean an awful lot to my M-I-L at the moment.

However, I am adamant that I will get debt-free this year, which will mean that we are one step closer to being ready to adopt, and it's one less thing to worry about when we go to approval.

Jealousy of what others can afford? Ohhhh yes. But my goal outweighs ANYTHING they could offer me.

Keep with it!

fascinated

Thanks everyone. At least I know now that I am not the only green eyed monster in the world. Palema - yes I do love the car I have. I have owned it for 5 years and it has never let me down. It was 4 years old when I bought it and I paid cash for it so it owes me nothing. We do have a loan for my husband's car but that was purchased to downsize from the gas guzzling 3 litre he had. We now have a little 1.4 run around with cheap insurance and tax.

I keep telling myself that I do not know these people's finances, and I have discovered in the past that people often lie about where their money is coming from. I work in a profession that allows me access to certain financial information and it is surprising how often people say one thing to their friends and family but the documents say something quite different.

I guess lots of us like our friends and family to think we are doing well, and it is hard to admit when we aren't. That's why I love this site so much. It enables us to see that lots of oher people are just as normal as we are, and provides lots of life experience and helpful information to see us on our debt free journey.

So thanks everyone.

Fasci xx

fascinated

tomstickland - I totally agree with you. I think I have mostly jumped off the treadmill of the overspenders, but I have to post here to stop myself from getting back on again. We have been living as frugally as we can, and we are definitely seeing the results in terms of our debt, but when others are having "treats" it is difficult to overlook it.

I'm so glad I posted here this morning. Nothing spent so far today, and I haven't eaten any biscuits. Off to work this afternoon so won't spend anything then either if I can find somewhere free to park!

Fasci xx

bathgatebuyer

It's only natural that you're jealous - who wouldn't be?!

There's a great book called The Millionaire Next Door in which it talks about the wealthiest in society and about how they are actually often the poorest dressed, driving the most average of cars that they haggled over at the dealership. The neavou riche are those who appear to have the most - new cars, fancy holidays, designer labels - but in reality they have little savings, live from month to month and have very little 'true' wealth. It was a bit of an eye-opener for me.

What would you rather have? A car you can afford or one you can't which people are jealous of? I know what my next car will be (my Mum's 4 yr old Yaris - cheap to insure, cheap to run, not flash at all and well within my budget!!!)

Mrs_Boo_Boo

Weel done everyone for acknowledging your jealousy and then counting your blessings. It does happen sometimes. Just keep in mind the advertisers make us feel bad if we don't buy their products and portray a happiness if we do!!! Then theres the next product. Glad I don't get taken in by this any more. Haven't had a holiday for 2 years now cos want to spend time and money on my house first. My car is for keeps until it dies.
Glad I am alive and able to enjoy pleasures which cannot be bought.