Asking for money as a wedding gift

*Louise*

mrcow wrote: »

I'm getting to the point where I prefer giving cash as couples have so much already these days that I'm sure they don't need any more toasters or ornaments.

I'm the same - and it makes my life much easier as well

Marky123

mrcow wrote: »

Don't even give it a second's thought.

It is protocol to have a weddding list. Guests will expect it. Actually, if I've been invited to a wedding and the gift list doesn't come with the invite, it's a pain as then you have to start enquiring what to get.

Think about something that you would really like and then put it on the list - your family and friends will be more than happy to buy or put towards it. The more recent weddings I've been to, the bride and groom have asked for holiday vouchers for the honeymoon which seemd to work quite well, but gifts or money is just as good.

Congrats btw.

Thanks. Thats put my mind at rest a wee bit.

IWantToBeFree_2

I'm the total opposit, I would have the list but only give it on request. Sending it in the invites is so tacky, whether its the 'norm' or not,

mrcow

IWantToBeFree wrote: »

I'm the total opposit, I would have the list but only give it on request. Sending it in the invites is so tacky, whether its the 'norm' or not,

You don't send an actual "list".

You just put a note in your invitation and let your guests know where the list is being held (whether that is a particular store (s), or a relative is taking care of it, or whether you are asking for money or vouchers etc).

It's not a question of being "tacky" - it's just normal wedding protocol.

IWantToBeFree_2

I am fully aware of how wedding lists work...

As for it being normal wedding protocol, shows how much weddings have evolved over the past decade or so, there was a time when they used to be about showing your commitment to each other infront of your family and friends, now they just appear to be about who can get the most presents, have the biggest list, send the tackiest poem, have the most lavish wedding...

In the midst of all that I feel that the real reason why people are getting married is lost, and that is mirrored by the amount of civil ceremonies as well....

I am so glad that I am going against 'protocol' and having such a simple wedding.

mrcow

IWantToBeFree wrote: »

I am fully aware of how wedding lists work...

As for it being normal wedding protocol, shows how much weddings have evolved over the past decade or so, there was a time when they used to be about showing your commitment to each other infront of your family and friends, now they just appear to be about who can get the most presents, have the biggest list, send the tackiest poem, have the most lavish wedding...

In the midst of all that I feel that the real reason why people are getting married is lost, and that is mirrored by the amount of civil ceremonies as well....

I am so glad that I am going against 'protocol' and having such a simple wedding.

All "in your opinion" of course :rolleyes:

Don't know about the "past decade" thing btw.......I've been to more weddings than I can remember over the years and have always been given access to wedding lists.

Just because you want one particular type of wedding, it doesn't mean that other's preferences are wrong. If you want others to respect your decisions on your wedding choices, it's generally considered polite for you to afford them the same courtesy? If someone wants a civil ceremony, then that is their choice, made for their own reasons.

Marky123

Just to be clear. I didn't want a list nor did I want to ask for vouchers or money. There will be no tacky poems and the wedding is certainly not lavish.

The list will be online and the invitation will explain to people that we don't expect a pressie but if they would like to buy one there is a list.

The most important thing is that all of our closest friends will be there. After being together for 17 years since the age of 17 I think we are getting married for all the right reasons. And its not to get presents.

Milly1974

IWantToBeFree wrote: »

In the midst of all that I feel that the real reason why people are getting married is lost, and that is mirrored by the amount of civil ceremonies as well....

It is not often that people really wind me up, but you just got me there. Obviously, the reason I am having a civil ceremony is because I am a heathen, money-grabbing cow who is only getting married to have my own 'big Daaaay' and blow all my parent's saving on a party that will get me lots of presents.

My mistake, there I was labouring under the impression that maybe I was having a civil ceremony because I want the world to know that I love my partner enough to commit to him for the rest of my life, but feel that a pre-requisite of a church wedding (cheaper than some civil weddings) should be belief in God. Obviously marriage should then be restricted to the pious.

Jeez...

Neeny82

Sheeeesh!!!!!! Think some people need to chill out a little!

At the end of the day - IT IS YOUR WEDDING! Do what the hell you want!

You will never please everyone! For every person who has told me that they like wedding poems or lists there's someone else saying they are awful!

I have been to 7 weddings over the past 2 years (3 as a bridesmaid) and only ONE of those had a wedding gift list!

The others either had nothing in the invitation or had a couple of lines stating that if you would like to donate money it would be used for new kitchen/honeymoon/cosmetic surgery(only kidding ;o) x )

I personally was not offended by any! In actual fact though I have heard not one person complain about it being cheeky for asking for cash, although I did hear complaints about the wedding gift list (what the hell do they need that for, who would pay that much for this etc etc!)

Weddings are stressful enough as it is without this worry that you are going to upset or offend anyone! If someone wants to complain about something - they will!

You will have a wonderful day - the last thing on your mind on the day will be how much money the guests have given you as presents!!! x x x x x x

ClareEmily

I got married last year and we wanted Canadian Dollars for our honeymoon, but we didn't put a wedding list or request for a present in with our invites, so no daft poem etc.

All we did was brief my mum and sister on what we really wanted and if people choose to give us a present they went through them.

BTW we got more than enough Canadian Dollars which covered all our meals out, and spending money for everything else we wanted to do, people were very generous.