Financial faux pas and other disasterous decisions

Hollyberry

moo2moo wrote: »

My hen laid a haddock, one hand oiled a flea,
Glad farts and centurions threw dogs in the sea,
I could stew a hare here and brandish Dan's flan,
Don's ruddy bog's blocked up with sand.
Dad! Dad! Why don't you oil Auntie Glad?
Can w hores appear in beer bottle pies,
O butter the hens as they fly!

I have taken note. If our plans for a house on the Welsh borders come to fruition, I'll have a head start. Off to find a recipe for Dan's flan.

moo2moo

The DDs really don't seem bothered that their classes are bilingual or that they have French and German speaking relatives. They seem to have more problems understanding my parents and worse still my brother and his family who utilise the Yorkshire version of the English language in which most sentences start with Ee and Ts and Hs appear and disappear at random. As an example Ee thas allus b'aht 'at (you're always going out without your hat on) and my brothers general response to how are you is "Ee I'm nowt but fair te middlin'."

I survived the Jambori. I'd even go so far as to say it was fun. Lots and lots of fun. Perhaps not for the poor member of staff whose daughter let slip that it was mummys birthday which resulted in a trip to the stage and several thousand small children singing Penblwydd Hapus. Not quite as embarassing as it could have been though. Conversation on stage went thus: Bore da. Beth yw dy enw? (Hello! Whats your name?) after that the questions got a wee bit harder. How old are you resulted in an awful lot of counting on fingers and the gleeful audience counting out loud in unison. I'm rather glad she was only in her 40s.

My Welsh has improved with the addition of lots of new words, none of them useful in any way shape of form unless I should happen to meet the Raj of India at which point I can introduce him to the nation with Bore da i Raj o India. Other useful phrases include mae Taid yn bwyta cyri poeth (my grandfather ate a hot curry) thus explaining the flatulence and pisa caws (cheese pizza) or at least it would be useful were it not for Pizza Hut being staffed entirely by people from Poland. I did get a bit wet thanks to a child armed with a water pistol who was told he'd get more points for his school if he could squirt the teachers. We had an Elvis impersonator from the audience who'd never heard of Elvis and a compare who dressed up as a Prussian dancer complete with a fake nose which wouldn't have been out of place on display in the adult only section of Ann Summers. One poor volunteer Gran ended up impersonating a tomato when the compare sat on her knee to sing to her shortly before grabbing her round the waist and starting a conga.

Tesco_points_addict

Moo, where in Wales are you? I'm in the South.

TPAx

moo2moo

I'm in the wanabe capital of North Wales. Obviously its nowt like Cardiff but we do have a very new university (ooooh) which has changed its name three times in the eight years since we've been here, bit of an identity crisis going on there. But theres nothing else that would even remotely make any one consider this to be a capital city. Its a teeny place and theres nothing here, well apart from sheep. There are lots of them. Oh and boarded up buildings. We have lots of those too. As for night life well we have owls and bats and three deserted night clubs.

I have bids on half my flea bay tat and watchers on everything else including the cuddly toy ninja that came free with the Qype goodie and has been lurking under my desk since January. Proof that people will buy just about anything on E-bay.

Trying_to_be_good

Moo - I was thinking of you as I was listing on ebay. I listed a pair of flip flops and a warning came up about not being allowed to list firearms. For some reason, this reminded me of your adventures, I can't think why!

moo2moo

E-bay is a bit of a joke for things like that. Whilst you can't buy a complete working rifle you can buy a fully functional barrel and trigger mechanism assembly and you can also buy the rifle stock (usually from the same person) or better still you can buy the stock and they throw in the firing mechanism for free. Two screws later and you're up and running. Incidently removing the two screws in question satisfies Royal Mails requirements and allows it to be sent in the standard post as a non-functional weapon too.

I'm not entirely convinced what makes a pair of flip flops a lethal weapon though.

Not entirely sure what went on yesterday. OH had one of his Jekyl and Hyde moments. He was lovely all day and then I went to bed. I was rudely awoken several hours later to the sound of him tripping up over the bath. I went to investigate and found him looking remarkably like an upturned turtle looking rather surprised (not half as surprised as I was!). I could understand the cat or the dog but the bath will take a little more explaining. Evidence suggests he drank everything alcoholic we had in the house. He'll have the mother of all hang overs this morning. Red wine, white wine, cider and brandy are probably not the best combination in the world. Will be kicking him out of bed this morning with maximum noise to accompany the DDs to their riding lesson. Was planning to send him on his own but I doubt he'll be in a fit state to drive and I'd rather not risk that anyway.

Transferred a chunk of cash from one bank account to another on Thursday and its since disappeared into thin air. Yet another reason to close the recently opened Alliance and Leiceter account. Its sooooo slow. I presume it will rematerialise on Monday or perhaps Tuesday. The crew of the starship enterprise never seeemed to have problems of this magnitude. "Beam me up Scotty" before this neon green slobbering monster eats me alive.... "aye aye captain" but perhaps not until a week next Thursday. Somehow that doesn't make for great TV.

Off to feed the DDs who are clamouring for food before doing a spot of vacuuming. Perhaps freshly ground coffee would be a nice start to the day too. There are probably quite a few more very noisy essential household chores I need to do particularly early this morning. Just can't think of any of the top of my head at the momment. I will give it considerable thought. Onward and upwards people.

mooomin

moo2moo wrote: »

I'm not entirely convinced what makes a pair of flip flops a lethal weapon though.

After much googling to prove I hadn't invented this statistic:

Figures show that 55,100 men and women went to hospital with flip flop-related complaints in 2002

That's in the UK alone

moo2moo

Its been a whirlwind of a weekend and I finally have a bit of me time to catch up on myself. DD1 took her new rifle to a competition on Sunday during which we had torrential rain, howling gales, thunder, lightening and hailstorms. Wonder what delights June will bring. She got absolutely soaked and incredibly cold hands but scored a very respectable 11 points which shes ecstatic about. She had several parentally induced problems where a few of the things we'd helped her set up were wrong due to the difference in our sizes so her scope has since been tweaked so that she can see through the whole thing which will make life considerably easier. She fell asleep at 4pm on Sunday afternoon and didn't emerge until yesterday morning. I'd quite like to have done the same thing.

OH has promised to take her clothes shopping on saturday to buy some waterproof dungarees so that next time it rains and shes laid in a puddle she won't turn into a human sponge. Well thats the theory anyway. DD2 had a great time sploshing in puddles and feeding the deer.

I've withdrawn another free £10 from the bingo scratchcards. They won't be as prolific any more since Take a Break changed their scratchcards to give bonus money instead of real money. Still it was nice whilst it lasted. I sold all but two of the items I had listed on E-bay. One of DD2s old jumpers went for a rather ridiculous £10 and some cheeky mare has bought 18 books for £3 and then e-mailed to ask if I'd reduce the postage as £5.50 is apparently rather a lot. I think not. Total income post E-bay and Paypal deductions should be roughly £60 and postage to date has been free thanks to the survey lot that pay in stamps. They've been extra generous with them recently so I still have ten books of 12 to use up.

Need to find another £300 to reach this months target. Still have quite a bit to list on E-bay just not £300 worth. Will see what else I can come up with, its only £25 a day between now and the end of the month. How hard can that be? I forsee a mega storecupboard challenge. Theres enough food in the cupboards to get us to the beginning of June and beyond with only the addition of fresh milk, fruit and veg. Will need to shuffle the cupboards weekly so that OH doesn't notice that I haven't been shopping.

moo2moo

Ventured into the village yesterday to do my weekly grocery shop and spent £1.30 on 4 pints of milk. Planning a mega gargantuin storecupboard challenge. I have a feeling we'll be sick to death of beans by the end of it but lurking in the back of the enormous larder are ten bags of beans and pulses and lots and lots of oats. Is it possible to survive on Twinks hobnobs for a week? Technically if you add sultanas they constitute a balanced meal since you'd have fruit (sultanas and wot not), dairy (butter), protein and carbohydrate (oats). At least at the end of the experience I'll be able to shut the cupboard doors and perhaps even get all the food inside. I've overshopped rather a lot recently and have enough food to feed a small army so this shouldn't be too difficult. OH has gone to work a happy bunny armed with a Ginsters Pastie (found 8 in the freezer with 20p reduced labels on). DDS are having jam sandwiches to use up the dregs of the 6 open jars of jam in the fridge. Will chuck some chicken thighs in the slowcooker for dinner with one of the dubious sauces that OH insists on buying when hes being helpful.

DD1 spent two hours in the garden last night zeroing her scope so that she can now put three pellets one on top of the other on the target. Shes most happy with that. Its only at 10m though, I've a feeling 20m will be somewhat more of a challenge.

Survived last nights PTA meeting about the summer fete. Apparently we're only having 40 or so stalls this year. I doubt they'll get 25 parents to help out so that could get quite interesting.

moo2moo

I did the 100 day challenge and haven't bought any toiletries other than toothpaste since Christmas. Shuffling stuff round in a vague attempt at tidying up I've come across 9 shower gels, 16 bubble baths and 4 shaving gels. It appears I had far more than I thought. I have similar issues with laundry detergent. Tesco had their own brand on offer a while back and I bought quite a few (on several occasions) and I still have six in the cupboard. Its economising but not as we know it. Must retrain my brain somewhat and only buy 2 or 3 of anything rather than 10 or 12 hence the 20kg of dog food in the cupboard which is why the cupboard is as full as it is. Same with canned food. The dog eats 2 cans a week so I bought a tray of 24 because it worked out cheaper. Must remember that the cupboard under the stairs is not a tardis.

Off to do a vague store cupboard inventory which commences with things like:

12 cans baked beans
14 can tomatoes
8 packs flour tortillas
9kg pasta
16 packs of 10p noodles
5kg rice

Spotting the common theme yet? I live in a house not a commercial kitchen. No wonder it doesn't all fit in the cupboards although the 12 boxes of cereals have quite a lot to do with that as does the 10 litres of soya milk.

I never want to be in the position where I can't feed the DDs but even for me this seems to have got a bit out of hand. Pretty much the only places I spend money at the moment are the supermarket, the local Co-op shop for extra milk and go-go juice for the car plus all the DDs activities. I think I need to rethink the balance between debt repayment and life in general then perhaps I won't feel quite so knackered or so stressed the whole time (and the house will be tidier too). I will make Mays target and we're well on track for being sub 25K by the start of the summer hols but after that I'm going to take it easy until school starts again in September and be happy to spend the glorious sunny summer days with the DDs whilst breaking even every month. Anything else is an added bonus.