child no longer wants present

jellyhead

Does her father live with you? What does he think about her attitude towards the meal?

My boy is in the same school year as 13 year olds but he's the youngest. He wouldn't get a choice. He might gurn about it and sulk for a while, but he realises that he is not the centre of the universe and that sometimes he is expected to do things to please other people.

If she doesn't want to go for the meal what is she going to do instead? My son would be given the choice of coming with us or being looked after by another adult in their home - NOT staying at home playing on the PS3.

So many of you say this is typical teen behaviour but she is only 13 - is my son going to turn into a selfish monster next year? :eek: He does have hormonal tantrums but at the moment he apologises afterwards and accepts that the world doesn't revolve around him.

Loretta

As my very wise mother in law used to say, you are the adult and she is the child and don't forget it.

You are supporting her financially, housing her etc and she is not capable of doing either for herself so you are in charge not her. You say this is what is happening and there is no further dicussion and then you do the 'whatever' bit and it is 'take it or leave it time' She is behaving very childishly. She is attention seeking so make sure she only gets attention when she is behaving well not when she is behaving like a spoilt brat. This needs nipping in the bud or she will make everyone's life a misery, spoil evryone's Christmas and she will take up far more than her share of your time and energy. You have spent the money and bought a really good present for her, you have done your bit and that is the end of it, if she doesn't like it or damages she won't have a phone and next year she can have an orange and a bit of coal!!

I love that comment about teenages are god's punishment! I really don't know how any of us survive teenagers!

morganb

I remember those family meals when I was a teenager.
I never wanted to go to any of them! But I never had a choice and wouldn't have dared say otherwise!
And strangely, I'm reminiscing and missing those times now ... I must have had far too much Cava last night ...

seven-day-weekend

jellyhead wrote: »

Both of mine have been vile toddlers, but everyone tells me they make the loveliest adults ... somebody please tell me it's true? :rotfl:

Yes, it's probably true because my vile toddler (and OK teenager) has turned into a very helpful, polite and charming adult!

seven-day-weekend

If she is going to keep pulling a face I would not even give her the phone. I also would not let her spoil everybody else's Christmas meal and if she insists sjhe doesn't want to join in she could sit in another room on her own (with no TV etc) while you are all enjoying yourselves.

If she puts her face straight and keeps it straight that is a different matter.

woozywendy

Everything my daughters get will be a surprise as I do not think there is anything that they have asked for. Santa has put names on all the toys in the shops for the children and that is why they cannot have anything in the 2 months leading up to christmas day. As a child all I ever looked for was my selection box, annuals and colouring books anything else was a bonus as we did not get as much as the children seem to get today. The only time I was ever disappointed was when I wanted a slush cone maker, I think it was called Mr Slushi and Santa never brought me one.

mrcow

Is it too late to return it? (I don't know how mobile phone purchases work....but I'd at least try). And in return, she'd get just her other presents and nothing more. What she's done is very ungrateful.

If she couldn't care less whether she gets it or not, I'd opt for not!

I can't even imagine being so precious about something like a phone at that age and there is no way I'd stand for it from a dependant of mine.

Ellie2758

At last, somebody mentions the meal. That was the bit that jumped out at me too. I'd better not say anymore or I will offend but I am so tired of seeing kids ruling the roost these days.

Ellie

manda1205 wrote: »

I agree with most others on here, shes 13, you've bought her a present, tought luck! If she doesnt want it come christmas day then as ^ tell her to sell it and buy another one with the monies raised!
And as for not knowing if she wants to come to the meal or not. Sorry, but at 13 I had no choice! If you're going out for a family meal, then in my book until shes 16 she HAS to come, even if she sits there all night with a grump on!
Izzzzythedog, I know plenty of poeple like you described! And then people wonder why teenagers are now leading the parents and getting away with murder, literally! Whats happened to the parent being in charge and telling your kids what to do! Im only 28 but I was brought up being pretty worried by what my dad thought. I was grounded at 18 because I can home late(bout 3ish) one night and had to come home for 12 for a good couple of months, and this was because I lived in his house and so had to do as he said! Its doen me no harm and I respect him for sticking to his guns (even if he weren't so hard on my younger sister :rolleyes: )
Sorry rant over! No offence to OP, just get a bit toughter, you're the boss!

CFC

I was dragged off to family meals when I was a teenager. There was no choice.

I don't think you should be giving her the feeling that she has a choice, to be honest. You are making a rod for your own back by treating her as an adult. At 13 she is legally and emotionally and in reality just a child, although she clearly has an inflated sense of her own self importance. My twopence would be - don't feed that sense of self importance, or you are going to have a real problem on your hands when she hits 15-18.

westiea

Got 2 myself - just remember life begins again when u get to kick them out at 18 - lol!

Seriously tho the operative word (number!) here is 13!!
Hormones, school changes, bodily changes, boys and generally not fitting in - even at the grand old age of .... (whoops a lady never reveals!) I still remember gaaaah!
The 2 issues -

• The phone - well its HER pressie so if she chooses to throw it out of the pram, that up to her, she just wont get another (for a couple of months until shes sweat a bit) - trust me she'll only do it once then when she cant txt friends etc then a cheap phone very generously supplied by you in a moment of 'complete generosity and pity' as suggested from Tescos will be greatfully received and brownie (temp tho!) points 4 u.
• The meal - we have just had our 'family' one so can understand your predicament! I have to agree with other posters - tough - its one day out of a year where someone else come 1st so you have to go. I find a bit of bribery ('yes you can go out till 9 to your friends the nxt day') works a treat tho

I'm a g8 believer in the carrot not the stick but boy 13-17, its a trying time.
good luck and hopefully have a merry christmas!
:xmastree: :xmassign: :xmastree: