child no longer wants present

blackcoffee

my dh has a sister by his mothers 2nd marriage and our lives go on stop when they come here, we never know when they are actually visiting, or if they are actually going to arrive, as this child basically makes the decisions ! if she doesnt want to come here, they dont come ! my dh & I cant understand how a teenager can be so spoilt and controlling !

when i was that age, if we had a family dinner booked, or had a family outing planned, we went; if we chose a gift for our birthday or christmas and were lucky enough to get it,there wasnt the availability or opening of a window to say we have changed our mind !!why give a 13 year old the choice ? said teenager in our family had her christmas lap top weeks ago.

i can understand at 13 the main present not being a suprise, there are plenty of other smaller items that build up that element, at that age its a case of being practical.

step kids/ step siblings etc, i think they are there to push the boundaries.

hope you have a peaceful christmas doelani.
xxx

dora37

None of mine know or have ever known what they are getting and the oldest is 17!!

Ours are 17,14 & 7 and when they have written various lists over the years, we always encouraged then to ask for 'for lots of surprises and chocolate', then gleaned from their conversations/personalities/interests etc what to actually get them.

We have always done it like this and they have never been disappointed yet. :j

bestpud

We have lists here and they know they will not get everything on it - much easier that way. They also know that adding or taking things away, may, or may not, work.

I let them alter their lists but I never say if they have changed something I already have!

I can see it is easier to know the model etc for something like a mobile phone though tbh.

seven-day-weekend

Tell her to sell the phone if she doesn't want it and use the proceeds to pay for the meal she isn't coming to.

Failing that, tell her to put her face straight, get her ar se into gear and get to the meal (now that she has deigned to accept the phone).

Although I think her natural parent should tell her, not you.

I only have one son, now grown up; he was never like that, but apparently that is the exception rather than the rule, so perhaps I was just lucky. (He was an absolutely vile toddler though!).

Pssst

Ungrateful brat....does she not believe in the magic of Christmas and the surprises that Mr Claus brings or has her young mind already been poisoned by the ugly commercialisation of Christmas? Put the phone to one side,let her have what you have already bought. If she asks for the phone and really wants it,give it to her. If not,sell it and pocket the money and remind her of how fortunate she is to have such caring parents whilst in other parts of the world,some parents are burying their starving children whilst she rejects her presents.
http://www.oxfam.org.uk/oxfam_in_action/emergencies/zimbabwe_gallery.html


PS when i was her age,my parents were p*ss poor and i was more than happy to get anything.

itzmee

My 12 year old son was exactly the same about a mobile phone he wants for Xmas. One week he wants it, the next week he doesn't. He saw a friend who has one who says it's brilliant, another friend said it's rubbish so he doesn't want it! Tough luck, I bought it before it ran out of stock and if he doesn't like it then he's not getting a replacement! Kids, who'd have them!:rolleyes:

seven-day-weekend

Pssst....Spot on.

maryotuam

I have 2 kids of my own and 2 stepkids. I've been so lucky as all four have grown up not being materialistic. However your average 13 yr old is usually very unhappy in their own skin as changing from a child to an adult can be a very challenging experience.This young lady will probably cringe with embarassment when you and she discuss this in 10 years time!

nearlyrich

I would give the phone to the local children's hospice to raffle off at their next fundraiser, no manupilation by ungrateful brats allowed here.

julie2710

nearlyrich wrote: »

I would give the phone to the local children's hospice to raffle off at their next fundraiser, no manupilation by ungrateful brats allowed here.

Here! here!:T