child no longer wants present

doelani

I have a 13 yo stepchild who picked her xmas present months ago, wanted a mobile phone, new model came out and she decided she wanted this. After a number of weeks because of it being so popular I managed to get one. This was about 5 weeks ago and before buying it asked time and time again " are you sure that is the one you want? "

We have been getting comments like " don't care if I get a phone" Suddenly tonight I asked " have you changed your mind about the model of phone ? " and yes she has , no longer wants that one :eek:

I cannot change it and cannot afford to buy a different one, this was not cheap it was £100. I am so mad. I feel she will " lose" the phone or it will become " damaged" . I acually feel like not giving it to her at all and giving her the other things we have bought which probally amount to about £30.

What do I do ?

pink_princess

joy of kids mine do this regularly.Just tell her you ve spoke to santa and its to late to change it.That normally shuts mine up lol.
PP

julie2710

Personally I would give her the phone - if she says she doesn't want it suggest she save the money to buy the one she wants. Explain that she had said this was the one she wanted and you had to save very hard to get it for her.
Kids can be so ungrateful in what has now become a very materialistic world where every one wants the latest phone/computer etc etc. These are the things which change quickest, although my 3 year old has changed his mind about what he wants for xmas twice in the last week:eek: a Nintendo Wii( although he calls it a pintendo:rotfl: ) a now a Ben10 watch!! Too bad I bought his gift a month ago - what happened to having suprise gifts and being happy with what you got????

Spendless

Still give her the phone. My 8yo has changed his mind about having a wii, but deep down I know it's cos he's worried that it's too expensive. Or she could just being a contrary teenager.

doelani

thanks for replies, not sure what we will do. I was informed earlier to " give it to someone who wants it " :mad: Latest now is we have booked a family meal in restauant over holidays and she has not decided yet if she is going to go. This has been booked for months and before it was booked everyone was asked and it was explained if anyone did not go we still had to pay for them, which we do.

I really just feel like leaving her at home. She could not be more awkward if she tried.

Janepig

Give it to her - if she "loses" or "breaks" it then she can get one in Tesco for a fiver.

Jxx

Savvy_Sue

Whatever you decide will be wrong, so I'd let the blood parent make these decisions. One or two less / fewer thing(s) to blame you for.

Obviously if she breaks or loses the phone, that's her problem. It wouldn't be replaced in this household, and she needs to know that. If she doesn't want it, she doesn't get anything to replace it, and she needs to know that too. And if she doesn't want to come to the meal, she pays you.

But probably best if it's not the stepparent telling her these things: you will be SO unreasonable. If it's the other one, you can smile sweetly and say you're sorry that's what their parent has decided, s/he can be SO unreasonable, can't they?

Debt_Free_Chick

Combination of her attitude to the phone and the meal suggests she is "just being 13" so nothing you do will be right/suitable. Time for you to practice the "whatever" stance - you will need the patience of a saint, but try to remember that its just her hormones

doelani

well quick update, "the phone will be ok , I suppose. Can you order me a bigger memory card for it ? " her money from a relative I will add.

So looks like she does want it after all..........................why when you get divorced do they not tell you what happens when you remarried and get stepchildren ? lol thank goodness this one is last in 6 teenagers between mine and his .

Sagz_2

She sounds like she is pushing buttons! Deep breath and don't rise to the bait - I know it's easier said than done!

After you've given her the phone maybe you could offer to help her sell it on ebay so she can buy one she does want, this may help her realise that she can't just change her mind and get her own way.

vansboy

Spendless wrote: »

Still give her the phone. My 8yo has changed his mind about having a wii, but deep down I know it's cos he's worried that it's too expensive. Or she could just being a contrary teenager.

Crikey! What an already grown up (& thoughtful) 8yrold you have there!!

He deserves his gift even more now!!

VB