Does it make me a bad mother??

MadDogWoman_2

Hi,

Some more support coming your way.

My DD is 20 months now, she's had several colds and teething during these times all she wants is bf, day and night.

The best advice I got when she was tiny was forget the housework and rest when baby does - which was a life saver for me as I had a c-section.

You are a fantastic mum for BF him especially him being in SCBU I can't imagine how hard that must have been.

MDW

cazscoob

breastfeeding can be hard enough and tiring without being ill on top of it! i done exactly the same when Charlie was tiny i had had enough he screamed to be fed and i just couldnt, he had formula and it never put him up nor down. i got a few hours slepp and felt so much better.

dont worry yourself about it you are doing your best and all that you can:D oh and get well soon x

Silaqui

I have no kids yet but have no intention of breastfeeding - another matter anyway.
Feed your baby in the way that makes you comfortable and it (sorry can't remember what you said it was, not being horrible there!) comfortable.
If you desperately wanted to b/f yourself, well you are doing brilliantly for trying but you'll be an even better mum if you are happy and comfortable that frazzled and sore.
If you are upset because of what others might say, ignore the titty police - DO WHATS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY. I wasn't breastfed and I'm OK!

beckseven

A really valid phrase that someone said to me when I had my DS is that feeding is such a very small part of being a good mother. A bottle of formula will not hurt your baby-you have done so well in feeding him yourself so far-give yourself a break. With DS I nearly worked myself up into a nervous breakdown about bf-he ended up in scbu at 5 days old near death having lost 20% of his body weight because he wasn't getting any milk from me and I was so inexperienced and so unsupported by my midwife that I had no idea and my midwife just kept saying 'You're not feeding him properly but don't you dare give him a bottle-we don't do bottles' The hospital raised a critical incident against her. Anyway that's by the by now and he is a strapping 3 year old but I just wish that I hadn't given myself such a hard time about it last time. I hope you both had a good night sleep and that you aren't feeling guilty anymore. Big hugs-you are doing so well with breastfeeding and have already given him a fantastic start in life.

skint-student-nurse

OP, dont feel bad, you cant be a bad mother as you given your baby the best start in life just by BF him! my baby was in SCBU for 8 days and i was trying to BF her but it was too much - she wanted feeding every hour at one point :eek: and i had to put her on formula. i felt bad but looking back, i was doing the right thing by my baby and it helped her sleep better and feed less.

pinkpig08

I only managed to breastfeed DS for a week after he was born, I was so sore. I felt terrible for changing to formula - like I'd let him down. He's now 6 and is bright, smart and a complete pleasure - most of the time!!

I phoned the midwife who told me it was important that I was happy too and could enjoy my baby. I'm going to try breastfeeding again with baby no.2 due in June, but if it doesn't work out then that's how it is and at least I will have tried. Don't be hard on yourself. You need to be healthy too.

Blackpool_Saver

Hey lady, I breastfed my son on SCBU, he was 3 floors up away from me and they would phone the ward when he was rooting, I know how hard that all is, they had my expressed milk in the fridge too to feed him in the night.

I fed alternate formula and breast after I got home and maybe you could do this too.....

morganb

On a different note; when DS1 / DS2 were poorly and snuffly as little one's, I used to place a wedge pillow underneath their mattress, to raise them up a bit .. helped them breathe a bit easier (was advised not to put the pillow under the child as it could raise body temperature, etc., etc.) This may be helpful, even though DS is in bed with you; could you raise the mattress on his side somehow?

lisas_3

nope get some rest and don't worry, companies don't spend billions researching formulas for them to be bad for your baby. I've had to bottle feed 2 (both healthy touch wood) but have had friends who've used formula at night for breast fed babies to get them through the night and they are fine 2, its whichever works best for you. try a vapouriser in the room to help breathing and dont beat yourself up !

woozywendy

Nobody is a bad mother if they do not breast feed their baby. Neither of my daughters would breast feed and I tried really hard with both of them. My first daughter would latch on have 2 sucks and go to sleep and start snoring. The midwifes found this quite amusing. I was in hospital for 4 days trying to get her to feed from me and all the midwifes would come round and try various positions with me, even me on my knees lying over my daughter :rolleyes2. I put her on the bottle with no pressure from anybody and did not stress about it. Nobody should, they should just enjoy being with their newborn baby.