Financial faux pas and other disasterous decisions

moo2moo

Days to payday: 18 (thank crunchie Febs a very short month)
Money in purse : £20 (need to remember to buy milk today)
Money in emergency jam jar: Home to a few moths
Money in bank: £301.61 (with £35 of cheques written which have yet to clear) (£10 free scratchcard money credited )
Money spent in February: £1832.84
Money remaining of this months portion of the live on £20K challenge : £165.84
Part used smellies used up and disposed of: 16
Gift vouchers for X-mas 2010 and all the birthdays in between: £60.00

Tesco_points_addict

Oh Moo, you poor thing. What your DH is doing to you is a form of abuse, your girls WILL pick up on this.

I lived like this for years, it is not good to make yourself change because you are worried about someones reaction. Your home should be somewhere you can close the door and RELAX in. It should be your safe haven NOT soewhere you feel like you are walking on egg shells. I wish I could give you a hug (and some toblerone).

I used to make excuses for my OH all the time. He would drink wine from a pint glass, even if we had visitors. He started off drinking one bottle a night, then one and half, then two.........he would not eat until he had finished drinking. It got to the stage where I would have a drink too, eventually I realised that if I didn't leave him, I too would end up an alcoholic. It was one of the hardest, but best things I have done. I cannot believe how happy I am now. I remember the first time I shut my front door on my 'new house', it was bliss!

Have you thought about asking DH if he would go to AA for the sake of the family unit? If not, what about aksing him to leave on a temporary basis so you can both think clearly about what your family needs?

TPAxxxxxx

Lula-Hula

Moo,

like TPA, I've also been there. I did post my own experience then deleted it as it's just not fair to make all that info public. I am however, happy to talk through anything that may help you to see the dangerous situation you are in via PM.

A man who abuses the mother of his children when drunk is not a good father, however much you want him to be. Working hard, earning a good wage & providing for the family counts for nothing if that person treats you badly.

You rarely mention having your friends over & I worry at how isolated you seem ... echoes of my own experiences.

Just remember that you are never alone with the DFW/MSE army surrounding you

moo2moo

Morning guys! Feeling v. positive despite having a throat stuffed with cotton woll and a head that feel like its going to explode.

My last mega explosion appears to have had an impact. Too soon to say whether this is a long term thing or a temporary reprieve but things are definately looking up. OH was vino fre last night, OK not dry as he did have a can of beer but it was only one can, the remainder of the 4 pack remains untouched in the fridge. We actually had an evening where we talked rather than ignored each other and this morning I woke up to a lukewarm cup of coffee. He leaves just before my alarm oges off so he used to leave me a cuppa as an incentive to get out of bed but he hasn't done that for months. It really is the stupid little things that make a difference.

Had the LPG tank inspected yesterday. Its been scheduled for replacement at zero cost to us in April 2012 so have signed on the dotted line to stay with our current company for another two years. As a reward for this we get our next fill at 35p per litre instead of the current 62.5p which on a 600+ litre fill makes an enormous difference and should in theory knock at least £10 off our monthly DD for the next year.

Finally feels like everything is heading in the right direction.

OH has one final appointment with the dentist at the end of March at which point he has to pay for all the treatment hes had since Christmas but I've already incorporated it into Febs expenditure. Must remember not to include it again at the end of March.

Spent yesterday cleaning like a mad thing. I can now see the shiny clean floor in Land Rover Land. I cleared the garden of doggy doo and random debris from the winter and then started washing windows. Had a random wander round the garden in all the chikens favourite spots and located two dozen eggs, no excuse not to spend the weekend baking now. Still have to tackle open plan living but the bits that really annoy me have considerably less clutter than yesterday. Hoping for another warm day so that I can start trimming hedges.

moo2moo

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Moo,

like TPA, I've also been there. I did post my own experience then deleted it as it's just not fair to make all that info public. I am however, happy to talk through anything that may help you to see the dangerous situation you are in via PM.

A man who abuses the mother of his children when drunk is not a good father, however much you want him to be. Working hard, earning a good wage & providing for the family counts for nothing if that person treats you badly.

You rarely mention having your friends over & I worry at how isolated you seem ... echoes of my own experiences.

Just remember that you are never alone with the DFW/MSE army surrounding you

Friends??????? Nope sorry, alien concept. I could make all the excuses under the sun but I've drifted away from anybody and everybody who lives locally. That sounds really really pathetic. In fact that is really really pathetic.

moo2moo

Days to payday: 18 (thank crunchie Febs a very short month)
Money in purse : £20 (need to remember to buy milk today)
Money in emergency jam jar: Home to a few moths
Money in bank: £301.61 (with £35 of cheques written which have yet to clear) (£10 free scratchcard money credited )
Money spent in February: £1889.04
Money remaining of this months portion of the live on £20K challenge : £222.04
Part used smellies used up and disposed of: 16
Gift vouchers for X-mas 2010 and all the birthdays in between: £60.00

Yesterdays spends:
£51 coal
£5.20 milk, 3 jars of pasta sauce, 1.5kg pasta and sweets for DD2

Remaining spends for Feb:
£20 Horse riding (assuming DD2 is well enough)
£60 Annual family membership for shooting club which allows DD1 to shoot for free outdoors all year rather than paying £2.50 a session and us to shoot outdoors free at non competition days
£60 Neoprene club jackets for OH and DD1 (although hers fits me)
£175 or thereabouts for DD1s new rifle which is a surprise as shes advanced beyond her other one.

Helen105

Hi Moo
Sorry to hear things have been up & down over the last few days.
Seems to me that having made the decision to stay (at least for the moment) with the OH, what you need from this forum is a place where you can let off steam and moan during the bad times & (boast during the good times) without feeling that you need to apologise for him or defend yourself.
Feel free, we are here to listen.

I've been a bit hit or miss during the last week as I have been invaded by an influx of sisters & the brother in law from hell who have all been wanting to "help". We have however got through the week without major rows & DD & baby's room is now decorated so a result I think.

moo2moo

Thanks Helen.

DD2 went back to school this morning so I'm on my own and I'm having a very selfish day. Went to get dressed this morning and thought to myself why are those occupying drawer space? I don't like them, they look awful on, they don't make me feel good about myself and so I've begun operation spruce up moos wardrobe. Its been very therapeutic. I never did grow into the black denim Levi jacket that I bought when I started sixth form. Its still at the back of the wardrobe having moved house over a dozen times not that I can recall wearing it since around 1998. Its been a trip down memory lane. Have ruthlessly turfed the undies I bought to holiday in in 1997 and some even older than those. Why I [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] had saggy baggy scummy undies in my drawer is beyond even me. I know I'm a bit of a horder but this is simply ridiculous and so I'm systematically going through each and every drawer being far more ruthless than I was on previous occassions. As a result I'm now down to 116 pairs of knickers (excluding whats in the laundry basket) ridiculous I know. More ridiculous is some of them were still rolled up just as they came out the packet. Still the remaining pairs are all of the non-minging stain fre non-itchy fit me properly variety.

Only a dozen or so more drawers, two hanging rails and two enormoous shelves to go. This could take some time. For someone who rarely goes clothes shopping I have an awful lot of stuff

moo2moo

Managed 10 hours of uninterupted sleep. Struggling to wake up though but at least I'm beginning to feel more human with each passing day.

DD1 went to the indoor range yesterday to check her zero and had tons of fun, OH got half an hour pistol shooting and DD2 was quite happy on the ranges sofa with her DS and an endless suply of hot chocolate. DD1s new rifle still hasn't arrived but its so obscure that its already a collectors item which is most odd as its being made to order. Surely all these collectors can just go out and buy one, but apparently not, turns out in two years time, even used, it will be worth at least double what we're paying for it. That isn't making it arrive any faster though. Does mean it will be coming out of the March budget.

E-mailed OHs boss with a list of dates for time off. His collegues are already booking dates up to X-mas 2010. Most annoying is the fella that doesn't have children awho booked the whole of the Easter hols. Because there are only six of them it means only one person can have holiday at any one time. Hoping we can get two weeks over the summer to go camping. Theory being it will give everybody something to look forward to which hopefully will improve things a little more. Now have to persuade OH that we can have a jolly nice time without having to drive to John O'Groats or lands End. I hate being stuck in the car for hours on end.

moo2moo

Days to payday: 17
Money in purse : £30 (to cover the DDs riding lesson)
Money in emergency jam jar: Home to a few moths
Money in bank: £221.61 (with £35 of cheques written which have yet to clear) (£50 DooYoo
credited )
Money spent in February: £2009.04
Money remaining of this months portion of the live on £20K challenge : £362.04
Part used smellies used up and disposed of: 16
Gift vouchers for X-mas 2010 and all the birthdays in between: £60.00