Should I buy my 4-year-old son pink shoes?

squirrelchops

Interesting thread.....sorry not read it all but first 2 and last 2 pages so sorry if I repeat anything already said!

The OP said that her boy was used to seeing his Cousin in pink........this to me is quite key to his desire for the pink trainers...PRIMARY SOCIALISATION.

This is where we learn the 'norms' and 'values' of society around us by being influenced by our families. SECONDARY SOCIALISATION from school peers, other peer group or adult influences or work to name a few comes later.

Hence it would appear to jme the young boy in question has picked up on soemting he likes now and may well alter his love of pink in the future and become a fully clothed in black, pierced, hair dyed Goth or whatever in the future!

My firends little boy loved wearing her hight heels around the house as that's what Mummy wore. He not only had a hammer and screwdireiver set, he had a cooker and ironing board that he loved. Great...a well balanced child.

Ask yourself this question......when a child comes out of the womb do they knwo pink is supposedly for girls and blue supposedly for boys?

OF COURSE NOT! They, as children become given gender roles by the society around them. Society places its expectations of what is suitable for girls or boys on them.

squirrelchops

NB. sorry for my typos above....proof reading at 6am is not my strong point!

adouglasmhor

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I am jealous, because I am sorry to report that I've been unable to find any suitable trainers (ie black with a flash of pink) in an adult size 8 which are comfortable. I seem to have very awkward shaped feet ... Never mind, I've only tried once so far, will go look again later in the week.

GF is size 8 she has a pair of patrick and a pair of nike in black with pink detail. Can't saw whenter her feet are awkward or not though. (they are cold sometimes though).

adouglasmhor

squirrelchops wrote: »

Interesting thread.....sorry not read it all but first 2 and last 2 pages so sorry if I repeat anything already said!

The OP said that her boy was used to seeing his Cousin in pink........this to me is quite key to his desire for the pink trainers...PRIMARY SOCIALISATION.

This is where we learn the 'norms' and 'values' of society around us by being influenced by our families. SECONDARY SOCIALISATION from school peers, other peer group or adult influences or work to name a few comes later.

Hence it would appear to jme the young boy in question has picked up on soemting he likes now and may well alter his love of pink in the future and become a fully clothed in black, pierced, hair dyed Goth or whatever in the future!

My firends little boy loved wearing her hight heels around the house as that's what Mummy wore. He not only had a hammer and screwdireiver set, he had a cooker and ironing board that he loved. Great...a well balanced child.

Ask yourself this question......when a child comes out of the womb do they knwo pink is supposedly for girls and blue supposedly for boys?

OF COURSE NOT! They, as children become given gender roles by the society around them. Society places its expectations of what is suitable for girls or boys on them.

This made me laugh as it brought back a memory. When I was little (about 4 or 5) I had to be taken to the doctors as I had pushed fake pearl beads into my lugholes, the reason as I explained to the doctor was "I wanted pearlings in my ears like mummy". I never did it again though.

LouLou

I thought of this link when I saw these..http://www.prodirectsoccer.com/prodinfo.asp?DPID=PDS-002-009-185&DEPT=2&BRAND=9&SS=1&PROFILE=Speed

I think individuality should be encouraged. Maybe more people would be themselves if they weren't so hemmed in by peer pressure and wanting to "fit in". Maybe it's just a phase. Whatever it is, make your boy happy, be proud of him and love him. Who cares about narrow-minded people.

As for me, I'm a girl and I'm not at all keen on pink, I prefer blue I don't see anyone getting upset about that!

jessyharri

My son is 5 he has pink t shirts tops e.t.c. He also likes the colour pink and 'girls' toys probaly due to the fact his sister is 15 months older and a girly girs, he also loves filing his nails, going to the hairdressers etc. If he want's them then why not? It's a very trendy colour for boys now a days any way. x

Aaagh

Mutter wrote: »

My point would not be whether pink shoes or not, but that a Four year old should have a choice.
Why would anyone allow a four year old to choose?

To be perfectly honest, I'm far more interested as to who is paying for the shoes.
You Op,? ........ Or me?

Eh? Me, unless you want to send me the tenner I paid for them (PM me if you do, all donations accepted).

One of the best buys I've ever made. I listen to his opinion but I make the ultimate decision as I am the 'sensible' (LOL) adult. You can usually make them do what you want by using the right tactics - reverse psychology, making them think it's their decision etc.

In my opinion, as soon as you start dictating what they should do that is when they start rebelling and when the problems really start. He's only 3 1/2 so what do I know? I've had no embarrassing tantrums yet.

mountainlioness

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

He's a boy for heaven's sake, why on earth would you buy him pink shoes? It's traditionally a girls colour and he is a boy. Different is he wants to paint all his pictures in pink or have pink icing on his cakes but you are talking about buying a little boy some girls clothing...are you mad?!!

Actually - not true! Used to be the other way round: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7817496.stm

I just don't get this need to programme our kids into gender stereotypes... 'oh i can't decorate the nursery until I know what it is' why? will society fall apart at the seams? will you manage to send those subliminal signals into the infant brain that turn it (god forbid!) gay? I saw an ad on Freecycle yesterday offering white and blue babygrows - for a boy 'unless you don't mind a girl not being in pink' girls are only allowed to wear pink?

Let your DS dress how he wants, I say - he'll have his individuality stamped out of him soon enough when societal pressure makes him realise he has to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, behave a certain way to be accepted as a boy. i think it's great he's got his own mind and opinions!

We're expecting our first right now and we'll definitely be asking for gender neutral stuff to start with - the kid can choose what s/he likes to play with and wear as s/he grows up. Why should we dictate on these small matters of personality when there are far more important issues like right and wrong, fair and unfair, being considerate to others etc etc that we need to help him/her develop?

And let's leave the sexuality thing out of this - it's the 21st century for frig's sake. Might be gay, might not be - relax :cool:

Claire3121

My son wanted a doll when he was about 4,so I got him one. My FIL and hubby were not impressed

Aaagh

Just revisited this thread I started a while ago, which made me smile.

My son, now 5 1/2, thinks pink is for girls and wouldn't dream of wearing anything pink. His favourite colour is now yellow!

However, he still loves his hairdressing box and one of his favourite games is for me to look in the book he has made with cut-outs of different hairstyles and for him to comb my hair, put clips in and ask me if I've been on holiday or if I'm going to a party tonight ...