How to (mentally) recover from a car accident?

Scubabe

Okay, this could be the wrong board, so if a mod wants to move this that's fine.

I was in an accident about 6 weeks ago, I hit some black ice. I am physically fine but mentally I am still a headcase.

I made sure I got straight back into driving, I knew I was very scared so I even pushed myself to do loads more driving that I wouldn't ordinarily do... I volunteered to do transport runs for a nation-wide dog rescue and I've done an extra 1000miles in the past 6 weeks than what I would normally do - averaging 2-3 hours a week on transport runs for them.

But I still can't shrug the feeling that I am slipping on the road, the car feels like it's sliding & wobbling, even when there's no possibility of ice around I still freak out. I spend most of my time crying when I am driving, and the littlest thing makes me jump - seeing a dog walker on the side of the road coming into my field of vision at night, or having a leaf hit my windscreen, hitting a pothole... all these things make me jump and squeal.

I've tried driving alone & with people in the car, I've tried being a passenger, I've tried silence, I've tried classical music, I've tried really loud music I can sing along with... and none of these things have calmed me down. I am still driving too slow like an old grandma and constantly imagining my car sliding or slipping.

How on earth do you get over the mental "hump"?

I used to be so confident, I am normally a very "ballsy" kinda gal, this has really shaken me and it's driving me crazy, I don't want to behave like a silly little girl but I just can't get my driving mojo back!

I'd love to hear other's experiences of how long it took them to get their head back into gear after an accident.

Cheers,

Ness

Hintza

Why not sign up for a few lessons with the Insitute of Advanced Motorists. If anyone can help they should be able to.

http://www.iam.org.uk/

hewhoisnotintheknow

just time

I had an horrific accident, its sounds hard but just getting back out there and realising that life goes on really

whitewing

I agree with the Advanced Driving lessons - much, much cheaper to do this than you'd think. (You may get lower car ins too if you take the test and pass it).

I passed my test at 17, drove for a bit, then didn't have a car for years. I then moved to the country where it was essential to drive. So I booked in for some refresher lessons with a local driving instructor. Just to have a driving instructor tell me than I was a perfectly good driver made all the difference.

Mrs_Boo_Boo

I agree time is the best healer. Also had an ice accident more than 10 years ago where I was stationary at traffic lights and a single decker bus came round the corner and slid into my back door. Noones fault either but am still a bit wary when its icy.
What about having a go on a skid pan. may not be cheap but a way of ensuring you feel confident in the situation.
Good luck and big hugs from me.

The_Undercover_ADI

The IAM suggestion is a very good one (and a very cheap one - as much training as you need for the joining fee - excellent value that few instructors could match). The only catch could be if you have an observer who doesn't understand your circumstances, so make sure you make them aware of what has happened and what you are looking for so that they can consider this when they place you with someone.

Another suggestion is a little more left field.

I work with a lot of people who get training to overcome stress while driving, from both ends of the spectrum, from people like yourself who have had an accident and are struggling to regain their confidence, to people who have got themselves involved in road rage incidents.

In the most extreme cases I work with a specialist NLP trainer (Neuro Linguistic Programming), who is also a trained hypnotherapist. My guy has worked with me for a while and understands what we need to acheive, but any hypnotherapist should be able to help.

Improving both your driving skills and your mental coping strategies will make a huge difference.

I have seen customers who have been almost crippled in their professional capacity by things like this go from fear of unemployment, to successfully gain promotions within months of seeking help.

From a money saving point of view, the driving, as mentioned can be helped very cheaply with IAM (or a local RoSPA group). The hynotherapy is often available on the NHS.

cyclonebri1

I would have said "get back in the saddle", bit like when you fall of a bike. But you've already done that

The other advice given is good, but I just wondered if a few trips say to an industrial estate road late one evening where you can learn to brake to the point of losing grip on a quite bit of road with no danger to others. Once you realise just how stable your car is under good conditions I'm sure your confidence will return.

Just to add, there cannot be a driver on the road, unless very new, that has not experienced the sudden loss of grip that happens on black ice, continually testing the grip with a dab of the brakes, watching the outside temp guage etc all adds to driver awareness.

You will learn from it;)

V_tricky

If the accident was not your fault, then ask the responsible party's insurer for some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - this is very very expensive - an average course costs in excess of £1000, but it is clinically proven to work and is moreorless the only treatment for extreme travel anxiety/PTSD which is regularly recommended by the medical experts who are instructed by the insurers.

If that's not an option for you, can ask your GP to refer you, but the NHS waiting list is likely to be long.

Your own policy may cover upto a small amount (£200ish) for medical treatment which you could use to fund something like this if it is necessary.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

goldspanners

V_tricky wrote: »

If the accident was not your fault, then ask the responsible party's insurer for some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

whos insurance should they claim? the met office?

Quinny_2

I too hit black ice about 7 weeks ago,and stuffed my 406 into a hedge,but I had a better one 9 years ago.

I am an HGV1 driver,and had an accident,some of you would only shudder about,and that was,I went into the back of another artic,a car transporter actually,and to say I wrote mine off was an understatement.I was an intensive care patient for 8 days,and was so seriously ill,it was thought I'd never survive.

However.You have to be strong mentally to get over it.I am,and still drive artics today.If you don't,then your confidence will suffer,and you'll end up being a nervous wreck,especially when your on the road.

It's easy for me to say,but put it to the back of your mind,and look upon it as a nasty experience,and learn from it.Don't let it scare you,but I agree with the point of going for an advance course of lessons if you can afford it.

cyclonebri1

V_tricky wrote: »

If the accident was not your fault, then ask the responsible party's insurer for some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy - this is very very expensive - an average course costs in excess of £1000, but it is clinically proven to work and is moreorless the only treatment for extreme travel anxiety/PTSD which is regularly recommended by the medical experts who are instructed by the insurers.

If that's not an option for you, can ask your GP to refer you, but the NHS waiting list is likely to be long.

Your own policy may cover upto a small amount (£200ish) for medical treatment which you could use to fund something like this if it is necessary.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

What other party?? read again please