Worst situation ever!!!!!!

siowenson

Entertainer wrote: »

Your ex sounds like a spoilt madam. When are parents going to realise that they shouldn't bring up kids like that? I bet she's no happier for it. Unless you want to spend your life with harsh women you need to find yourself a nice girl. There are some around.

I sincerely hope so!

siowenson

I dont know why I forgot but when we remortgaged the flat, one year before buying the house, I agreed to let my ex consolidate £8.5k of debt into the mortgage. Now by her reckoning, if I have to pay her parents back half of the £10k they put down for a deposit then I would be well within my rights to ask for the £8.5k back. No?

And for the record, things aren't going very smoothly now. I want to move back into the house and take on lodgers (a couple of my friends are keen) and let her move back to her mums but she wants to stay and do the same thing.
Its a mexican standoff! We both have as much right as the other to be there!

The main reason I want her to move back to her mums is because its 25 miles away from my hometown (where the house and all my friends are) and it will help get her out of my life so I can try to forget about her. The problem being she doesn't want me to forget about her. She has been coming round to my local pub, basically because I told her not to, and p!ssing me off because I can't have a good night when she is there, to the point of me not going. Remember, she has been in my life for almost 9 years so all my friends were hers too. All the guys are on my side but unfortunately she has been hanging round with one of my best mates (and hers I suppose), who is female, and I'll admit its making me jealous. I cant say to the female mate(call her C) not to hang out with my ex because that isn't fair but for some reason she doen't seem to understand that I have to be apart from my ex to recover and taking her to my local is not helping matters.

From all that has happened in the last week this rant should be massive but I'm just giving you guys a wee brief. Sorry. lol.

I'm going to get in contact with CAB on monday to see what I can do with the finances.

franklee

Hi siowenson,

How does your situation now fit in with the flat or did you mange to sell it in the end?

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.html?p=8067119&postcount=5

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=10698305#post10698305

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=11237255#post11237255

Who paid the other 10K for the deposit on the semi, assuming GF's parents paid half the 20K. If you did sell the flat how did you cover any losses. I think you need to write a full statement for both properties to work out who owes what and who paid what before you can work out how to settle up.

siowenson

We paid the other 10k with the profit we got from the sale of the flat. All the other fee's were paid 50/50 by my ex and I.

I've just found out my estate agent is going to cost £3440. Robbing barstewards!

siowenson

The early redemtion fee is just under £5k if we settle before sept this year.

Do you think its worth waiting untill sept to sell the house to avoid the fee? Personally, I reckon the house prices will have dropped by more than that by sept so it makes no odds.

^!£$&

I hope that your situation improves asap op
But I'm also posting as I feel the need to repeat what other posters have said! Not all 20 something women are materialistic wag wannabes
I'm female & 23 yrs old I paid for my own car, buy all my own clothes, and pay my way in life!! and although I'm single right now when I have had bf's I'm not the kinda person to fleece them for all they've got!!

Infact its the opposite unless its my bday or xmas I dont expect gifts and when I do get them I worry if the sender of the gift can afford it and what I've done to deserve it??

Not all young women are so materialistic, some Like me would just like a good person to be with, grow old with and have a family one day!
Wealth or status dont matter, finding the right person to be with is far more important
And from my point of view I think you've had a lucky escape things happen for a reason and I'm sure although 09 has got off to a rocky start thigks will improve for you.
And to be be perfectly honest you sound far too good for your ex anyway, I think you can do way better!!

arunadasi

My daughter is a very beautiful 18 year old, very warm hearted and just lovely in nature. She's the kind of person who will actually look at a check-out lady and say a few friendly words. I'd say any man would love to be with her but she took her time choosing a first boyfriend and always said she was looking for someone special.
When she found that special person he turned out to be a mechanic with a job (at the moment) washing cars and not much money at all. They are very happy together - five months now - and she says he treats her like a princess - he's lovely. They want to stay together and he is going to move with her to Somerset when she goes to University in September. For her, character is really the most important thing. I am sure there are more young women like her, you just have to look for hem in the right places.

siowenson

Again, thanks for the helpfull responses, they are very much appreciated.

I am now in the house after my ex went totaly crazy at the weekend - I'm not going to get into it but she admits that she basically set out to hurt me. Trust me, much arguing followed but I'm glad to say we're back on speaking terms as of last night when she appologised and is now looking at things from my perspective. She concedes that I need time apart from her to get my head back together - thank !!!!!

Sooo, I'm now taking on one of my mates as a lodger and I'll probably be placing an ad on gumtree to find someone else, my next question is where can I find more information regarding being a landlord(if thats the correct term for this situation?)?
Do I need to write up a contract?

LandyAndy

arunadasi wrote: »

My daughter is a very beautiful 18 year old, very warm hearted and just lovely in nature. She's the kind of person who will actually look at a check-out lady and say a few friendly words. I'd say any man would love to be with her but she took her time choosing a first boyfriend and always said she was looking for someone special.
When she found that special person he turned out to be a mechanic with a job (at the moment) washing cars and not much money at all. They are very happy together - five months now - and she says he treats her like a princess - he's lovely. They want to stay together and he is going to move with her to Somerset when she goes to University in September. For her, character is really the most important thing. I am sure there are more young women like her, you just have to look for hem in the right places.

I'll bet any money you like they won't be together at Christmas 2009.

This sounds like the sort of relationship that breaks down as soon as your daughter realises that the world is a lot bigger than she thought.:o

patch3228

That's a bit harsh ... althow you are right - uni will change everything!

I'd bet any money they would still be together at Christmas 09, since she is only hopping away to uni in September 09...and if they are that in love, they are unlikely to break up before September 09

- not saying they will still be together in 2010 thow!