Are these situtions different...or not?

1sue23

I deal with all of the money ,husband not interested ,on pay day I pay all the bills I have an egg money card which pays for food and petrol and this is paid off in full each month,I then divide what is left over between us both which is about £200 each and this pays for coffee out ,any hobbies etc ,I always have some left which I put into a pot and this builds up over the year and pays to take the family out for a family treat, this seems to work for both of us and we never argue over money.

skintchick

I haven;t thought this through properly so am thinknig aloud, but could Mr S stop keeping the change etc but put it in a pot, and Mrs s do the same with any household money left at the end of each week? Then they would have a treat stash to share equally between them.

Also, if he is taking cash and she will have to go over budget to replace it and buy something essential, then I'm afraid if it were me I'd be mak,ing sure I only bought essentials for me and not Mr S.

If he steals money from the food budget to fritter on non-essentials then it is him who should suffer.

I really think he is behaving badly, no matter how justififed he feels, ultimately they do not have spare money.

yoni_one

My knee jerk thoughts to the crux of the problem is that by default of Mr S's lack of interest in budgeting Mrs S is landed with the responsibility for the finances.

Clearly Mrs S is going to feel miffed after planning the weekly budget to find Mr S has dipped in to it without letting her know.

She argues that he can go to the bank for the cash and he argues that she can go to the bank for the cash.

Well, she already has been to the bank for the cash and withdrawn as per her budgeting.

Mr S seems to want it both ways. He claims to be not adept at money matters yet he is very capable of saving up the money he has 'collected' to purchase things for himself so he isn't a complete numpty is he? The secrecy that surrounds this seems a pretty childish way of going about it.

Of course Mr S should be entitled to family income, but to make it fair all round he really should take more of an interest and get involved so his own needs can be adequately included in the budgeting.

At the moment he chooses not to be involved in the decision making for family budgeting yet still makes decisions for his own spending.

It's a no win situation for her and win /win for him - until she finds she doesn't have enough bus fare to get home etc, I imagine it doesn't feel very win / win for him when she gets hold of him after such times.