DMP Mutual Support Thread (Part 5)

bigmommamuppet

Good Afternoon to all the lovely DMPers out there,:hello:

**** Moan Alert ****

DMP ticking along nicely so no worries there, but I'm feeling carp today with all this budgeting lark and having little or no spare money. I think it is down to spending a weekend with friends who obviously have no money worries as they splash the cash all over the place.

For example they nipped out on Saturday for a pair of shoes for the youngest and came back with shoes for their 2 children (£60), a dog blanket (£25), sunglasses (£45) and various bits and pieces; they spent best part of £150. We were camping and they had forgotten to take this stuff with them, so not needed really just extras. They do this practically every weekend.

They then asked if we could get a babysitter and go out for dinner next weekend to a posh restaurant so again looking at another £150- £200 for a night out. Managed to make my excuses and say that I needed a quiet weekend at home, which is true as we have been out and about with friends for the last 8 weekends and fancy a quiet night with DH, but it has got me down a bit as every time we get invited somewhere I need to have a good think to see if we can afford it and I’m constantly watching the pennies when we’re out to make sure that we don’t spend too much.

As our circle of friends all have young kids we very rarely go out but instead go round to each other’s houses for dinner etc. so that’s not too much of problem but last night after the camping trip my DH invited everyone back to ours for a BBQ, so I raided our freezer and fridge and managed to feed 6 adults & 6 kids with what I had indoors but now that leaves me short of food for the rest of the week and I’ll have to do some more shopping, plus I didn’t have enough wine so they had to nip to theirs to get some more which again made me feel a bit carp. They all have wine racks bursting whereas I only ever have 1-2 bottles in at a time.

**** Moan Over ****

Sorry for that

So my question is? How do you manage to budget and have a social life at the same time? (Only got another 8 years of this to go)

newlywed

what's a social life????? :rolleyes:

Eupho

newlywed wrote: »

what's a social life????? :rolleyes:

haha yeahh... :rolleyes2

Eupho

trying_to_stay_positive wrote: »

just on the way to the post office to send my first payment - was going to start july but just want to get the ball rolling. Its left me with no emergency fund , so I hope i am doing the right thing!

I have been answering all my phone calls, upto now they have all been ok, soon as I give them my CCS reference number and their phone number they are fine. Most of them have told me they have now put my account on hold till they hear from CCCS, I know it is early days and this might not last - but I have definately found that answering the phone calls has been best (so far!!)

Well done!! :T:T

Eupho

bigmommamuppet wrote: »

Good Afternoon to all the lovely DMPers out there,:hello:

**** Moan Alert ****

DMP ticking along nicely so no worries there, but I'm feeling carp today with all this budgeting lark and having little or no spare money. I think it is down to spending a weekend with friends who obviously have no money worries as they splash the cash all over the place.

For example they nipped out on Saturday for a pair of shoes for the youngest and came back with shoes for their 2 children (£60), a dog blanket (£25), sunglasses (£45) and various bits and pieces; they spent best part of £150. We were camping and they had forgotten to take this stuff with them, so not needed really just extras. They do this practically every weekend.

They then asked if we could get a babysitter and go out for dinner next weekend to a posh restaurant so again looking at another £150- £200 for a night out. Managed to make my excuses and say that I needed a quiet weekend at home, which is true as we have been out and about with friends for the last 8 weekends and fancy a quiet night with DH, but it has got me down a bit as every time we get invited somewhere I need to have a good think to see if we can afford it and I’m constantly watching the pennies when we’re out to make sure that we don’t spend too much.

As our circle of friends all have young kids we very rarely go out but instead go round to each other’s houses for dinner etc. so that’s not too much of problem but last night after the camping trip my DH invited everyone back to ours for a BBQ, so I raided our freezer and fridge and managed to feed 6 adults & 6 kids with what I had indoors but now that leaves me short of food for the rest of the week and I’ll have to do some more shopping, plus I didn’t have enough wine so they had to nip to theirs to get some more which again made me feel a bit carp. They all have wine racks bursting whereas I only ever have 1-2 bottles in at a time.

**** Moan Over ****

Sorry for that

So my question is? How do you manage to budget and have a social life at the same time? (Only got another 8 years of this to go)

:rotfl:

Hellooo Big momma! :wave:

I was just thinking.. Imagine if your friends were/are actually up to their eyeballs in debt.. and actually.. everything they just bought was ON cards... or because of them.
Maaayyybee.. they have just not had their LBM yet. Maybe you just don't know about that..

Keep THAT in mind..

(I used to spend like that.. just like that.. :rolleyes:)

Not anymore..
I am a 'Born again Scrooge' now.. :rotfl:

saskia1

i agree - social life now consists of going round friends for dinner - once a month visit to the pics and if anything crops up like a meal out - our friends are like yours bigmommapoppet - look at £100 for a meal out!

sorry - no can do this any longer - i'm lucky as my best friend is in a v similiar situation - we do have other friends who are constantly asking' shall we book for this? etc - - i agree its getting a nightmare but i'm sure we'll get used to it!

have 10 years on our dmp..........................will be a pair of hermits by then.

BTW -got a letter from RBOS - same as Eupho's - seemed very nice and sggesting payment plan - too good to be true methinks??

sas

saskia1

Eupho wrote: »

:rotfl:

Hellooo Big momma! :wave:

I was just thinking.. Imagine if your friends were/are actually up to their eyeballs in debt.. and actually.. everything they just bought was ON cards... or because of them.
Maaayyybee.. they have just not had their LBM yet. Maybe you just don't know about that..

Keep THAT in mind..

(I used to spend like that.. just like that.. :rolleyes:)

Not anymore..
I am a 'Born again Scrooge' now.. :rotfl:

haha - me too Eupho!!!! was always suggesting places to go & then flashing the cc about - even used to pay for friends with meals or to get in places & then spend the cash after!!

Eupho

Oh anyway.. as for a social life.. I think you (anyone) .. just needs to adjust how and when you do it.. (maybe)
Dont go to everything you are asked to.. make some social life of your own .. *Traaalaaaa* .. but on YOUR terms.

Maybe now its summery time.. every now and again invite a few friends over.. buy/make a few nibbles (not meals.. or CHEAP ones) .. buy a BIT of wine and beer (thats on offer, stash it away in advance if you need to).. and when they say 'Can I bring anything?' .. say yeah... 'Ohhh.. just bring something to drink'

Kids.. do it in an afternoon/early evening.. Buy a cheapo blow up paddling pool.

and start making YOUR place the place to be 'Social' .. On your terms.

Maybe.. haha

:wave:

Eupho

saskia1 wrote: »

haha - me too Eupho!!!! was always suggesting places to go & then flashing the cc about - even used to pay for friends with meals or to get in places & then spend the cash after!!

:rotfl::rotfl: Yep!!.. that was it! Thats exactly what I would do..

gaawwwd.. honestly.. I could kick my OWN backside now.. :rolleyes::rolleyes:

haha! We live and learn.. :rolleyes:

Eupho

Well... stinking Hitachi Capital (DFS Sofa) wrote me a 2nd letter today.

When I sent my first letter/offer/token payment.. :lovethougI got a (fast!) reply back saying.. No chance.. we want it NOW.

(Grrrrrrrrr!)

Sooo... I sent them the 'Please reconsider' template letter..

I just got a reply to that.. and its exactly the same letter as the first one.. (haha) Saying Nope!.. NOW LADY!!! Or the Rottweilers and hench men are comin!

haha.. errrm.. they didnt say that really.. But.. it wasn't very friendly.. just repeating that they do not accept my offer.. and if I dont pay it NOW.. then they are defaulting me.. and passing me to a DCA.. :rolleyes:

Anyhooo..

What I am thinking of writing now is a.. 'Go on then.. Clearly you are mean and horrible unlike my other LOVELY creditors..
So lets cut the junk out and just default me' ..

What do you think? .. (Cocker?.. I know you will read this later haha!)..
Obviously I will re word that a little..