*Totally Tuesday Chat thread 13th Jan**

InkyCats20

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

Hi Inky, it is really hard when it's out of balance like that. I lost count of the number of times that my friends told me to stop being so 'available' - but if you want to speak to him, and opportunities are limited, then it's difficult to not answer the phone! I found I was spending too many days at home on my own when he'd half-promised to turn up, and couldn't plan to do anything like seeing friends etc. I decided to finish it, for many reasons including that - but you have to decide if you can make it work so you're comfortable and happy with it. I should be very wary after that experience but I've met someone else (well known him for ages actually) and we are giving it a go.. madness but it feels right at the moment!

Thanks Redsquirrel

Well on a lighter note, just had some lunch but won't say what 'cos I seen Sammy gets a bit :mad: about food :rotfl:
Off to make myself presentable now, to go & see what the recruitment agencies have got to offer me - wish me luck

IC
x

redsquirrel80

Snaggles wrote: »

The reason he hasn't told people about me is that he has 2 step-kids with his ex-wife, who of course he has no legal rights to see, so he is trying to not make the situation worse until they have agreed regular access. As far as his parents go, I suppose he doesn't want to tell them just yet because he officially only left his wife 2 months ago, although we were seeing each other before that, when they split up 4 months ago. I took a step back while they tried to make it work and he moved back in, but he moved back out again in November when it became clear it wouldn't work and we have been seeing each other again since then (the last 'blip' was caused by us rushing into things a bit to quickly after both our marriages, but we seemed to have got past that and everything was lovely until last night).

Apparently he is too angry and upset with me to talk now, but will ring me tomorrow. :mad:

Oh gosh Snags.. that is so close to the situation that I was in it's scary! My now ex has been separated from his ex-wife for over three years now but still not divorced as she holds him to ransom over access to kids etc every time he tries to sort things out - so he's just stopped even trying.

I hope you can make him see sense when he's calmed down and wants to talk, I'd hate to see you going through this for a long time xx

beanielou

Snaggles ~Huggles hun.
Maz~Got the4 carpet yet?

Schoolrunmum~Hope you are ok? xxx

Snaggles

I've ended things with him. Apparently he is angry with me about Sunday morning too. On Sunday morning we woke up and he seemed distant - I tried to hug him but he didn't seem to want to, just got up and got dressed in silence. Then he did hug and kiss me but left earlier than planned (not by much, but it still felt like he couldn't wait to get away).

So I'm now thinking that he engineered this argument as a way out, which is why it's so illogical.

I'm not being treated like that, so I've told him it's over.

(Land_of)_Maz

redsquirrel80 wrote: »

Oh gosh Snags.. that is so close to the situation that I was in it's scary! My now ex has been separated from his ex-wife for over three years now but still not divorced as she holds him to ransom over access to kids etc every time he tries to sort things out - so he's just stopped even trying.

I hope you can make him see sense when he's calmed down and wants to talk, I'd hate to see you going through this for a long time xx

Big G and i went thru similar when we first met... took ages before anyone outwith our closest circles of friends and joint work colleagues knew about me.... and he was proper married... altho in my defence m'lud i didn't know that.

I was a compartment of his life for a long time, even after he left his ex wife... when we met he had a 3 year old.... i eventually met Craig when he was 14! (he's now 18 and a Erin loves her "brother from another mother!")

it took a lot of standing in the sidelines and constant "you can do betters" from everyone.. but only you can know what your heart feels...

rest assured, even though i did call him a w a n k e r earlier.... if you sort things out, we'll be here for you and we'll let him off if you do... but only once or twice, if he continues to show unreserved masses of twuntiness, we will be forced to frying pan him...!


Edit - cross posted with your last post.... (((HUGS)))

Stay strong honey, you deserve better!

sammy115

Sorry - I have a bit more to add (me the expert pah!)

Some of mine and OH's biggest rows (including this christmas) have been about ex OH and children.

I have been with OH since DD2 was a tiny baby. They all call him Dad and to all intents and purposes he is their dad. The other one is in blood only. BUT because my mother banned me from seeing my dad it took me years to work out for myself that my dad was actually a grade a !!!!!!....if she had let me go and see him I would have seen it much earlier.

My OH goes crazy when I let exOH see kids, EX OH has done nothing for them and only wants to see them at the good times (christmas) my OH thinks they should have nothing to do with him and I fight him tooth and nail on this one.

I think I am wittering now, but my point is that it WILL cause problems between the two of you and it is best to sort them now.. Putting off telling people is only putting off the inevitable show down. I almost feel like he is emotionally blackmailing you with the children as a way of getting out of telling people.......sorry hope that doesn't sound harsh....

sammy115

Inky cat - thanks for your support....not like others on here.....:rotfl:

beanielou

We could have a book club & get the books from our library.
Ames~Credit unions are fab!

redsquirrel80

Snaggles wrote: »

I've ended things with him. Apparently he is angry with me about Sunday morning too. On Sunday morning we woke up and he seemed distant - I tried to hug him but he didn't seem to want to, just got up and got dressed in silence. Then he did hug and kiss me but left earlier than planned (not by much, but it still felt like he couldn't wait to get away).

So I'm now thinking that he engineered this argument as a way out, which is why it's so illogical.

I'm not being treated like that, so I've told him it's over.

Aww hun :grouphug:

He's angry with you when he was being distant? Sounds like he is very confused and not ready for a new relationship, shame he couldn't be honest and talk about it rather than causing fights. Maybe somewhere along the line he will realise that he's spoiled something really good :mad:

Good for you for looking after yourself.

(Land_of)_Maz

beanielou wrote: »

Snaggles ~Huggles hun.
Maz~Got the4 carpet yet?

Schoolrunmum~Hope you are ok? xxx

YES!!! very exciting! the man laid it this morning!! was calling mum every hour to see how it looked! she says it is lush!!

also, when we went to carpet shop we bouht a £40 piece of lino for bathroom, which big g was going to [STRIKE]do a half assed job[/STRIKE] fit for us.... however mum is gallous and asked the carpet fitter if he would fit it, which he did for £20!!! woop woop!!!