Worst situation ever!!!!!!

siowenson

She is a girl who wants more more more and who is never happy with what she has, she always has to have that little something extra.
All these years I've been giving her what she wanted, now that we're stuck, she is bailing.
But, then again, what 20 something female of this day and age doesn't? Consumerism and the strive to get a man who can give them everything on a plate has been drummed into them from a small age.
I don't know about you guys but I've noticed that a lot of people are splitting up recently. It is my view that if my ex-fiancee and I cant make a go of it, no-one can.

RandomDan

Sorry to hear about your situation.

As the house has three bedrooms, would it be possible for you and your ex and a paying lodger to live in the property while it is being sold? I see no point in not living in a house you are paying for. The income from lodger would go a long way towards paying for the bills. A lodger would also be a bit of a buffer between you and your ex in the house so you have someone else to talk to.

Selling is probably for the best, especially if you want a clean break from the ex; but unless you price very competatively it might take a while to sell and her living in the house alone does not make financial sense. If you rent the house fully to a family then you would have less flexibility timewise if you do manage to sell; or would not be appealing to a family in the first place if they knew it was for sale. Renting a single room on a short-term basis might be a compromise.

ceebeeby

Darth_Marty wrote: »

Good lad, bar work is awesome for totty so im guessing you wont be sad or lonely for long!

:shocked:

Naughty, naughty, naughty ...... NO!!!

siowenson

A very mad one!!

Her parents stand to loose 8K or so.

siowenson

RandomDan wrote: »

Sorry to hear about your situation.

As the house has three bedrooms, would it be possible for you and your ex and a paying lodger to live in the property while it is being sold? I see no point in not living in a house you are paying for. The income from lodger would go a long way towards paying for the bills. A lodger would also be a bit of a buffer between you and your ex in the house so you have someone else to talk to.

Selling is probably for the best, especially if you want a clean break from the ex; but unless you price very competatively it might take a while to sell and her living in the house alone does not make financial sense. If you rent the house fully to a family then you would have less flexibility timewise if you do manage to sell; or would not be appealing to a family in the first place if they knew it was for sale. Renting a single room on a short-term basis might be a compromise.

My fiancee has offered a room to her friend from work and her partner so that might help in the meantime.

ceebeeby

siowenson wrote: »

She is a girl who wants more more more and who is never happy with what she has, she always has to have that little something extra.
All these years I've been giving her what she wanted, now that we're stuck, she is bailing.
But, then again, what 20 something female of this day and age doesn't? Consumerism and the strive to get a man who can give them everything on a plate has been drummed into them from a small age.
I don't know about you guys but I've noticed that a lot of people are splitting up recently. It is my view that if my ex-fiancee and I cant make a go of it, no-one can.

But you see, that's only from your side (I feel, that in the absence of the ex Ms Si, that I need to balance the debate now, and I'm only just (who am I kidding!) out of the 20 something bracket!!)

Basically, you have the old saying about wondering if the grass would be greener on the other side.

• If you regularly water your partners grass, then there won't be any greener, lusher grass anywhere.
• Occasionally you have to water both yours and your partners grass, but that's okay, because sometimes they have to do both too.
• Sometimes, the grass can grow so much that it needs mown, but it'll still need watered, so that it can grow back.
• Sometimes, you water your partners grass, and they don't realise it .. but it's okay to remind them about how green it is, and how much you've contributed to it.
• Sometimes they secretly water yours, and it's not until you stop and look at it, that you realise that it's been done!
• Some days, extra special flowers might need to be included in the grass!
• Sometimes it rains really hard, and you don't think the grass needs any water, so you stop watering it. Then it stops raining, but you don't realise, and eventually the lush green grass goes brown, and the only way to rescue it, is to give it additional TLC (Lawn Feed).
• Some days, the dog down the round comes and poos in the grass, and it needs cleaned up, and you might need to do that for your partner
• And sometimes, you can stand back and admire the grass, and realise that instead of two patches, you've got one garden

I think I've gone off topic ....!;)

siowenson

What a humerous anology!

I think i may have over-watered the garden and neglected the trimming.

Hehe, it was my first gardening attemp so hopefully I'll have better luck next time.

Oh, and once I get a bar job I'll have some fun playing the grand national through everyones lawns, just like when I was a kid. The thing about jumping hedges is: its a lot better when the bushes are trimmed.
I'm not even going to mention the poops! :rotfl:

ceebeeby

But is it her garden that's over watered or yours?

Because if it's hers, then does she see it the same ... and if it needs trimmed, then could you not give her a hand.

And what about your garden? How does that look?

The thing about trampling over other people's gardens is that sometimes you can make a mess, that takes the owners ages to clean up ....

Dithering_Dad

ceebeeby wrote: »

But you see, that's only from your side (I feel, that in the absence of the ex Ms Si, that I need to balance the debate now, and I'm only just (who am I kidding!) out of the 20 something bracket!!)

Basically, you have the old saying about wondering if the grass would be greener on the other side.

• If you regularly water your partners grass, then there won't be any greener, lusher grass anywhere.
• Occasionally you have to water both yours and your partners grass, but that's okay, because sometimes they have to do both too.
• Sometimes, the grass can grow so much that it needs mown, but it'll still need watered, so that it can grow back.
• Sometimes, you water your partners grass, and they don't realise it .. but it's okay to remind them about how green it is, and how much you've contributed to it.
• Sometimes they secretly water yours, and it's not until you stop and look at it, that you realise that it's been done!
• Some days, extra special flowers might need to be included in the grass!
• Sometimes it rains really hard, and you don't think the grass needs any water, so you stop watering it. Then it stops raining, but you don't realise, and eventually the lush green grass goes brown, and the only way to rescue it, is to give it additional TLC (Lawn Feed).
• Some days, the dog down the round comes and poos in the grass, and it needs cleaned up, and you might need to do that for your partner
• And sometimes, you can stand back and admire the grass, and realise that instead of two patches, you've got one garden

I think I've gone off topic ....!;)

So basically (with no evidence whatsoever, I might add) you've decided that the split up is all the OPs fault for not 'keeping his grass watered', i.e. making sure he contnues to spoil his ex? Brilliant deduction, except that spoiling this girl is how he got into this financial mess, and from the sound of the £10k handout from her parents, it's something she has gotten used to all her life.. :rolleyes:

Getting back to what the OP actually asked advice on - this financial situation, not his love life, is there no way your ex could buy you out? Her parents already have a large stake in the property and would stand to lose a lot of money if the house is sold for a loss. Your ex also sounds like she has some of her mates lined up ready to lodge, so it makes perfect sense for her to take on the house.

You could get a valuation from 3 estate agents and average the amount out, if it's in negative equity, you could then pay your ex half the neg equity and she takes you off the mortgage. If there is any positive equity then your ex pays you (or you let her off with this and walk away).

The worst case scenario, would be to get declared bankrupt and then you will have zero liability for your half of the property.

Good luck.

ceebeeby

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

So basically (with no evidence whatsoever, I might add) you've decided that the split up is all the OPs fault for not 'keeping his grass watered'

.... No, just tongue in cheek wondering if they were going through a drought, or whether there might be more water in their well.

If you read OP's other threads he's not had the house that long, and as you'll probably know, it takes a while for new lawns to get established, and often needs daily watering to keep it thriving.

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