I'm Done Moaning !

Different_Corner

I know the New Year brings hope and inspiration and this year I'm determind to stick with it. Been in this frame of mind before only to fail before January is out.

This time ? My year started with a broken boiler, only just been fixed after two weeks. I surprised myself getting through it, and as much as I don't identify with the word strong, I dug something up from somewhere.

Emotionally we've been through it and back this last 9 months and each time something else 'goes against us' I think this will be the thing that blows it all up.

But it hasn't and we are still here to tell the story. I'm a big lurker on these boards and take loads of inspiration from many posts, feel like I've been storing it all up and now is the time to unleash it all.

I'm in debt, the house needs TLC, but then so do I and the children. Nothing will get any better unless I do something about it, so here I go. Going to through myself into busting the debt, and living again.

I 've been promising myself a spending diary for months, meal planning sort of fades into the background when I'm rushing home from work and do a supermarket dash. I drink and I smoke, it's staring me in the face really.

I know I've posted similar before but this time I need to sit as far down on the wagon as possible, nowhere near the door, and if we could take the slow route, rather than the bumpy one ?

Thanks for listening, inspiring, motivating and posting

Damita

Good luck

Lewby

Well done DC for posting such an honest post. I know exactly what you mean about having been here before .... I've fallen off the wagon several times but like you, I've finally come to realise that the only person who can change it is me .... so sit next to me at the back of the cart!!!

It always seems a cliche to make such resolutions in January but I love New Year and always feel optomistic about the Spring and Summer - bringing new chances to have another go at improving my life. I need to decorate but have a final assignment to finish for what has been an really difficult and long course. I have promised myself that when that is over (end of Jan) I will invest some time in the house, family and getting a life back.

This site has made a huge difference to me too. I have never been able to speak to anyone about our debt - sometimes not even the OH - but in here everyone is pushing in the same direction - uphill - and mostly retaining a sense of humour!

Good luck and I've subscribed to your thread so I can hold on to you on the back seat. If I slip grab me!!

Lewby xx

worried_jim

I really feel for you. I am going through a similar situation and can relate to your feelings. I wish you all the best and hope thatb if you need help or advice that you post back so other mse's can help.
good luck ! jim.

fletch3163

Oh what a nice thread:D

You asbsolutely sound like you mean business. We've had a whole week of back to normal January and you're resolve seems to be holding. Maybe it's for the duration this time? :T

Your part about the house hit a nerve with me actually. For me, being too busy balancing the plates of work, weans, husband and money I'm afraid the house plate came crashing down. I don't mean things to make it lovely, I mean things to make it serviceable. It's shamefully shabby and I'm sure my neighbours talk:o

Anyway, it's not about me I wish you the strength of character and resolve you require and hope you can get to 2010 thinking " I Did it!"

looktothefuture

Toward the end of last year I moaned so much even I began to get fed up with it! We all fall off the wagon now and then, it's just a case of realising quickly enough and getting back on, strapping ourselves in and heading along that bumpy road again and I KNOW we CAN do it!

waterwatcher

thats it looktothefuture, its the positive thinking that makes the difference, I know longer think I might do it, I KNOW I CAN do it!!!! ha ha

Keep at it, keep going strong and through the rougher times remember you can do it!!! GOOD LUCK

Different_Corner

Thanks everyone.

Lewby - I've brought the last of the Quality street, no puple ones left, so thanks for saving the seat I agree with the Spring Summer motivation, I really don't function in the cold. I know some people love those bright blue 'sparkling days' but I only appreicate from behind the double glazing and even then hope the sun doesn't shine too bright on my smeary kitchen windows !

Worried Jim - been dipping in and out of your thread, somehow we'll be holding our heads up high soon

Fletch - I always seem to be patching things up in the house and making do.
But now it's crunch time, I have had to get quotes for a new boiler and it's being done within the next few weeks.

Added to that I have a very shabby bathroom, aswell as things around here needing painting, general decorating, and some good old fashioned elbow grease, it's time to take control.

I've never hung a sheet of wallpaper in my life or sealed a bath perimeter, I can't afford to pay someone else to do it so this will be a learning curve. We haven't had a holiday in over 6 years, but you know what I'm not bothered.

Look to the future - yep whinging and moaning just lets those negative thoughts reproduce doesn't it. I'm very easily swayed so am picking up more self help books for the ride.

hypno06

Right, straight talking time.......you HAVE been bloody strong over the last year or so, so none of this "I don't identify with the word strong" stuff, ok......You have proved that you can deal with whatever is thrown at you....and yes, it has been hard, but you have come through it. So take absolute knowledge from the fact that whatever comes along in 2009, or 2010, or whenever, you can deal with it, because you have dealt with far worse before.

So, armed with that knowledge that you are a tough cookie (although at times a little crumbly round the edges, as we all are!) now is the time to learn how to wallpaper the bathroom! And if the first attempt is a disaster, laugh about it, throw wallpaper glue over the kids, and have another go....

Don't fret if a spending diary doesn't work for you, or if meal planning isn't your thing - I can't keep a spending diary for the life of me, so just concentrate on the things that work for me. If it doesn't work for you, don't waste your energy on it, instead concentrate on the things you CAN achieve and the rest will slot in gradually.

And yes, remember that you and the kids need TLC - and that costs nothing.....give yourselves a break (not necessarily of the holiday sort) and just dish out the hugs from time to time, and treat yourself from time to time to a little "something"......see if you can reduce the fags, and put the money aside for a little pampering or something like that?

xx

Different_Corner

hypno06 wrote: »

Right, straight talking time.......you HAVE been bloody strong over the last year or so, so none of this "I don't identify with the word strong" stuff, ok......You have proved that you can deal with whatever is thrown at you....and yes, it has been hard, but you have come through it. So take absolute knowledge from the fact that whatever comes along in 2009, or 2010, or whenever, you can deal with it, because you have dealt with far worse before.

Thanks Hypno. Feeling up and and them this weekend, probably becuase my brain has at last defrosted !
I think what I mean about the suggestion of strong is that sometimes there's no choice. I was so cold and miserable this last week but we had no choice, nothing we could do about it so went with it. Plenty of duvet days .

And you are right have been tested but that's it, sure I'll be tested again, but I can make it as hard as I want it to be. I can't change the past, but here we go for the future :T

The decorating will be fun, never know I may become a DIY goddess !

hypno06

I love decorating - getting loads of samples and choosing colours.......I once did GCSE interior design at evening class (I just wanted to do something completely different) and thoroughly enjoyed it.

The bits I don't like are the hard work "prep" bits - polyfilling cracks and bits like that!