DMP Mutual Support Thread (Part 5)

Toffee_Penny

charliedavis wrote: »

So it was just a dodgy pressure tactic? Aha will bear that in mind if anyone threatens to call at my house. Anyway they can always try the back door and get through the garden complete with dog :-)

hmmm :rolleyes: wonder how many people the debt collectors do actually visit? Is it just for the non payers? I think it would be pointless to send one to us on a DMP as you would just say 'I'm paying CCCS' and leave it at that.

elsie52

Hi Toffee Penny

My OH is also very laid back about all this. He realizes the extent of our debt ans is generally very supportive etc, but its the little things, like:-

Interest charges - he has no idea who is still charging interest and who isn't, nor does he care!
Switching lights on and off, I am very conscious of trying to cut down our monthly gas and electricity bills.
I try constantly to eek our grocery allowance out, so that I can put it towards things like a cheap holiday, and he doesn't seem to realize how hard it can be sometimes to 'get' spare cash.

After saying that, we have been married for 38 years, and he is so used to me dealing with all our day to day finances, so nothing has really changed.

It would be nice though to have him take the worry from me occasionally, but then I probably wouldn't rest until I had control again.

bigmommamuppet

Hi TP

I'm the same as you, DH tends to ignore our situation and lets me get on with things. He does like to go on a bit about the fact we have no money and life isn't fair, and everyone seems to have more 'cash' than we do. He seems to forget that we pay £750pm for 2 cars (1 ending v. soon:T) plus shell out for a fulltime nursery place for DS2, never mind the payment we make to the CCCS, so of course we have no money . and the reason why we ended up in the mess in the 1st place.

But saying that we're also getting on better than every before, so another good reason for heading down the DMP route. At one point we nearly split up over our debts.

Becks

cocker100

Toffee_Penny wrote: »

I've always wanted to be nosey on here and ask how being on a DMP affects your relationship at home. I honestly don't want to know about mum and dad stuff ahem thats for another type of forum But I assume most of the members on here are women so does your OH leave it all up to you to sort out? Do you find yourself getting stressed over creditors and OH seems so laid back with it all?

I'll be honest we have never got on so good since we started on our DMP but my OH does snap at me at times when I go on a bit about the debt. I think he thinks out of sight out of mind whereas I want to discuss it even though it won't change the fact we owe alot of money. I think he finds the whole situation depressing and just wants to make the monthly payment to CCCS and forget about the lot. He couldn't care less about charges and interest but I do I worry about the amounts getting higher and higher. Should I chill out or are there others on here feeling the same?

Hiya TP,

Hope you are well, hows the ppi reclaiming going?

Thought I must respond to this as one of the few blokes on here!!!:cool:

It's completely the other way round in our house. I look after all the money stuff as other half isn't really as clued up on financial things. Not that she doesn't understand, she just leaves it to me. Apart from the Tax Credits as that is paid into her bank. (When we get it that is!!!:mad:)

It is like hitting your head against a brick wall sometimes though. Our DMP is only in my name as it was all my credit cards and my overdraft that went onto it, even though she was a second card holder on most of the accounts, and used them frequently!!!:eek:
I sometimes think that she sees the debt as only my problem, even though she wracked up just as much of the debt as I did. Shes the type of girl who is willing to spend up to £100 on getting her hair done every couple of month and not wondering how it is going to be paid for when the CC bill arrives the followng month! I came home from work one day and she had "bought" us a new Zafira people carrier from the car garage up the road. When I asked how we were going to pay for it, she replied "Oh, i've just put it on the Tesco credit card!!!":eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

As the DMP is only in my name, she still has her own credit accounts. An overdraft and a Next account. I dread the Next sales coming around. Shes up at the crack of dawn and off to town. A couple of hours later she returns with several bags of goods, all put on the knock onto her Next account.:wall:If I mention it, all I get is, "its my account, i'll do what I want. I pay the bill for it!" Which is true, she does, but we are supposed to be on a budget.

I've just read back what i've wrote and i've made her out to be a right ****!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Shes not that bad. One thing we both have got much better at is food shopping on a budget. She is very good at seeking out the best buys in all the supermarkets. I must say we eat far more healthy food than we used to. No more take away stuff when you cant be bothered to cook after work!(Well not very often;))

Oh yeah, and we hardly ever go out to the pub any more. We just drink in the house for a fraction of the cost.
But now I drink twice as much!!!:beer::beer::beer:
...........................and speak to random strangers on the internet about my woes!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I think it's time for bed!

Night All,

Cocker:)

Mrs_Ryan

I must admit it has caused problems.

OH thinks debt is evil and is always banging on about how he he has NO DEBT WHATSOEVER (I have to keep pointing out to him that his mortgage is debt) His ex ran up 20k on credit cards and kept trying to get him to take out a loan for her to clear them, but despite the fact my debt is only 4k and I didnt even tell him until my DMP was all sorted, he says Im no better than her which does cause a LOT of friction.
I pay the DMP with my own money and have never even suggested he help me with my debt, so it has caused rows.
However he is still happy to suggest we use MY credit card to pay for things like holiday deposits...!!! And he certainly didnt turn down the PS3 I bought him on credit for Christmas last year....!!! Ho hum.

Scottishmummy

stickman wrote: »

Hi All,
Advice needed desperately please. On DMP with cccs for last 2 years.
Total debt outstanding 48k on original debt of 45k. So as you can see interest on all mydebts has not been frozen and as such debt increased.At this rate Iwill be old and grey before paying it all off. Anyone out there that's had their interest frozen, and how to go about it?
So desperate,even thought of taking second charge on house with mortgage provider and try for full and final settlement figure failing that pay off in full. Want to pay my dues but can't go on forever like this need to see some light at the end of the tunnel.
If they did freeze int I could possibly increase payments a little more and clear total debt in 5 years that way they would get more than a full and final settlement, ssems crazy not to.

Sorry for rambling on
Thanks for any advice

We've been on a dmp with cccs for almost 5 years now and at first HBOS wouldn't stop interest. When we spoke to cccs about it they said not to worry because as others were paid off there would be more money to give to them. I'm sure it took a couple of years but they did eventually stop interest and the only problem has been they insist on getting up to date financial statements every six months. As we only do an annual review yearly they only get an exact copy of the annual one but it has been fine.

Up until now however:mad::mad::mad:.

We had 4 accounts with them two of which were being dealt with by their own DC Blair Oliver and Scott and two which they were dealing with themselves. Earlier this year 3 of the accounts were sold off to an external dc but cccs cancelled the wrong payment to them, so we have been getting letters and phone calls again but I have explained what has happened and cccs have sorted out the account details so it should all be okay again but I think the calls will continue until they receive the next payment. HBOS will only deal with the roll number of the account which starts with a D but cccs use the sort code and account number and the new dc has thrown a third reference number into the mix so the confusion was identifying which roll number went with with account number.

After all this time DH still has not learned not give out any security info over the phone if someone phones him:mad: so just as well I'm at home tomorrow morning and can field them.

DevonGirl

Toffee_Penny wrote: »

I've always wanted to be nosey on here and ask how being on a DMP affects your relationship at home

Interesting question, Toffee Penny, and interesting to read others' responses, including cocker100 (ever the dry wit!! :rotfl:).

I personally live alone, and while that has its advantages in that I don't have to worry about my 'other half' and getting into rows about money, it can also be quite hard having to deal with it alone (although of course some would say, quite rightly, that I got into debt alone so only myself to blame). I have a relative on an IVA and a friend at work to confide it, so that takes the pressure off, and there's always you guys to turn to for support :A, but it can be quite hard.

Last night after cooking a meal in batch (i.e. eat 1 portion, freeze 3), cleaning, working out grocery budget (got to eek £7.50 out until payday on 26th), I finally sat down around 9pm to relax before bed, when Citibank rang my mobile. I diverted it to 'busy tone', and then around 5 seconds later they rang my home phone number :mad:. I answered it but the operators were clearly too busy to answer the automatic call so after a few 'Hello... HELLOOO?'s, I put the phone down. And turned to self-medication (ie. cheap wine)

When you're on your own it can be quite intimidating to be constantly hassled by these phone calls. On a good day I can be strong and ignore them, but on a bad day it's quite upsetting..... So spare a thought for us singletons out there!!!! (Ok, moan over!!!! )

On a separate note, hello to all the new people who've appeared on this thread and GOOD LUCK to all those starting on a DMP on 1st June!! Despite my moaning, and although it can be hard work at times, it really IS preferable to constantly worrying!

newlywed

Actually being on the DMP improved things at home.

Previously we would bicker. He would want us to go out, spend money etc (despite him hardly having any work at all at the time) and I would either snap or make excuses as to why not. He knew I had debt, but neither of us had really sat down and added up the full amount of debt, repayments, interest against our income and outgoings. It was pretty dire.

Now I'm on the DMP (debts all in my name and most pre-OH) he understands a bit better that I have a budget, that I've got a few years to go to get to debt free and that my income doesn't vary like his does. But I do worry about his catalogue bills a little. Thankfully he has paid off his credit card and closed that (due to a huge hike in interest rate).

We sometimes have minor disagreements the week before I get paid (when he moans we've run out of something at home and I am broke), but other than that, life is much better.

St0lli

DevonGirl wrote: »

When you're on your own it can be quite intimidating to be constantly hassled by these phone calls. On a good day I can be strong and ignore them, but on a bad day it's quite upsetting..... So spare a thought for us singletons out there!!!! (Ok, moan over!!!! )

And I thought I was the only singleton in the DMP Village! :rotfl:

Well I do have my son as well but I can't really tell him about the DMP although he's under no illusion that money is tight!

Glad to know I'm not the only singleton here! :T

Daffykjs

Hmmm how does it affect the relationship? Good question.

Me and hubs hardly ever argue but over the last couple of years money is the only thing we've really argued about!

He just couldn't understand why i'd get so upset about it. 'It's only money' 'it will be ok'. Well yes it will be ok, but only if we actually start doing something about it! It's always been 'ok' for him but he doesn't seem to understand it's because someone else has sorted it! there's no magic wand!

He hates dealing with money issues and therefore never does. he just hides away from it. and when you try and talk to him about it you can actually see his eyes glaze over with (i believe) disinterest. and if caught at the wrong time can be quite defensive.

Well i hate dealing with money issues too but someone has to and if i don't then we're going to go under! (Another classic quote when i used the 'we could lose the house line' which is the only thing that ever really got him worried 'well we'd never be homeless, we've got plenty of family to stay with'. Great!)

However things are better. Mainly coz I'm better. I'm happier and more relaxed and more in control. Even with the slip ups (like buying my new camera, oops) I feel like it's not the end of the world and can be sorted!! The DMP has been a godsend to my mental state! I now only cry at soppy films and sad tv shows, oh and toothache! no longer about money! woohoo!

He has no input in the DMP, but he is quite good at taking orders. I think he appreciates me taking control of it and sorting it out. And weirdly i think i like it too. don't think i'd like it to be the other way round! (Control freak? Me? Surely not!) I give him pocket money each week and that's that. However he works away most of the time and as yet i can't tell if it's easier DMP wise this way or not. Good things are i can budget better when it's just me, bad things are when he's home we want to do things and normally that costs money. he also is terrible with food and wants certain stuff, so value food or making bulk meals is impossible.

most of the debt is my name but some of it is his and i think it's all relative. when we actually got into trouble and needed to do this, on my own i could have paid mine off (well min payments, i now know even this is not ideal) but his low wages brought the money down and i was spending any money left for food and lviving on subsidising his debts. I think he thinks it's all MINE and that he's doing me a favour by lumping it together. I take the responsbility for my debt BUT a lot of it is partially his fault too. he's never earned a lot so I would always have to pay for things and have a few times had to pay his cc bills. So i do still get a bit annoyed at his apparent attitude that it's all me and he has no responsibility for it!

having said that, when given pocket money he's actually better at only spending just that than me! and he has done as he's told when asked to phone his creditors etc. (It's like having a child sometimes). Remains to be seen whether it will be better or worse when he comes back home permanently. At the moment we're so glad to be spending time together and he's so glad to not be at work that we don't want to rock the boat!

Time will tell!